“I’m not really sure, that was a while ago.” I lied.
“What?” She smiled happily at me. “A player like you?”
“I’m not that big a player.” I smiled.
“You let women go down on you randomly though.” She sighed and looked into my eyes. “Don’t tell me.” She shook her head. “I don’t really want to know.”
“Clemmie, it’s never been as special with anyone else as it has been with you.” I kissed her nose. “Trust me, the only person I want holding my c**k right now is you.”
“That’s so corny.” She groaned and rolled her eyes.
“It’s true.” I laughed.
“Oh my God.” She shuddered. “We just became those friends.”
“What friends?” I asked her curiously.
“The friends that hook up.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.” I kissed her softly.
“I feel like friends that hook up always fall out.” She made a face.
“That’s friends that have sex.” I answered quickly. “Friends that have sex are easier to fall out, but best friends that hook up, that’s fine. It’s normal even.”
“It’s normal?” She raised an eyebrow at me and I laughed.
“Well, it’s fine, I mean.” And laughed as well. “Now, be quiet so I can regain my energy and make you come again.”
***
“We’re never going to want to go anywhere again.” Clementine panted after I went down on her for the second time. “What could be better than this?” She held me in her arms and I grinned as I nibbled on her lips.
“You going down on me.” I winked at her and she groaned.
“I’ve never done that before.” She nibbled her lower lip.
“If you don’t want to, it’s fine.” I brushed her hair back. “I don’t need you do that Clemmie, I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”
“I know.” She nodded and chewed on her lower lip. “Can I ask you something Rhett?”
“Of course.” I smiled at her.
“I want you to come somewhere with me tomorrow.”
“Sure.” I shrugged. “Wherever you want.”
“I want us to go and visit your mom.” She spoke softly and I froze.
“My mom.” I frowned and pulled away from her.
“Please.” She bit her lower lip and I could see her expression was pained. “If you trust me like I trust you, you’ll come.”
“I really don’t want to go and see her.” I felt my body tense just thinking about her. “I really don’t want to go, Clemmie.”
“I promise we don’t have to stay if you’re not comfortable.” She grabbed my hand. “I’m not doing this to hurt you, Rhett.”
“I know.” I sighed and closed my eyes. “I just don’t want to go and see her.”
“It will just be for an afternoon.” She leaned over and kissed me. “Please, for me.”
“You’re asking for a lot, Clementine.” I shook my head and sighed. “And I mean a lot. This is even more than asking me to go down on you.”
“You wanted to go down on me.” She blushed.
“Only because you made us watch that porno.” I teased her.
“I didn’t know it was a sexy movie.” She blushed and I paused.
“Clementine O’Hara, I do believe you’re lying to me.” My breath caught as I studied her face. “You knew that movie was sexy, didn’t you.”
“No.” She shook her head and looked away from me.
“You totally knew that movie was sexy.” I laughed. “You tried to seduce me.”
“I didn’t try to seduce you.” She made a face at me and groaned.
“Clementine, tell me the truth and I’ll go with you tomorrow.”
“Fine.” She buried her face in my chest. “Yes, I had heard that that movie was sexy and yes, I kinda wanted to know what it was like for a guy to go down on me. And yes, I wanted that guy to be you. After you told me about it the other night, I’ve been thinking about it.” She paused. “I’m so embarrassed.”
“Don’t be embarrassed.” I pulled her towards me and kissed her. “I think that’s awesome.” I held her close to me and closed my eyes. One part of me felt like I was soaring high and the other part of me felt like I was about to make one wrong step and trip down into hell.
Chapter Ten
“Hey, hey, hey.” Clementine sang along to the radio as I drove down the highway on the way to Beaufort.
“You think you want me to drive you to the American Idol auditions instead?” I smiled at her as she continued singing at the top of her voice. She grinned back at me and I tried not to wince as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. Every time her phone rang or she got a text, I was scared it was going to be from Penelope. Not that I thought I was completely in the wrong. It’s not like Clementine and I were official or I did anything to break her trust, but I just didn’t know how she’d react. I knew deep inside that what I’d done was a bit shady.
“Well you know. I don’t want Simon to fall in love with me and take me away from you.” She giggled and I shook my head.
“I hope you wouldn’t leave me for Simon.”
“Ugh.” She looked at her phone and changed the subject.
“What’s wrong?” I gave her a quick glance and saw she was making a face at the phone.
“Elliott wants to talk about what happened.” She sighed. “He says he owes me an apology.”
“Ignore.” I shook my head. “He’s so predictable.”
“Yeah.” She sounded hesitant. “Are you excited about seeing your mom?”
“I wouldn’t say excited, no.” My tone changed and I felt my heart harden. “You know I don’t want to see her.”
“She’s your mom, Rhett.” Her voice was soft as she touched my arm lightly.
“So?”
“You’ll regret it if you never see her.”
“I don’t agree.” I turned the radio up and stared at the road in front of me. I wasn’t sure why I’d agreed to come to Beaufort to see my mom. I hadn’t even know she’d lived so close. I didn’t even know how Clementine knew. I didn’t care. I didn’t want to care. I was so annoyed that she had talked me into coming. I knew I had only agreed because I was still feeling high from my orgasm. Only thing was, I didn’t want to think about the orgasm either. I didn’t want to think about touching Clementine. I was ashamed that I’d touched her and enjoyed it, knowing I could never give her what she wanted.
