And I had absolutely no idea how to handle it. Up until that point, I figured my crush was harmless. It was just one of those puppy dog-eyed attractions everybody went through. You never actually thought that crush you had was going to turn into anything. That was definitely the case for me. Never would I have imagined there was a way the gorgeous millionaire nearly ten years my senior would ever look at me like that. I wanted it. But there were also plenty of days in my life when I wanted Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs to be real so I could just go stand outside and wait for mashed potatoes and gravy to come rain on me. Wanting it didn’t make me think it could actually happen.
Now it was and it was freaking me out.
Running away and starting a new life at the beach was more than a feeling. It would get me out of a lot of tense situations and would definitely separate me from having to think too deeply into whatever might be going on with Vince. But it would also distance me from the most important thing in my life. And that’s what stopped me. I couldn’t leave. If I did, I would lose all access to my son. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind Grant would use me leaving as leverage in our perpetual battle over Remy.
Like he pointed out at the coffee shop, we didn’t have any legal arrangements that guaranteed me visitation with my son. The courts expected I would be given access to him. It was understood Grant would allow me to participate in Remy’s life and we would co-parent. The custody agreement was only meant to dictate where he would physically spend his time. It also established that Grant could make decisions about him without having to consult with me.
I hated the way that sounded on the surface. It made me uncomfortable to know Grant didn’t even have to tell me when he was making major decisions about our child’s life. I had once thought it was important that he had that power. If it was a medical emergency or something serious happened and decisions needed to be made quickly, there wouldn’t be time for him to try to reach out to me. I would rather know Remy was going to get what he needed than to always have control.
Thinking about how much I had been manipulated and fooled made my skin crawl. It embarrassed me that I was so willing to just let them push me over and walk on me. I didn’t know how they convinced me I could trust them. I was never able to trust them before. But they pushed me into giving over control and just believing I would have plenty of time with my son. That wasn’t the way it worked out so far, and if I left Charlotte, it would be even worse. Grant would make every excuse not to bring him to see me or make him available for me to see.
There would be nothing I could do. Even if I somehow managed to go to court to fight for more visitation, he would bring up me moving. He would present it to the courts as me not caring about my son or being close to him. I would lose what little connection I had, and that was something I just wasn’t okay with.
Tossing aside my plans of escaping to the beach and possibly starting anew, I went into the bathroom and drew a bath. As the tub filled, I went back into the kitchen to get a glass of wine. If I couldn’t soothe my troubles in the waves, I might as well soak them away in a bubble bath.
A cap of my favorite body wash created lush foamy bubbles on the surface of the water. I spiraled my hair up onto my head and stepped into the steaming water, taking my wineglass with me. A few sips started to relax me, and I let my head fall back against the side of the tub. As my eyes closed, my mind filled with thoughts of Vince. I became very aware of my naked body in the hot water and the brush of the bubbles across my breasts. They teased my nipples, bringing them to a peak.
I groaned at the way my body tingled, my thighs trembling at the images of Vince swelling in my thoughts. Setting the wineglass aside, I let my hand slip down into the water as the other stroked across my breasts. My fingers found the soft skin of my inner thighs and ran along them to increase the heat rushing to my core.
Finally giving in to the desire, I traced my fingertips through my delicate folds. Pleasure tightened the muscles through my hips and thighs, and heat burned on my cheeks. I cried out as my climax hit me. When my body finally relaxed, I sank down further into the water and sighed.