And the betrayal of the woman – admittedly beautiful woman – beside me, passing out so she didn’t have to do it. Granted, she couldn’t have helped it, but would it have killed the guy she was attached to, to just do it? She could have woken up halfway down and still crossed it off her bucket list even though she didn’t actually do the jumping. Or I could have had the best photos of her passed out a million miles above the ground – and those photos would have been awesome. But no, she had to pass out and wake up as the plane was coming into land, while I plummeted to my death with a dude’s dick pressed against my ass.
Awe-fucking-some.
“We should discuss what happened,” Charlotte whispered, but I stayed quiet. When she realized I wasn’t going to say anything, she added, “It was an accident.” Still, I stayed silent. “Was it at least fun?”
That snapped me out of my brush with death snit. “Fun? Fun is when you enjoy something, when you smile and feel light because it’s been something thrilling. Know what isn’t fun?” I swear to God her lips twitched, so I pulled over to the side of the road so that I could blast her with my expression – my fierce and terrifying expression as a survivor.
Cutting the engine, I angled in my chair so that I was looking at her now. “Fun isn’t feeling your brain travel from your head, through your body, and out of your ass hole. Fun isn’t realizing that when that cord is pulled, the parachute may very well fail…”
“They said you had a backup parachute,” she interrupted, but I was too far in to even try to listen to her attempt at being reasonable.
“Fun isn’t realizing that your last moments before you hit the ground and your feet take the opposite direction your brain took – going up through your ass, into your now empty skull – were going to be spent with the dick and balls of the guy you’re strapped to against the crack of your ass,” I hissed, leaning forward as far as my seatbelt would let me.
Her breath hitched, and for a second I felt really bad about ranting, and thought that maybe I’d scared or upset her… until she choked out, “You could really feel his wiener and nuts against your ass crack?” When I just glared at her, she took a shuddering breath in. “Did he at least give you his number before we left?”
Hitting my hand down on the button to undo my belt, I threw it over my shoulder, not even wincing when it hit the window, and moved until our noses were an inch apart. “You left me to die.”
“I think you’re being a tad dramatic, Levi. You were attached to a good-looking dude who knew what he was doing. And, if you think of it in a positive way, he was well hung enough for you to feel it through his clothing against your ass.”
All I heard through the pounding in my head was a bunch of apologies and sweet words, though, and they weren’t going to help her. “Don’t try to sweet talk your way out of this…”
Frowning, she tilted her head to the side and looked at me. “I wasn’t sweet talking my way out of it. I was pointing out how fortunate you were…”
I shook my head as I held my hand up. “Stop begging, it’s not going to work,” I said firmly, and then proceeded to list the reasons why. I’d only gotten halfway through the first one when I realized I was starting to slur my words and heard her saying something through the roaring in my head.
“…yeah, he’s slurring and talking weird,” she said, and then suddenly I was being blinded by the light going on. “Shit, it looks like he’s in shock.” I tried to get my mouth to move, but it felt like my tongue was ten sizes too big for it. Maybe I was allergic to skydiving? “Ok, get Parker to meet us there.”
And that was kind of it for me. I was still conscious but nothing would work how I wanted it to, which is how I found myself half on the passenger seat of my car, and half on the floor of it.
“Don’t worry, I’ll have you home soon,” the sweet voice of an angel reassured me as I fell sideways into the door. “Oops, sorry,” it muttered, and then I was being thrown about the place like we were driving over Lego. My teeth rattled, my bones played the ultimate game of Jenga inside my body, and the limits of my bladder were tested.
After what felt like a lifetime of the shaking and rattling, it finally stopped, and my head fell backward on my neck as the world just switched off. Now why couldn’t it have done that while I was on the plane?