“What exactly needs to be done?”
“I think he needs his nuts cut off,” she said bluntly, shocking the shit out of me. “He’s an indoor cat who can’t go out at all because of his breed, so he was potty trained from the second it was okay to do it. He also has a fuck ton of toys and trees to scratch on because he extorts them from me,” she mumbled the last bit, fiddling with the strap of her purse. “Anyway, I got him and the dogs at the same time, and I had Levi’s friend help me train them all to accept each other. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, and on the whole they all get along well so long as they stick within each other’s boundaries.”
Glancing over at her, I saw her nibbling on her lower lip. “So…?”
Throwing her arms up and hitting the roof, she snapped, “He keeps pissing everywhere. No, not everywhere, but in certain places. I can’t leave the cupboard near the front door open because he gets in and pees in boots. Not sneakers, but three hundred dollar boots. He also does it in the bathroom sink, which wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t brush my teeth and wash my face there. It’s unsanitary! Then he peed in the flour.”
“The flour?” I choked, the car swerving slightly with it.
“Yeah, the flour I bought to make bread. I found an awesome recipe online for this Spanish bread and imported the flour because we couldn’t get it here. He not only peed but took a poop in it, too.”
“And getting him neutered will stop that?”
“That’s what I’m going to ask tomorrow. If it will, then I’ll book it, but I really don’t want to put him through the pain of it. I feel so guilty even taking him for a consult, like the worst mother in the world.”
No, that title went to my stepmom, but then I guess she didn’t count as a ‘mother.’
Shifting slightly in my seat at that thought, I focused back on her problem. “A majority of pet owners have their pets neutered, and pet rescue places insist on doing it before they’ll adopt the animal out. What you’re doing doesn’t amount to animal cruelty.”
“Yeah, it does. I’m doing it because I don’t want him peeing and shitting in weird places.”
“That’s why a lot of owners do it,” I shrugged as I took the turning to where we were going, hoping she didn’t realize what I had planned. There were a lot of things and places in the direction we were going, but you could never tell where a Townsend’s mind would go.
Her silence continued as I stopped at the next set of lights, so I turned and saw her gnawing away on her bottom lip.
“What’s playing on your mind, Ari?”
“I guess,” she paused, then exhaled loudly. “The control thing you told me about. I’m not good at giving up control in any way. It’s just not something that comes naturally to me.”
“That’s because you’re thinking of power loss or the dominant and submissive approach to a relationship, which isn’t what I mean. I meant a temporary exchange of power—one where I’m in control of what’s happening between us sexually.”
Her response was instant. “I can’t do that. I don’t have a submissive side to me, so I wouldn’t be able to just give up my power like that.”
“I don’t want you to. I want you to trust me to do what feels good to you and to not think about it unless it’s something that’s causing you pain—which I would never do to anyone—or making you uncomfortable. I don’t want to embarrass you or demean you, and I don’t want a slave. Far from it.”
“So, you’re not talking about whipping me?”
“Fuck no. Nothing I do to you ever would cause you pain. I’d hate myself if I ever did that.” The thought turned my stomach. “I want you to just focus on what I’m doing to you when we’re in bed—or a place of our choosing—together. Just clear your mind and trust me.”
“You keep saying when and talking like it’s guaranteed. You’re that confident?” she asked, a small smile on her face now, which helped settle the anxiety I’d been feeling. Explaining and describing what I needed was difficult, but hopefully she trusted me enough to do her right.
Reaching over, I lifted her hand and linked my fingers with hers, resting them on my thigh as I drove.
“Confident, no. Hopeful and determined, yes.”
“So, no whips or chains?”
“No.”
“No gags or masks?”
“Fuck no. I want to be able to hear the noises you’re making and see your beautiful face.”
“You’re not going to embarrass me or humiliate me?” she pressed.
“I’d rather cut my leg off than do that to you ever,” I said seriously, meaning every word.