“Hey,” she snapped, looking offended. “I’m not only inventive, but my names are awesome.”
Throwing his arm around his wife’s shoulders, holding his daughter Rebel in the other one, Tate nuzzled her neck. “I love the names you pick.”
He was lying out of his ass. He’d vetoed getting any more pets because of the shit she came up with, and I had it from reliable sources he was already dreading any future kids’ names.
“Didn’t you name a chicken KFC?” Sadie asked.
“No,” she replied slowly. “I called it King Ferdinand, the Chicken.”
Sadie blinked. “So… it is called KFC, then.”
“The other one’s called Bojangles,” Beau supplied helpfully, getting chuckles from everyone apart from Sadie, Tate, and Lily.
Looking confused, Sadie asked, “Like the song?”
“No, like the chicken restaurant.”
Shaking her head, Sadie looked over at Parker, who was now twirling a strand of hair from my ponytail around his finger. “I see why you don’t want her to name your babies.” Then she pointed to Lily. “You’re a sick, sick woman naming your chickens after chicken restaurants. I didn’t even know there was one called Bojangles.”
Tate stiffened and glared at Parker. “You knocked my sister up?”
“What are you talking about?” Parker asked, sounding as confused as I was.
“She said something about Lily naming your babies,” he gestured with his head at Sadie.
Ohhh!
Wanting to watch Parker talk himself out of this, I grinned when he shifted from one foot to the other, a nervous movement from a man who always acted like nothing phased him.
“Goat kids.”
Frowning, my brother tried to make sense of this. “Goat kids?” Then his face went dark as something occurred to him. “Are you trying to tell me you’re into some fucking sick kinky shit?”
As always, Sadie broke the tension with something bizarre. It was her superpower. “You know how kids are yelling out yeet just now when they throw stuff?”
All of us turned looked at her questioningly, but she was unphased by the intense glares and stares focused on her, including my cousin’s.
“Well, the definition of the word yeet is actually goat porn. So when kids use it like whatever it is they’re talking about is being thrown through the air, it’s technically porking a goat.”
“How do you know this shit?” Elijah asked, looking even more intrigued by the little Brit now.
Shrugging, she leaned on the counter, her boobs looking uncomfortable as the sharp edge of it pressed into them. “You learn things when you go online. Granted it’s weird stuff that’ll probably never be useful, but in this case, it was. Now we all know what yeeting is.” Waving her hand at Parker and me, she added, “Now you may continue to discuss whether you’re yeeting with those poor babies or not.”
And just when I thought the attention was off the disgusting subject, my brother’s focus was back onto it.
“Y’all are yeeting?”
“Fuck no,” Parker growled. “I took Ari to see goat babies at the farm, and now she’s the proud mother of two of them.”
Looking at Lily, he sighed. “Yeah, you’re not naming the poor little boogers.”
If the glare she gave him was anything to go by, my brother’s life was going to be uncomfortable until he took the words back. Realizing this also, he escaped quickly over to the rest of my family, leaving her killing him with her eyes.
“Just out of interest,” Sadie murmured, leaning closer to Lily. “What would you have named them?”
Without even pausing to think about it, she listed, “Bleatus and Billy.”
Looking slightly disappointed, Sadie asked, “Why Billy?”
“Billy the Kid,” Lily explained, using a ‘duh’ tone.
While Sadie and I burst out laughing, both Elijah and Parker groaned—one thunking his head on the countertop, the other one praying to the ceiling for help for his fucked up family.
ParkerThe Townsend family might seem overwhelming to an outsider, but when you’re part of it, it was like being in subzero temperatures with a thick blanket keeping you warm.
The security, reliability, stability, loyalty, and knowledge that you weren’t alone... After my childhood, it was everything.
And it came with Ariana.
“So, you and my princess,” Hurst murmured as he pushed his empty plate away from him.
How the man didn’t get indigestion from the spicy nacho tower he’d just eaten, I didn’t know, but he was a total anomaly. Then again, I’m fairly certain his whole family were anomalies to the medical field and all forms of science.
Still, I might have known him for almost my whole life, but I didn’t want him to start hating me now, so I held that observation back.
“Yes, sir.”
“Thank shit for that. Took you long enough to grow a set and man up but can’t say I’m not over the fucking moon you finally got some balls and went for it.” His words were both unexpected and not at the same time. “She’s going to ruin you before you get her to commit, but that girl is the best prize any man could ever get.”