“Nice, no one thought about the cripple,” Sadie huffed, but the smile on her face as her dad rolled his eyes proved she was just messing around.
Now, the smile on Elijah’s face said he was serious about something. Her.
“Hey, Parker?” Sadie asked, awkwardly sitting down next to Dale and me, anxiously wringing her hands together.
She looked pale and like she was in pain. “Are you okay? is it your leg?”
“No, no,” she replied quickly, her eyes darting from me to Dale and back again. “I just... I wanted to...” she broke off with a pained sigh.
Picking up his beer, Dale motioned at the other end of the bar. “I can leave y’all to talk if that’s—"
Clearing her throat, she took a deep breath and straightened her spine. “No, this concerns you, too, I think, Dale. I just wanted to say something. I heard what they were saying about you that day,” she cringed, looking at me sadly. “Ariana knows my story, but I wanted to tell both of you some of it, so you know I understand.”
“You don’t have to, Sadie. I appreciate you offering, but—"
Cutting me off like she’d done to Dale, she squared her shoulders and proceeded to blow both of our minds. She always acted so confident and self-assured, but hearing what had happened, the years of anxiety and panic attacks, and what brought her here... It blew my fucking mind.
At the end of it, Dale had finished both our beers and was wearing the same expression that I knew I was.
“I’m telling you this because I knew something about you that I know can make you feel uncomfortable around people who know the story. I understand those feelings. I also know what it’s like to have what I was told is called ‘survivor’s guilt.’ Other women didn’t get to escape what I did, and even though I’m so relieved I wasn’t...” she broke off, rubbing her arms like she was cold or just needed the comfort. “Even though he didn’t succeed with me, I still feel guilty that I was spared what they had done to them. I figured if you knew my story, it’d help both of you maybe not look at me like I was dangerous to your safety.”
Jesus Christ, until she said it, I hadn’t realized that was an issue for me, but she was right. Part of my problem in the last three weeks had been precisely that.
“Thank you, Sadie. I’ve been feeling off since it happened.”
Smiling sadly at me, she nodded slowly. “I get it, and I also get how you feel as well, Dale.”
Not having any words, Dale moved swiftly and was hugging her before I could even process what he was doing.
“Thanks, sweet Sadie. That means a lot!”
Over her head, I could see Elijah watching my brother with narrowed eyes, but when he looked at me, he just flared his nostrils and nodded, looking satisfied we hadn’t upset her.
Pulling away from him, she tucked a chunk of her pale blonde hair behind her ear with a shaky hand. “I also want you to understand that I know how vulnerable it makes you feel, so I wanted to give that back to you to hopefully help you settle. Ari said you’d had nightmares and been off since it happened, and I knew part of it would be because of that. It also goes without saying that your story is safe with me, and if either of you ever need anything...” she trailed off and braced like she was expecting us to shoot her down or laugh in her face.
And it was at that precise moment that I saw what Ari and her family must have seen when they met her—she was wounded inside. I wasn’t as astute as they were, so it’d taken me longer to see it, but now I was wondering how I hadn’t before. Maybe it was the confident woman persona she put on? Perhaps it was the fact she acted like she was made out of titanium? But I felt like shit for not seeing it.
I also felt bad about her bracing the way she was. That came from experience, not just fear. She’d gone through close to what I had in all the ways I’d gone through them. Mother fucker!
Glancing at Dale, I knew from the grim expression that he felt it too. Both of us reached out at the same time and surrounded her in a double hug.
“I’ll do that, honey, and I just want to let you know, too, that your secret’s safe with us.”
“Means a lot you’d share it with us, Sadie,” Dale murmured. “You’re first on my list if I need someone to talk to.”
Wiping under her eyes, she pulled away slightly. “We’re like the three musketeers, eh?” She snickered.
And I realized all over again how lucky me and my brother were. The before had been so ugly, and I felt like we were drowning. The now made it easy to breathe and was so far from ugly there wasn’t a name for it.