Forbidden Gold (Providence Gold 5)

His eyes narrowed as he watched me, his brain ticking away. “Mental health and problems like it aren’t a competition, and I keep hearing you make it out like yours mean less than mine—”

“No,” I interrupted him. “The cause of the problems is petty in comparison to yours. Surely you can understand that.”

“No, I can’t. Problems affect people in different ways, and what doesn’t affect one person can cause huge issues for another. Take social media and the effects of bullying on it. Some people can withstand it, take the hits, and shrug it off without suffering. Others can’t. We don’t get to decide what affects us, Ari, or how it affects us. Other people in my situation might’ve been able to just lock the door at night with Dale in the room and not give a fuck. I couldn’t. They might have dropped it when they moved out, but it’s made me careful about who I trust to the point there aren’t many people I do trust.”

Damn it, he was making too much sense. He was also telling me something I’d thought about but then tucked away in a little bag.

“I know you’re trying to be supportive, baby, but you’ve got to also stop looking at your own issues as petty or less. You’re supporting me and helping me through it all, and I’m doing the same to you. That’s how relationships work.”

Blowing out a breath, I nodded and gave myself a mental kick in the ass. “You’re right. I just sometimes look at it and think how silly it was to be so affected by something like that.”

Rolling so that he was lying on top of me, he lifted a hand and ran his thumb along the hair above my ear, his eyes watching it move. “It kills me that you ever looked at yourself as less, because the Ariana Townsend I knew back then definitely didn’t need to make the changes you made. That said, I love that you’re happy with how you look now, and I want that happiness to continue.” Then his eyes moved so that they were staring directly into mine. “I also think it’d be a crying shame for you not to pass your beauty onto a child of your own, but if that’s what you really want, then that’s your choice. But I want you to think about it and maybe speak to your therapist again, okay? There’s always adoption as another option because your beauty doesn’t just start and end on the outside. Making final decisions like that can lead to regrets, and I’m a firm believer in life being too short for regrets.”

Nodding, I took on board what he’d just said. “It doesn’t really apply to life right now, but when it starts to, I’ll go and see him again.”

“Good,” he said through a smile and then started to slide down me, stopping when he got to my crotch.

“What are you doing?” I snickered, tugging the t-shirt back down when he lifted it.

“Checking out these panties. I want to memorize every detail on them.”

“That’s today’s excuse. What’s tomorrow’s going to be?”

“It’s going to be a celebration of bringing Gaynor and Sneezy home, and you going to get your gaming shit from where it’s hidden.”

Just the reminder of both of those things was exciting, but adding onto it that he was going to be doing this all over again tomorrow? Hell, I’d order underwear every day for him to memorize.

“I feel a celebratory underwear order coming on,” I warned him, chuckling when he looked excited at the prospect.

“Can I help pick?”

“You can do whatever you want!”

Those were famous last words because that’s what he proceeded to do and blow my mind twice. The last thoughts I had as I fell asleep curled up beside him was that I might even look at other underwear sites if he enjoyed them that much.ThirteenParkerIt’d been four days since we’d collected Gaynor and Sneezy. Ariana had been tense as she watched Hanky and Panky play with them in the house, but it was quickly evident they didn’t have an issue with the new additions. Far from it! Those two little hellions loved it, and the four slept in a tight ball of canines and goats at night. Heck, for the first time since things had changed between Ari and me, I’d seen Jerry moving around the house. And I can’t even describe how bizarre it was to come back from a midnight bathroom trip to find him standing on top of Gaynor, doing that cat kneading thing on his back.

That wasn’t the only change in the cat, either. At three o’clock this morning, I’d woken up to a bizarre sensation on my crotch. Initially I’d thought it was Ariana, but when I felt the sharp pricking that accompanied it, I’d slammed my hand down on the button on the lamp beside my head to make sure no one was in the room with us. Turns out, Jerry had been doing the same thing he did on the goats to me. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, slightly used in some ways, so I was avoiding thinking about it. Ari found it hilarious, but I seriously couldn’t even look him in the eye now.