Ah, fuck. Her family were going to kill me.
Gesturing behind him with his thumb, Sean narrowed his eyes on her. “You’re going to adopt them, ain'tcha?”
By this point, Gaynor was under Ari’s t-shirt and was pushing her face against it like a fucked up version of Alien. Every time she pressed forward, I could see her face perfectly, except it was covered with pale pink material. Now that was nightmare inducing Hollywood shit right there.
Apparently Sean thought the same thing because he shuddered.
“Can we go and see the pygmy?” she asked, not realizing what was going on with the goat in her arms.
Knowing I couldn’t let it happen without getting a video of it for her brothers and cousins, I pulled my phone out. “One sec, don’t move a muscle. I just want to get this.”
So, while she discussed Gaynor and the other goat’s diets and care—as well as mentioning her cat and the dogs to him—I recorded the goat’s face pushing out and retreating, then pushing out with its mouth wide open before retreating again. On the last one, she bleated her ‘will survive,’ and then her head disappeared only to pop out at the bottom of the t-shirt.
“I think this one was born a Townsend,” I muttered, ending the recording.
To another family, being compared to a weird goat might offend them, but Ari was proud of it.
“What was she doing?” she asked, leaning over my shoulder to see my phone.
So, with Gaynor’s head in the crook of my elbow as she watched with us—if goats watched movies—I played it for her.
“It’s like a horror movie,” I chuckled, watching it all over again as she snickered beside me.
Before she could answer, Gaynor launched herself out of Ari’s arms so that she had her stomach on my forearm and her head on my chest, slightly freaking me out. I really was shit with anything that wasn’t a patient or an adult. All the kids and animals I’d really been around were of the Townsend variety. There were roughly five thousand Townsend offspring walking the lands of Texas, and each one was enough to put an average human off having kids. Their animals were just as bad.
Warily reaching up to her head, I scratched it with my index finger, a smile twitching on my lips when she closed her eyes and sighed.
“She likes you,” Sean chuckled, seeing how stiff I was.
“Huh.”
Still, I scratched away, moving my finger as she tilted her head to guide me to where she wanted me to be.
“What are you thinking?” Ariana whispered, smiling up at me like I was a goat whisperer or something.
“That your nephews and nieces and your cousins' kids are a good example of why people shouldn’t reproduce.” That would have been a great thought not to say out loud, unfortunately it just came out.
Freezing, she stared at me in shock while Sean held onto the wall and laughed his ass off loudly. All the while, I scratched away at that goat’s head like I was digging myself a tunnel with one finger, waiting for her to stab me with its hoof.
Finally, she reacted, and not how I expected. “You’re right. I have to take Benadryl before I babysit because they give me so much anxiety I get palpitations. Benadryl relaxes me and makes me mellow enough to survive it.” I wasn’t sure that was a good idea—in fact, I knew it wasn’t—but okay. “I even told the principal of the high school I’d get him footage of them to show his students for sex ed so they’d understand the consequences of having unprotected sex…” she paused, leaving both of us waiting for what he said.
When she didn’t finish, Sean guessed, “He’s asking for permission from the school board, isn’t he?”
Nodding, she put Gaynor on the ground and stood up. “Yup. He agrees it would be the best form of birth control or safe sex advertisement.”
Clearing his throat and shooting me an amused look, he waved his hand out of the enclosure. “Want to go see the pygmy?”
Nodding excitedly, Ariana said goodbye and gave a promise to come and get her soon to Gaynor, and then followed behind him, leaving me to close the gate and apologize when the goat looked up at me like I was leaving her on the side of the road.
“I’ll be back,” I told it, getting a baleful baaaa/’will survive’ back. “I promise!” Baaaa. “As soon as your doctor says it’s ok, I know she’ll be back for you and I’ll come with her.” Baaaa.
This time, she added a headbutt to the gate, making me worry she was going to give herself a traumatic brain injury.
With a groan, I opened the gate again and picked her up, awkwardly trying to figure out how I was meant to hold her. I started to hold her with my arms outright so she was far away from my body, but then she leaned her head onto my hand and stared at me like I was a heartless asshole. Remembering how Ari had held her, I moved her so she was against my chest and moved over to where they were now looking down at a tiny little grey goat who was bleating at them.