"You're going to get so fat, you know that, right?"
"Don't tell me. I can't be your best friend once I'm fat?"
"You wish you could drop me that easily. I'm not going anywhere."
"Well you never know. I might be."
"You might be what?" I frowned and sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Nothing, I gotta go. See you at 7."
"Okay."
"Oh, and Rhett?"
"Yes?"
"Bring a t-shirt if you plan on staying over tonight. You stretched out my last one."
"Well if you insist on buying girly-sized t-shirts, that's going to happen. I'm a man, you know."
"No need to worry too much. You'll be able to fit into my fat t-shirts quite soon."
"Clementine you're silly." I laughed and jumped up feeling excited. "I'll start training you at the gym if you want!"
"I don't want." She made a noise that made me think of sex.
"Don't make that noise." I groaned.
"What noise?"
"That grunting moaning noise."
"Are you going crazy? What grunting moaning noise?" She groaned again.
"You just did it again." I frowned, not wanting to think of her in that way. Clementine was the only girl that I had as a friend. She was the only girl I hadn't tried to sleep with and I wanted it to remain that way.
"Rhett, you have sex on the brain. I'm surprised you want to hang out with me tonight."
"I got cancelled on." I said lightly and waited for her to say something.
"Wow, don't I feel special! I'm back-up girl number two."
"Number five." I laughed. "The four other girls I wanted to take out were busy."
"Rhett, did you really have to tell me that?"
"No, but I value honesty." I laughed easily even though it was a lie. I hadn’t asked any other girls out for the night.
"If we hadn't met as kids there is no way that we'd be friends right now." Clementine’s voice sounded a bit annoyed.
"I can't help being hot."
"I know. Just like you can't help being rich or smart or cocky."
"Hey, hey now." I frowned. "You okay?"
"I'm fine." She sighed. "Be at my place at 6:30. I don't want you chatting away once my shows start."
"We wouldn't want those maids to feel like they're being ignored now, would we?" I joked and she groaned.
“I gotta go, Jake’s giving me a look ‘cause I keep throwing the Frisbee to the side.” She huffed out and then hung up the phone. I threw the phone onto the bed and then I checked my appearance in the mirror before leaving my room. I stared at my handsome face and frowned. Sometimes I wondered what life would be like if I wasn't so handsome. Would girls react differently if my eyes weren't so blue and sparkly? Would they still want to tousle my silky hair if it was ginger and coarse? Would they still longingly stare at me if I was average-looking? I took a deep breath and walked out of the room and wondered how much I took for granted in my life. My grandma had always told me that I was lucky I had such beautiful baby blue eyes. I had learned from a young age that all I needed to do to get out of trouble was to give a wide smile and a quick look of sorrow. I'd gotten away with almost everything with my mom and grandma. Until everything changed, of course.
It had been different with my dad and Clementine. Clementine seemed to be immune to my looks. She'd never flirted with me or expressed any sort of interest. We'd been friends since we were little kids and we’d stayed friends all the way through college. There’d never been one time that she’d ever expressed a romantic interest in me. Not even in high school, when all the girls had started flirting with me hardcore. We'd even been assigned as lab partners in chemistry and she'd spent more time staring at labels than she had staring at me. It had been disconcerting at first. I’d assumed that she’d eventually be like every other girl once I’d hit puberty. I had even daydreamed of her begging me to kiss her and be her boyfriend once we became teens, but she’d never treated me as more than her best friend. Of course I'd blamed her lack of interest on her being a lesbian for a couple of months, but then she'd started gushing about some junior called Tony and I'd realized that she was as into men as most of the other girls in school. She just wasn't into me. It had stung at first, but then I'd liked the idea. She would be my first real female friend that was really only interested in being friends. I wouldn’t have to worry about her falling in love with me and I didn't worry about falling in love with her. It was high school that cemented our forever friendship. She was the one stable person in my life. The one constant. She cared for me above my looks and my money. She wanted nothing more than to be my best friend. She didn’t demand emotions and promises from me that I couldn’t give. She understood that I didn't do love and never would.
***
"Move over." I pushed Clementine over on the bed. "Bed hog."
"Sit on the chair." She stuck her tongue out at me.
"Your chair's not comfortable. I want to sit on the bed."
"You're annoying." She shook her head and her long brown hair went flying as she moved over. "Come on, then." She patted the mattress next to her.
I promptly plopped down on the bed next to her and lifted my feet up.
"Rhett, take your shoes off." She hit me in the arm and I laughed.
"Okay, okay." I leaned down and undid my laces and dropped my shoes on the floor and lay back. "So is Catty Maids about to come on?"
"It's called Devious Maids, and yes." She looked over at me. "You better not fall asleep."
"I'm not promising anything." I laughed and pushed my head back in her pillow. "Your bed is so comfortable."
"So why no date tonight?" She peered at me with a curious expression on her face. I didn't want her to know that I hadn't asked anyone out.
"I guess they're all busy because of finals."
"Finals are not until next week." She made a face. "I don't think the girls you date are studying this early."
"You've been studying."
"You don't date girls like me." She laughed and I reached out and grabbed her.
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean that you don't date smart girls." She shrugged and her brown eyes flashed at me.
"Some of the girls I date are smart." My hand rested on her arm for a few more seconds. "Maybe not as smart as you, but they're smart."
"Uh huh." She rolled her eyes. "You don't do smart girls."
"I do all girls." I grinned and she groaned. "What?" I laughed. "It's true."
