“I was ten,” I start, anger blossoming in my chest at the thought of what my father did to me and my brother. She stops but doesn’t look over her shoulder. “My dad brought me and my brother on a ride with him when I was ten years old and had me dig a grave. I didn’t know who the body was, it was wrapped up. I was just excited to finally be in on a job with my dad. He forced Romeo to bury the body, and we left.” She turns, her eyes filled with tears.
“I didn’t know that man was your dad, not until the other day,” I tell her honestly. If I knew I would have told her.
She looks down, a tear slipping down her face.
“Do you know how long I hoped he was alive?” she sobs, and my fingers curl into my palm, itching to go to her and soothe her hurt. But I also want to kill my fucking father for putting me and my brother in the position he did. We were mere fucking kids.
“He wants me out, and Romeo in, it’s the only reason he’s doing all of this,” I continue and she shakes her, I can tell she believes that part.
“Where- where is my father?” Raising her chin, she looks at me with a sense of bravery. Fuck, I don’t even remember it was so long ago. It was out in the middle of nowhere. I remember the woods.
I shrug. “I was ten, I don’t know.” It was on an island, some park I think. I rack my brain trying to remember any detail I can.
She nods, sniffling.
Pulling out my phone I open Google Maps and zoom in on the area I think we buried him.
“Staten Island, in the woodlands,” I tell her, and she sits down next to me, taking the phone from me to see for herself. She zooms in. As she’s looking at the phone, I glance at her neck, the softness, the way it felt beneath my lips. I want her again, but she hates me. I don’t want her unless she’s coming undone at my fingertips like before. It wouldn’t be the same to imprison her.
She looks up to me.
“I want you to dig him up. I want to give him a proper burial, Kieran.” Her words beg of me, cutting me deep and making me feel worse for her than I did before. All I can think of is a little girl without her father because of me. If I could take it all back I would, but I can’t. I can at least do this for her. Her eyes shift to the side as if she can’t even look at me, glossing over until she blinks and tears cascade down her cheeks.
I’ve always accepted the label of being an asshole, a monster, someone who wasn’t normal and I never apologize for it but right now. I just feel like a piece of shit and want nothing more than to take her breaking heart and replace it with my cold steal of a soul.
Cracking my neck, I take the phone from her and text Romeo to come over. He’s not going to like this, that night was terrible for him and it’s only going to bring it all back. But he’s grown over the years, maybe he will surprise us. If not, I’m fully capable of digging this body up myself.
“I’ll do this, but I need to know that you know I was just a kid, Leona.” I am trying to make her understand that I’m sorry, but I didn’t know what I was doing. How can I truly be sorry for something my father put me up to?
“Let’s just go,” she mutters and stands. Her shoulders drawn like she can’t hold the world on her back a second more. The tension and awkwardness between us making me feel uneasy, I go change into some jeans and a shirt. If I’m digging, I don’t want to wear my best clothes. She steps up to my bed and I hesitate changing, my dick stiffening at the thought of peeling that ridiculous blue dress off her and taking her on that bed. Maybe that’s what she needs, a good fucking to remember who the hell I am. I may not be marrying her, but she’s still mine. I’m just being a gentleman and giving her time to cool down and come to her senses before I really have to put my foot down and piss her off.
Like I said, I don’t want to imprison her, but if it’s the only way I can keep her… then I fucking will.LeonaSitting in the back seat of Romeo’s Navigator, we travel all the way to Staten Island. The seats are leather and smell new, the stereo off and silence thickening the air. I catch Kieran staring at me often, every time I look into the rearview mirror those ice-blue eyes are looking at me and every time my heart stops beating for a split second until I look away. Can I be with someone who killed my father? I mean, he was a kid and was manipulated by his father. But still… it feels wrong to want to be with him. A half hour later we’re pulling into a wooded area, the lights of the Navigator leading the way, I don’t think I’ve ever been to this part of Staten Island. It’s rural and beautiful. Romeo parks and both of the guys get out. Opening my own door I notice my palm is sweaty, my nerves are on edge and I don’t know if I’m ready to see what I’m about to see. My heels stick into the dirt, the smell of trees and the sound of animals in the woods making me look all around. Lifting one leg at a time, I take my shoes off and toss them in the car. The bottom of my dress dragging amongst the earth rich soil. I dressed up because I wanted to look good when I saw Kieran, I don’t know what I was expecting, but coming to bury up my dead father wasn’t one of them.