He went to open his mouth to say something, but I picked up the wooden spoon from the counter beside me and lightly tapped him on the side with it. “I have more to say, Knight. You need to see that the changes you’ve made are for you, not me. Aren’t you happier? Don’t you feel that bit lighter? When you run outside, is the air cleaner? Tell me, I really want to know!”
I was pretty much panting by the end of my speech, images of me painting my face blue and screaming “Freedom” like Mel Gibson in Braveheart going through my mind. So I never expected him to do what he did next.
Reaching out, he hooked his arm around my waist and pulled me into him with so much force that a squeak came out of me, while the wooden spoon went flying through the air, hitting him on the head, then falling to the ground.
“Fuck, but you’re amazing, baby. And you’re right, I do feel happier and lighter. Therapy isn’t a cure-all, but I can see what happened more clearly, and I’m starting to put it behind me so that I can move forward. What I hadn’t done was thought about me deserving to be this person. I thought I was doing it for you.”
Rising onto my toes, I gave him a soft kiss on the chin and then dropped back down again. What girl wouldn’t like to hear that they’re amazing? Not this one.
“Parker, if there’s anything I learned from where my mind was at as a kid, it’s to know your worth. Everyone has a value to the world, it’s how they use the value that makes them what they are in it. Chantal used it to terrorize you and molest you, which decreased her value. You’ve wandered for years, not knowing what yours was for, but now you’re starting to see it, so you need to recognize it, too.”
His eyes went unfocused as he thought about it and then nodded. “You’re right, baby. When did you get so smart?”
“Probably around the time I stopped spending so much time with my family,” I snickered. I mean, it could have stunted my smartness’ growth, right?
“And if I start recognizing my value, will you go back to gaming?” he asked softly, hitting me with a whammy of a question.
I knew my face had shut down and that my body had tensed up, but I couldn’t help it. “I’m past that point in my life, Parker.”
Cupping my face in both hands, he pulled me up to meet him halfway. “No, you’re not. And I’m going to let you in on a secret, are you ready?” Nodding, I waited and braced. “The nerdy gaming Ariana Townsend was fucking hot. I miss her.”
Gulp. Definitely remembering to pack more panties next time.
“Really?” I breathed, hoping he wasn’t bullshitting me.
“Really. And I’d really like my nerdy, sexy gaming girl back.”
He watched the smile slowly growing on my mouth closely. “I think I know where all the stuff is.”
I was lying out of my ass. It was in my old office at the Townsend Oil operations building, only five minutes from my house. It was also all wrapped and boxed carefully, just in case someone knocked it. Just because I thought it would make more of the woman I’d assumed he’d wanted didn’t mean I wanted any harm to come to it.
“Then how about after we go and collect Gaynor and Sneezy tomorrow, we head to wherever you think it is and bring it home?”
That sounded like the best day of my life.
“Deal!”Things had relaxed between us after that. I think one of the worst things to know would have been that he’d had sex with random women—or even just with the woman in the photos—after our night together. Sure, nothing had happened between us, but it’d eaten away at me. Knowing he hadn’t, I felt lighter and more secure. Would I tell him this? Fuck no, I didn’t want to look like a sad sack.
We’d discussed our days a bit more, then the conversation had turned toward the goats. The animal behavioralist had confirmed that things were okay between the dogs and the goats after she’d watched them interact over the last couple of weeks, which was great news. Because Jerry continued to just live in his little world, she recommended that we try them together at home instead of taking him out of his comfort zone.
The keyword was try.
If it turned out that they couldn’t all be together, we’d look at building an extension onto the house that’d be designed especially for them. Basically, I was keeping Gaynor and Sneezy regardless, it was just the how and where that was dependent on what happened between them and Hanky and Panky.
This week, my brothers had redone the fence for the enclosed space of my yard, and they’d built a large shed—one that came in a box because it was quicker—for the goats. We’d ordered a kids activity pirate ship and some tires for them, too.