"You need to fall in love."
"Ugh, don't mention love to me." I shuddered.
"Come on, Rhett."
"I'm not interested." I sighed and thought back to my parents’ abusive marriage that had lasted way too long because they loved each other. "I'm not made for love. I'm made for lovemaking."
"You really think you're some sort of pimp, don't you?" She sighed.
"Not a pimp." My fingers ran to her cheek. "I remember when I kissed you, you didn't object."
"We were playing spin the bottle." She rolled her eyes, but I could see a red hue rising in her face. “And we were thirteen.”
"You didn't have to use tongue." I grinned at her and licked my lips and she groaned and pulled away from me.
"Let's just watch TV." She grabbed the remote and turned the volume up. "Now be quiet."
"You're so bossy."
"Shhh." She put her finger to her lips and I laughed and watched the TV screen. The screen flashed with a bunch of hot girls and I wondered what it would be like to sleep with a maid. I was busy staring at one of the actress’s chests when Clementine screamed and jumped up in the bed, making me almost fall off.
“Dude, what’s going on?” I looked at her in concern and she glared at me.
“Shh.” She put her finger to her lips and looked back at the screen. “He has a gun.”
“Who has a gun?” I whispered and looked back at the screen.
“Shhh.” She groaned and elbowed me.
“Ow, that hurt.” I looked over at her face as she stared intently at the TV screen. Her eyes were alert and I could see that she was concentrating hard. I grinned to myself as I thought about tickling her and distracting her. She’d be so pissed if I did that. I was debating risking her wrath when the TV went to commercial break.
“Rhett, you’re not even watching the show.” She looked at me with pursed lips.
“It’s boring.” I shrugged. “Let’s go out and do something.”
“I already told you I don’t want to go out tonight.” She shook her head.
“Fine.” I lay back and yawned. “Boring.”
“I don’t know why you came over if you wanted to go out.”
“I wanted to hang out!” I turned on my side and spoke to her. “You haven’t even asked me how my date went last night.”
“Because I don’t want to know.” She shook her head with a small smile.
“What do you mean you don’t want to know?” I raised an eyebrow. “You always want to know.”
“Rhett, I don’t want to encourage you in your shady dating habits.” She shook her head.
“So you don’t want to know what drama went on last night?” I cocked my head and looked at her. I watched as her eyes widened in excitement. I knew that she totally wanted to know what had happened the night before. Clementine was as into gossip and drama as any girl I knew. I wasn’t even sure why she was pretending that she didn’t care.
“What happened?” she gasped finally, unable to stop herself.
“I thought you needed to concentrate on your show.”
“These are the moments DVRs are made for. Pause.” She grinned and pointed the remote at the TV. “Now spill.”
“You sure you want to know?” I raised an eyebrow and almost laughed at the eager expression on her face.
“Yes, yes.” She nodded and leaned towards me. “Spill all the details. Did they scream at you? Did you get slapped?” Her voice rose eagerly. “Oh my god, did they fight?”
“Clementine.” I shook my head and laughed. “You’re watching way too much of that TV show.”
“Tell me.” She groaned and grabbed my arms. “I need to know.” I tried to ignore the warmth of her fingers on her skin. Her fingers felt smooth and pressed into my flesh tightly. I shifted on the bed at the slight buzz of electricity I felt at her touch.
“Let’s just say that Jackie didn’t mind at all.” I raised an eyebrow. “At least, I don’t think her br**sts minded as they rubbed up and down on my chest.”
“What?” Clementine’s jaw dropped and her eyes narrowed. I saw a flash of disappointment in her eyes, but it faded quickly. “They still slept with you?”
“No,” I defended myself, even though I wasn’t sure why I wanted her to know I hadn’t slept with them. “We didn’t have sex. She gave me a lap dance.” I shrugged.
“What? You booked a date with two girls on one night and one of them gave you a lap dance?” She shook her head.
“Well, I took Tomas with me for Sally.”
“How nice of you.” She rolled her eyes.
“You think I’m a pig?” I grinned.
“Let’s just say I wouldn’t want to date you.” She lay back and her brown eyes looked at me in disgust. “You just don’t care, do you?”
“I care about you.” I reached over and pinched her cheek. “But only because you’re a brat and I’ve known you for years.”
“I mean about the girls you date.”
“I care.” I shrugged. “I ask them on dates, I pay, I give them what they want.”
“No you don’t.” She moved away from me and frowned.
“Yes, I do.”
“You’ve never given one girl what they really wanted.” She shook her head. “Not one. You’ve never made one of them your girlfriend.”
“Ugh, don’t say that word.” I shivered.
“I don’t understand why you won’t get a real girlfriend.” She sighed. “We don’t all have cooties, you know.”
“Trust me, I know.” I licked my lips suggestively and she groaned.
“All you care about is sex.”
“At least I don’t lie and tell them I want a relationship.” I sighed, not wanting to get into a conversation over me being a commit-ophobe. “I’m not interested in having a relationship.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know.” She grabbed the remote. “Now, shh.”
“Wait, what?” I grabbed her hand. “You’re turning the TV back on already?”
“Yeah.” She smiled at me and winked. “You know how I need my drama. And it looks like tonight I have to get it from the maids and not your pitiful love life.”
“Whatever.” I stared at her. “I should leave if you’re going to be mean to me.”
“Uh huh.” She stared back at me with a challenging gaze. “We both know that’s not going to happen.”