“Rhett.” She reached over and turned the volume down. “You can’t ignore her for the rest of your life.”
“She’s never contacted me.” I spat out bitterly. “Not once since she left. No cards. No presents. No visits. No nothing. Why should I care about her?”
“Maybe she had her reasons.”
“Maybe she did. I don’t care.” I sighed and reached to turn the volume back up, but Clementine grabbed my hand and stopped me. Her fingers felt warm on me and I cringed and pulled my hand away. I didn’t want her touching me, trying to make me think things I didn’t want to think.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice sounded hurt and I just kept my eyes forward. “You can turn the radio back up if you want to.”
“It’s fine. We can keep it off.” I shrugged and swallowed. “You’re going to have to give me directions in a bit. I have no idea where we’re going.”
“I put it in the GPS on my phone.” She sighed. “Let me check.”
“Fine.” I mumbled.
“Okay, when we exit, we need to take the first right.”
“Fine.” I ignored the sudden lurch in my stomach as I realized that I was close to seeing my mom again. What would she look like? Would she recognize me? Would she cry or try to hug me? I shuddered as I thought about her touching me. I’d step away. I wouldn’t want her to touch me. Not at all. “My dad would be surprised to know I was going.” I laughed bitterly.
“He should have handled everything differently.” She spoke softly. “He cheated on her and then kicked her out. He knew she had a problem with alcohol. He could have handled things differently.”
“So it’s his fault that my mom is a drunk.”
“She’s not a drunk anymore.” She sighed.
“So now you’re on her side.”
“I’m not on her side. I just understand how devastating it must have been for her to find out her husband had been cheating on her.”
“It happens.” I rolled my eyes. “Everyone who gets cheated on doesn’t turn to alcohol or drugs.”
“Heartbreak is a hard thing for some people to deal with.”
“Sex is sex. It has nothing to do with love.”
“Some people only have sex with people they love.”
“That’s what they tell themselves so they don’t feel guilty. People have sex because it feels good. They want to have an orgasm. They want to fly high for a couple of minutes.”
“Sex means more than that, Rhett.” Her voice was soft and I could tell she was feeling annoyed.
“Sex is sticking a dick in a vagina.” I said bluntly. “And whatever lesbians and gays do.”
“Rhett.” She sighed.
“Don’t tell me, you need me to tell you what they do?”
“No. I don’t.” Her words were abrupt and I knew she was getting angry.
“Just don’t get it twisted, Clementine. Sex doesn’t equal love. Shit, half the guys I know at school would f**k any girl that would have them.”
“Thanks.” She muttered.
“Don’t act like you’re surprised.” I sighed. “And don’t act pissed. I didn’t f**k you because I know you need it to be all special and shit.”
“You had o**l s*x with me.” She said stiffly and I felt myself growing warm at the memory of her supple body beneath mine.
“I eat pu**y good. Don’t I?”
“You’re a pig.” She gasped.
“I’m just being honest.”
“I know it didn’t mean much to you, Rhett, but it meant something to me.” Her voice broke and my heart stopped for a second.
“I’m sorry.” I gave her a quick look and reached out and touched her shoulder. “It meant something to me as well. Ignore me. I’m being a jerk.”
“It would hurt me if I found out you’d been with anyone else.” She sighed. “Not before obviously, but now.”
“What do you mean?” The words coming out of my mouth sounded distant to my ears.
“I mean, if you went and slept with a girl tomorrow, it would hurt me.”
“I’m not going to be sleeping with a girl tomorrow.” I gave her a quick smile. “Unless it’s you.”
“This is difficult.” She sighed and nibbled on her lower lip. “Take the next left by the way.”
“Okay.” I got into the left hand lane and turned on my indicator. “What is difficult?”
“How do we navigate this?” She sighed and I could see her staring at me.
“Navigate what?” I could feel my face growing hot. She wasn’t turning into that girl already, was she?
“I know you don’t do relationships.” She said softly. “I don’t expect you to change for me. I just don’t know what we do next? Do we continue to mess around and stay friends? Do we hook up and see what happens?”
“What do you mean and stay friends?” I pulled off to the side of the road and turned off the ignition and turned to face her. “We’re staying friends, period. There is no option where we don’t stay friends. Do you understand that?”
“I do.” She nodded and looked at me with wide eyes. I could see the fear in her brown eyes. She was already having doubts about what we’d done. I couldn’t say I blamed her. I wouldn’t have wanted her to hook up with someone like me.
“Let’s just see what happens.” I shrugged and grabbed her hands. “Not much has to change. We’ll just do what we always did, but when we sleep over now, we don’t have to wear any clothes.” I grinned at her and she gave me a small smile.
“You think it’s going to be that easy.” She licked her lips quickly and I couldn’t stop myself from moving forward and kissing her. Her eyes widened as my tongue slipped into her mouth and my lips sucked on her tongue. I pulled back after a few minutes and nodded.
“It will be that easy.” I grinned. “I have no problem sleeping na**d with you.”
“What about…” She mumbled and paused.
“What about what?” I frowned and tilted my head.
“What about sex?” She looked down and blushed.
“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” I grabbed her chin and brought up her face to look at me. “We’ll go at your pace.”
“Why do I think you don’t normally say that?” She smiled at me and I laughed.
“Maybe because I don’t.” I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. “I don’t want anything to change between us, Clementine. I just want this to be another perk of our friendship.”