“Write it down. Say it to yourself over and over again even when it feels untruthful to do so.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
“It was a sad and tragic moment in your life, but you are not responsible.” He tapped his head. “Tattoo it onto your arm to remember.”
I cleared my throat.
“You have a question?”
“Why do I feel guilty, if I’m not responsible?”
“Human nature.”
“I don’t understand.”
His smile deepened. “We subconsciously resist so strongly the idea that we cannot control all the events of our lives. So much, that we would rather fault ourselves for a tragic occurrence than accept our inability to prevent it.”
Relief flowed through me.
“Basically, we don’t like admitting to ourselves that we’re only human. Instead, we would rather blame ourselves. It’s stupid, but we’re only human in the end. Remember that.”
I kept my voice low. “It wasn’t my fault.”
“It wasn’t.” He returned to writing in his notebook. “We’ll talk in two days and hopefully, I’ll hear from Jade too.”
“Yes.”
“And have a good, sexy session with Jade. It will be therapeutic. That’s your homework. I expect an essay on how it went.”
“O-kay.”
“Good day, Kamal.”
“Thank you.” I pressed the button.
The screen went blank.
Ross, is that really a doctor?
In the end, it didn’t matter. Two sessions with him and I’d begun feeling better. And one thing was for sure, I needed to tell Jade about my feelings for her.
I rose from my chair and left my home office.
Passing the living room, I spotted Ganesha lounging on the couch with Bebe. He was still healing. At first, he tried to move as if he had both legs. It took him a few days to figure out that things would be different for him until the cast was off.
I stopped and petted him. “How are you doing, buddy?”
He wagged his tail and went back to chewing on Bebe’s leg.
“You’ll be out of that cast soon.” I left him. “And your mom will be home this week.”
The Maldives had finally opened up their airport which meant that my sister and husband could come back to New York. Corey and I weren’t sure if it was the best thing to do or not. She was pregnant and the number of people infected in this city was rising. But Zora was tired of that damn resort. No matter what Corey, Jade, or I told her, she demanded to come home.
It will be alright. That’s all I can focus on. We will all be okay.
Thankfully, I had Jade by my side. Without her, I wouldn’t have been able to deal with all the tragedy in this world.
I’ll never let her go.
I headed to the back of the condo and then climbed the stairs, knowing that she would be in her studio creating.
On this level, Whitney Houston played. I grinned, walked to the studio, and sniffed a lovely aroma of something delicious.
Am I imagining things? She has food up here?
I stopped in front of her door and knocked. “Jade, are you busy? I wanted to talk to you for a few minutes.”
“Oh. No.” Noise sounded on the other side. “Don’t come in yet. Give me a minute.”
I quirked my brows. “O-kay.”
She called on the other side of the door. “You finished your tele-therapy session already?”
“Yes. It was good.”
“I’m glad.” She opened the door.
Shocked, I drank in the sexy black dress that hugged her body. “Damn. What’s the occasion?”
She smiled. “This is a special day.”
“It is?”
“We’ve been stuck together for over a month now.” She opened the door wide and gestured for me to come inside. “Welcome to our anniversary.”
She’d scattered lit candles around the space. A table sat in the center with two plates. Each one had a paneelle and croquette special sandwich from Ferdinando’s with tomato sauce on the side and her famous homemade chips.
I stepped inside. “Jade. . .”
“Are you hungry?”
“Jade, this is fucking amazing.” I tenderly grabbed and pulled her to me. “I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I was just thinking this as I walked up here and—”
“I’m lucky to have you.”
I gazed at the love of my life, drowning in her compassion. “Things have been weird these past weeks. There’s been no sex. I wasn’t sure if you were okay with it.”
“We’ve been through a lot. You’ve been through a lot.”
“But, have I been there for you?”
“Definitely, Kamal.” She gestured to the packed studio. “Are you kidding me? You brought all my art here. Because of you, I have a series to put out after this pandemic. Most important, sculpting helps me stay sane.”
“Then, you should teach me how to sculpt.”
She winked. “I’m glad you said that.”
“Why?” I tried to kiss her.
She moved away and guided me to the other side of the room. There were two blocks on a long table with carving tools all around them. “After we eat, I’m going to teach you how to sculpt today.”