“What happened earlier…” she started and then stopped. “It… well, it was unexpected, but amazing. When my marriage ended, the only thing I could focus on was giving Liv the best life possible. I want her to grow up smiling, laughing, living for the moment and planning for the future, enjoying everything, and not sweating over the small things. I also needed time to put everything behind me in my mind, and it’s still early days, but I’m tired of telling myself that I have to switch off my feelings for you in order to do that.” Without meaning to, my arm squeezed her tighter into my side hearing this. “I meant what I said earlier, though, all of it. None of us are to blame, and I’m tired of everyone carrying guilt because they didn’t do something about it.” I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be able to do that, or if it would just take me time to get to there, but I was smart enough not to voice this out loud. She’d gotten so pissed earlier – albeit in the most adorable and hilarious way – and I didn’t want to break the moment we were having together right now. Pushing herself up with one hand on the couch, and the other one braced against my chest, she looked at me seriously. “We need to take it slowly because there’s more than just the two of us involved in this, but I want to try.”
The words sounded so unsure, and I knew what she was trying to say, but this wasn’t a ‘try’ kind of situation. Cupping her jaw with my hand, I pulled her closer to me and held her eyes, showing her how serious I was. “We won’t be ‘trying’, Jose. We’re taking those slow steps together, and we’re going to build something beautiful.”
I watched as she started chewing on her lower lip and then shut her eyes slowly as she digested what I’d just said. Obviously, she got to where she needed to be, because when she opened them back up again this time she was grinning. “Something more solid than my former house you mean?”
In all the scenarios I’d had of how this moment would play out, none of them involved her house being tree-bombed, and none of them involved me laughing so hard that I gave myself a stitch. That’s how it happened, though, and there was no arguing with serendipity when it meant getting this result. Tipping my head back down to look at her, I was still laughing when I said, “Abso-fuckin’-lutely!”
Finally, fucking finally.Jose
Two days later…It had been two days since Armageddon happened to my home, and two days since the big decision had been made. True to our word, we were taking it slowly and easing our way into a relationship. This mainly consisted of kisses, longer hugs with a kiss, things like that, and so far, it was oh, so good. Right now, I was folding laundry with my sister after filling her in on it all, and feeling a bit sad about the fact that Liv was growing out of the clothes on my lap.
“So, that’s all that happened?” she sounded disappointed as she asked. “I’d been expecting sheet melting activities, or at least something bigger.”
“Nope, that’s all that happened,” I assured her. “And now we’re just going to take things slowly and let them grow.”
Throwing the fitted sheet, she’d been folding onto the floor in frustration, she rooted through the pile of laundry, and pulled out a pillowcase instead. “Well, I can’t say I’m genuinely disappointed about it. If y’all had just jumped from zero to one hundred, you’d probably panic, and you’ve got strong reasons for that potential panic so it would have made you reconsider what you were doing.” She was right on the money with that one because I totally would. “Then again, I don’t think he’d have let it go down like that anyway, because Ellis is a wise guy and would know it would cause you problems afterward.” Again, the wisdom was strong in this one today. Finishing with the pillowcase, she picked up one of Liv’s t-shirts and started folding that now. “I’m happy for both of you, Jose.”
Looking up from picking up the fitted sheet that she’d thrown on the floor, I noticed she looked close to tears. “Why are you crying?”
Blowing out a breath, she looked up at the ceiling and tried to get her shit together. “I’m just glad you’re giving it a chance. It feels like life is coming together for both of us after getting hit so hard by bad shit, and I’m relieved. And then I feel sad because Mom isn’t here to see it happen, and that just sucks.” Putting the sheet to the side, I reached over and took her hand, feeling it shaking. “Honey.”