Under My Enemy's Roof - Under Him

“What I’ve read is worse than that,” I proffered. “They’re saying this thing has an incubation period of two weeks or more. You can literally walk around for two weeks, not knowing you have it--- And spread it everywhere. And by that time, you’ve probably infected dozens of people.”

“That can’t be true,” insisted John. “That’s never--- No way!”

“I’m scared, John,” Zoe said, using it as an excuse to cuddle closer--- as if she needed one. “What if we go to a nice restaurant and the cook is sick or something?”

“What nice restaurant?” John asked. “We’re on campus. There’s plenty of food here.”

“Yeah, but we might go to a nice place on a date,” she said, making the not-so-subtle suggestion again. “The waiter could touch your plate or your bread.”

“And it can live on surfaces, like, for days,” I relayed. “You gotta check out some of the stuff they’re saying online.”

“I just got an alert,” Mickey announced. “Did anyone else get one? They’re closing the school.”

“What? That has to be a joke,” said John, getting out his phone.

We all got out our phones. Sure enough, we had each received the text. The college was going to close down for the rest of the semester due to the Coronavirus. They were gonna have us take classes over Zoom.

“This is bullshit,” I noted. “How am I going to do a science lab over Zoom?”

“Ha-ha!” cheered John. “I think I just aced all my music classes!”

“Baby, you would’ve aced them anyway,” Zoe encouraged him.

“Aw, this is fucked. Fucked!” I growled.

“Whoa, dude, chill,” said Mickey. “What’s the big deal?”

“My mother’s new husband,” I told them, annoyed. “My fucking mother leaves my dad for this guy--- And I’m just supposed to just suck it up and live with him. Can you imagine? I was so glad I could go to college and live on campus instead, but now I have to go back to that fucked-up situation.”

“That sucks, dude,” John said. “Could you live with your dad instead?”

“He’s broke and lives in a small studio apartment, so I gotta live with mom and Richard instead,” I sneered. “Fuckin’ jackwagon, this guy.”

“I know what that’s like,” Mickey sympathized. “My dad left my mom for this actress. Fuckin’ hot, but--- It was truly a dick move.”

“Relationships are such bullshit,” I spat.

“That’s not true,” Zoe said, defending them. “They can be a beautiful thing between two people.”

“Stay in your lane, babe,” John warned.

“No, seriously, don’t you want your mom to be happy?” she pressed.

“That’s not the point, Zoe,” I countered. “My dad is unhappy and paying out the ying-yang in alimony while my mom and Richard, fuck it. Who cares? I guess I don’t have to talk to him or his awful daughter.”

“Whoa, dude!” laughed Mickey. “You really hate this guy.”

“No, seriously, his daughter is really hot, but she was totally stuck up at the wedding,” I reported. “Her bridesmaid dress must have come with a stick to insert up her ass.”

“Was it a nice wedding?” asked Zoe.

The guys and I just looked at her.

“What? I like weddings,” Zoe shrugged.

“Can we just go to the dining hall, please?” I urged. “Guess this will be our last lunch for a while.”

We headed for the dining hall. The lines weren’t very long. Already, the student body was packing up and getting ready to leave and go home.

“Shit, this shutdown is for real,” said Mickey reading from his phone. “All classes are canceled after today. We have to go home by the end of this week!”

“How are you gonna do it?” I asked. “Didn't you ride with those football players last break?”

“Yeah, but that was a fluke,” he said. “They were only heading my way because of some special practice they had right after break. I guess I’m going to have to rent a car or something. I don’t want my mom driving all the way up here while a dangerous virus is spreading.”

“It’s surreal,” I said, grabbing a tray and moving with the line. “Tomorrow, we’ll be home. It’s like they shut the college faucet off.”

“Tch, yeah,” agreed Zoe. “And we were going to see that movie Saturday.”

“Oh, fuck, I forgot,” I frowned. “Great, now how am I going to see A Clockwork Orange on the big screen?”

“Just download it or whatever,” offered John.

“It’s not the same,” I lamented. “You Philistine.”

“So, what’s your new stepsister look like?” asked Mickey.

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t know. You said she was hot. You got a picture?”

“No, I don’t have a picture! Why would I take a picture of her when I hate her dad and don’t think very fondly of her personality, either?”

“You sound awfully defensive when all I wanted was to see a picture of her. Are you into her, dude?” asked Mickey, laughing a little.

“What? No! Don’t be insane!” I snapped.

“Well, you’re the one saying she’s hot,” joked John.