Instead, he led me through his impressive home to a back corner that contained a spare bedroom, a dedicated bathroom, and a tiny office. It was almost like its own small apartment attached to the rest of Tom’s house. Seeing this underscored the stark contrast between the way he lived and the way the rest of us did.
What was the most interesting about me noticing that was that I also realized I wasn’t envious of him. His place was really nice. And it was obvious he was comfortable. More than comfortable. But I already felt homesick. This definitely wasn’t somewhere I would want to spend too much time.
It was, however, the perfect place for me to hide out for a while. Tom dropped me off in the extra room and walked out. He came back a few minutes later with a stack of towels and a set of pajamas.
“You look exhausted,” he said. “Why don’t you go in there and take a shower, then get some sleep.”
“I’m sorry to just show up like this,” I said.
“Not a problem,” he said. “You’re my brother. You’re always welcome here. I’m going to catch another hour or so of sleep, then I have to get ready for work. Are you going to be okay here by yourself today?”
“Absolutely,” I said.
“Good. Take a shower. Good night,” he said.
The door closed behind him, and I went into the massive bathroom. I started a hot shower, then closed the drain so the tub would fill and I could sink down into the water and relax my tense muscles. The tightness started to release, and as it did, the exhaustion crept in.
It wasn’t until right then that I realized how tired I actually was. The hot water felt so good, I wanted to just stay there in the bath for the next several hours, but I didn’t trust myself to not fall asleep. After all the effort I put into getting here, it would be anticlimactic to drown myself in a bath.
To avoid the humiliation of being splashed across the news the next day, I dragged myself out of the tub and put on the cotton lounge pants and undershirt Tom had brought me. By the time I got to the bed, I felt like I couldn’t even hold myself up anymore. I dropped down onto it, pulled the blankets over my head, and fell into a deep, blank sleep.
I slept most of the day, and when I woke up, I found a note from Tom telling me to make myself at home. A set of clothes were sitting on the dresser along with a spare toothbrush and tube of toothpaste. Either he was always prepared for unexpected guests to show up, or he was taking recent world developments very seriously and prepping for the apocalypse on a very small scale.
I went to the kitchen to scavenge something to eat. A bowl of cereal, toast, and a couple of cups of coffee later, I started thinking again. I still wasn’t entirely clear on why I had hit the road and ended up hours away in San Francisco. I had three brothers in Oregon who I could talk to. That was when it occurred to me. I was now sharing my life in Oregon with Ava.
I couldn’t just talk to Matt, Tyler, or Jesse. They all knew Ava so well and were getting closer to her all the time. They wouldn’t know how to feel or what to think about it. They were too close, too involved.
Tom was separate. He knew Ava, of course. But for the most part, he was at a distance, and that made him a safer candidate for hiding out until I could figure out what I was supposed to do next. That was the looming challenge ahead of me. I needed to wrap my brain around what was going on before I could react.
The thing was, it wasn’t just one issue I was having to face and figure out. It wasn’t just the news about Ava’s pregnancy. It was the fact that she had lied to me. She’d looked right at me and lied about the baby. Then she’d continued to hide it from me. I had to deal with that and figure out where we would stand.
Tom got back in the middle of the afternoon. He found me sprawled out on the couch with a sandwich and a book.
“That looks good,” he said. “What is that?”
“Tuna salad,” I said. “I made a big bowl of it. It’s in the refrigerator.”
He went into the kitchen and a few moments later came into the living room with his own plate and a drink. He dropped down into the chair beside the couch, and we ate for a few quiet moments.
“So, what brings you out here, Mason?” he finally asked.