“Hi,” I said. “How’s everything?”
“I am calling to ask you to come in today,” Charlie said.
“Right now isn’t good for me,” I told him. “I’m on my way to see Remy for a little while. But I can come in later if that still works for you.”
“Absolutely,” he said. “I look forward to seeing you.”
I got off the phone and didn’t even know if I said goodbye or not. My brain was too far away from me right that moment. I drove to Grant’s house on autopilot, not even realizing how far I’d gone until I pulled into his driveway. His car wasn’t there, but a tiny yellow compact stood in its place. When I got to the door, a bright-eyed woman opened it. She grinned out at me, not at all surprised to see me.
“Hello,” she said. “You must be Lindsey.”
“Yes,” I said.
She extended her hand. “I’m Isabelle. Remy’s nanny. Grant had to go into at the office for a little while, so I’m here to keep an eye on the little guy.”
“Oh,” I said. “It’s good to meet you.”
“You, too. Remy is just the sweetest thing. I love being here with him.”
“Thank you,” I said. “I think he’s pretty special, too.”
It was one of the most awkward conversations I’d ever had, even if I wasn’t just babbling out whatever words came to mind while struggling to think about anything but my visit to the doctor. I couldn’t wrap my head around the reality of it. As I walked in to see Remy, memories of him as a newborn rushed into my mind. I never thought I would have another child after him. He was such a surprise in my life, and I figured it would just be the two of us. Now I was facing down the reality of another surprise.
It wasn’t Grant’s this time, which I wanted to think of as a good thing. But I couldn’t help but dwell on the fact that Vince had ghosted me. Tears came to my eyes as I tried to process it all and figure out what was going to happen next.
But I couldn’t let myself do that right now. I was with Remy, and he was what mattered. We had a fun day together even if he was cranky with his cast and sling. A couple of hours later, his medicine sent him off to sleep, and I kissed him before leaving and making my way to the lawyer’s office. As I slid into a parking spot, I noticed a Jaguar already parked there. I knew that car. It belonged to Beatrice and Edgar Waters. But seeing that wasn’t as much of a surprise as Vince’s truck parked right beside it.
My stomach flipped over when I saw it. This whole day was just one big ball of ridiculous coming at me from the universe. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the onslaught to come.33VinceI thought the first couple of days avoiding Lindsey were going to be the hardest. As it turned out, it only got more difficult as the days went by. I wanted to call her. Every day I woke up thinking about her. There were a thousand little moments when I wanted to tell her something or ask her a question. But I stopped myself.
Every time I got close to picking up the phone, I remembered how it felt to stand there in the hospital. I remembered the way the anger bubbled up inside me when I heard my brother’s voice. Then I thought about Grant and the way he was trying to slide back into her life. Not that I could blame him. She was an amazing woman, and also the mother of his child.
But understanding his motivations to want her back didn’t mean I could accept it easily. The entire situation left me confused, angry, and overwhelmed. Maybe I should have ignored that first protective instinct when I saw her so upset at the bar all those weeks ago. If I had just pushed it down and not let myself think about it, I wouldn’t be struggling like this.
I still longed for Lindsey, but there was constantly a voice in the back of my head saying what I needed to be thinking about was what was right for her. Not what mattered to me. Her life wasn’t just hers. She had her son to think about. Even in the small amount of time I got to spend with him, I realized what a great little boy Remy was. At just three years old, he was smart and funny. He faced a life of adversity and challenge, but that didn’t seem to matter to him. He was just ready to live life however it came.
The accident with the porch was the perfect illustration of that. He had no fear, no desire to hide from the world just because it wasn’t the same for him that it was for everyone else. He should have a family surrounding him. Both his parents all the time rather than being at the center of conflict. And Lindsey deserved to just enjoy life and not have to deal with the stress and anxiety caused by battling her ex over visitation and custody.