All I ask now, and I know I have no right to ask anything, is that you think on it and talk it through together. I also ask that you keep in mind that, shock aside – this is the biggest honor I’ve ever received in my life, knowing that you both exist. I never once thought I’d have that honor with Tabby, and now I find out that the gift has been out there twice? I hope this makes sense, but the privilege of being a father (in name only, which I hope we can change after I earn your forgiveness) is a gift, one that I would like to be able to finally enjoy. I hope that the shocked, but so very happy, ramblings of this old man make sense to you.
With love and regards, Burt Roberts.I finished reading it before Tabby, so I sat back and mulled it all over while she finished. He was right, shock was a huge factor in all of this, and it felt like I had a wall that the words in the message were being deflected off of. I was going between cautious happiness that he wanted to talk to us, resentment, anger, fear, cautious happiness again, and it was like an emotional blender. They whirled around, shredded themselves up, and then mixed into a big old lumpy bowl of emotional baby food.
Then Tabby said words that made complete sense as she came up with the best idea ever. “I’m going to call Dave to come and watch Liv. We need alcohol, lots of alcohol.”Ellis
Seven hours later…I knew Jarrod was walking her home, but the wait for Jose to get here was hell. DB had watched Liv until I’d finished work four hours ago, but there had been a huge crash just outside of Piersville so he was called out, meaning I couldn’t go to Shivas where the girls were. Jose had called after Tabby had broken the news, her voice completely void of emotions as she gave me a rundown of the conversation with Wylda and the message from Burt. I didn’t know how I’d react in their shoes because, hand to God, you couldn’t ever say for sure what you’d do until you were in that situation. I wasn’t even sure how I’d react if I found out I had another sibling out there, so Jose and Tabby were a bit of a revelation and an enigma all rolled into one for me. But I was worried about Jose and how she was feeling and wanted her home so I could see for myself that she was ok.
She’d sent me screenshots of the message he’d sent Tabby for both of them, and I was pissed at the whole situation. From what I knew about Wylda, she wasn’t exactly picky with men, so technically he had a reason for not being part of Jose’s life. That wasn’t what I was pissed about, though. I was pissed that he hadn’t been in her life at all, and that she’d been left with an uncaring bitch, which she proved with her reaction to Jose’s phone call, and only caring about money and herself. When I thought about it carefully, I wasn’t pissed at Burt for his actions, it pissed me off that Jose was going through this at all, especially after what she’d gone through with Larry. The biggest issue right now was getting Jose through this by supporting her and helping her through the emotions that were going to hit. And I was frustrated that I wasn’t doing that right now. I didn’t begrudge a second of the time I spent with Liv, especially seeing as how she’d been a cuddly smoocher tonight, but I felt off balance not being able to get a fix on what was going through Jose’s head right now.
And that’s when I heard a noise outside, one that sounded like the worst karaoke ever mixed with Barry White. Getting up and opening the door, I watched as Jose and Jarrod walked up the drive – or more like Jarrod supporting Jose up the drive – as she sang Living On A Prayer.
Breaking off with her head thrown back as she belted out the chorus, with one arm raised up in the air, she hiccupped and snorted at the same time. “You’re right, the music gets it out. I just had in the brain in my head,” she pointed at her head, narrowly missing her eye, “you knew lots of songs, ya know? How many do you know?”
Jarrod went to take another step forward, but Jose had bent over and tried to pick a piece of gravel out of the concrete. “I’m not sure, but music was something I grew up with. My grandmother lived with us, and apparently the first song that got me to stop crying was Swing Low, Sweet Chariot which was playing on a radio in the hospital on a Sunday prayer station. She used to sing it to me all the time when I wouldn’t settle after that, so it’s comforting for me.”