Disillusioned (Swept Away 2)

“Of all the women in the world what?” My voice rose.

“I got stuck with you.”

“You got stuck with me?” My jaw dropped. “Is that a fucking joke?”

“Did you just learn the F-bomb?” He glanced at me. “I didn’t mean stuck with you in a bad way. I was teasing you. We just had a nice moment, no need to ruin it.”

“Excuse me?” I looked at him again and hid a smile. Two could play this game.

“You’ve been saying fuck a lot.”

My jaw dropped. “Are you seriously on my case about my language?” Don’t laugh, Bianca.

“The profanity, yes.” He laughed. “There’s no need to swear so much.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck fuck, fuck off, you fucked-up piece of shit!” I fake-shouted at him, then burst out laughing in hysterics. “You should have seen your face just now.” I giggled. “You looked so worried.”

“Feel better?” He glanced at me with an eyebrow raised.

“You think you’re so cool, don’t you?” I stared at his profile. I felt so lighthearted being with him in this moment. A small seed of hope had taken root in my heart after our conversation, and for the first time ever I felt completely confident and comfortable with him.

“You think I’m cool, don’t you?” He smiled at me and turned onto the freeway. “By the way, you haven’t responded.”

“Responded to what?”

“My declaration of love.”

“What declaration of love?” I rolled my eyes, my heart beating fast. Was this really the time? I wanted to hear it, but I was scared to respond. I didn’t want us to move too quickly. The circumstances of our meeting were so extraordinary—what if that was the sole basis for our heightened feelings?

“I’ve told you twice now.” He sounded unsure of himself.

“You told me what?”

“That I love you.”

“No, you didn’t. You said that you think you’re falling in love with me. That’s not the same.” I paused. “And that’s stupid, anyway.”

“Why is it stupid?” he said softly.

“You don’t do love, and you kidnapped me.” I can’t let myself believe that he loves me. Not yet.

“Things change.”

“Kidnapping someone doesn’t change.” I turned to him. “That happened and can’t be changed.” Though I’m falling in love with you as well, but I’m too chicken to tell you.

“I’m falling in love with you, Bianca,” he said again gently. “That complicates things, I know, but it doesn’t have to.”

“What things?” I asked softly, my brain going fuzzy. Did he really love me? Was he telling the truth? Should I tell him that I felt the same way?

“How do you feel?” For the first time, he sounded unsure.

“Feel about what?”

It was his turn to snap. “Bianca.”

“I don’t know,” I lied. I already knew that I was in love with him.

“I see.” He reached over and turned the radio on. “You don’t have to sleep in my bed if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“I’m not worried about sleeping in your bed,” I said softly.

“I don’t want you to think that just because you’re staying with me that you have to be in the same bed with me. You don’t have to sleep with me or have sex or anything. That’s not why I’m—”

“Oh, shut up.” I sighed. “You know I like you, Jakob.”

“You do?” His tone changed and he sounded so upbeat that I laughed.

“Yes, I do. I don’t know if I trust you, but that’s another story.”

“You don’t trust me?” He sounded disappointed.

“I’ve been fooled more than once before.” I tried to explain to him that it wasn’t personal. “Forgive me if I don’t know who to trust right now.”

“But you came with me.”

“You didn’t really give me much choice.”

“You chose to come with me. I didn’t make you.”

“I know. I want us to work on this together, and maybe it’s for the best that I stay with you. Way too many people have access to my apartment right now.”

“We’ll get to the bottom of this, Bianca. I promise.”

“Can you promise that we’ll get to the bottom of this and I’ll still trust you have told me everything you know?” I asked him quietly.

He gave me a guilty look before turning back to the traffic. After about a minute’s silence he finally answered simply, “No. I can’t promise that.”

“Jakob.” The disappointment in my voice was evident.

“You don’t know everything I know yet, but you will, I promise. I’m going to tell you everything I know, Bianca, and we’re going to figure this all out together.”

We pulled up outside a building and an elderly doorman rushed to the car door.

“Good evening, Mr. Bradley.”

“Good evening, George.” Jakob jumped out of the car, and before I knew it, he was grabbing my bag from the back while George opened my car door. He looked surprised when he saw me emerge from the car.

“Thank you, George,” I said quietly.

“You’re welcome, madam.” He gave me a weak smile, his eyes never leaving my face.