“That’s what she said,” Elijah snorted, and then took a look himself. “Bogey would have needed the elephant-sized version of one of those.”
I wonder if they did those? Not that I wanted one, but now that it had been mentioned I definitely wanted to know if it existed. What was the world’s biggest butt plug?
Picking up my phone I typed it in, hoping that no one anywhere in the world had been tasked with watching my internet searches. The results were initially disappointing at five inches high with a fifteen inch circumference. I mean, I wouldn’t want to stick one in my own ass, but I’d expected better.
And then I found it. “Holy shit!”
When someone says that as they’re looking at their phone, few people can resist either asking or looking, which was proven by Ariana and Bonnie who immediately looked over my shoulder at the screen.
Squinting her eyes, Ariana asked, “What’s that?”
“This butt plug is called The Assifier. It’s a pacifier for your ass and measures in at thirteen inches long, with a fifteen inch circumference at its widest area,” Bonnie read out, then closed her mouth with an audible snap.
There was silence in the room as the three of us read the rest of the description, total forgetting the six men who were now staring at us in a mixture of horror and fascination.
Looking at a photo where it was lying down next to a man’s hand, showing the size of the plug, I breathed, “How the hell would you fit that inside you?”
“You’re gonna need a lot of lube to stick that sucker in,” Bonnie snickered. “We’re talking ten sticks of butter up your ass, one of those family sized popcorn buckets worth of lube, and more than likely…”
“Please stop talking,” Archer growled, turning stiffly away so that he was looking out the window.
He’d been getting headaches ever since Eric had hit him across the head with a two by four, so immediately I assumed he had another one. “Have you got another headache? Can I get you something for it?”
A loud snort came out of Webb as he looked from his cousin over to us. “Oh, I think his headache will go down in a minute.”
His wording confused me, although I guess you could phrase it that way. If a headache or migraine lessened in severity, didn’t that mean it had gone down? Something about the way he was laughing quietly and how the other guys mouths were twitching told me my theory was wrong, but without being included in on the joke I didn’t know what else to go with.
“Do you need me to massage it?” Bonnie asked, making them laugh even harder. Ever since that night, she’d stopped avoiding him and only giving one-word answers when he spoke to her, and had even helped get him back on his feet.
“I need a second,” Elijah wheezed, walking toward the kitchen.
Seeing an escape route, Rambo ran after him, trying to carry the full weight of the plug in his mouth and failing miserably. Before he could get too far, Levi leaned down and grabbed it out of his mouth.
Turning away from it with my cheeks burning all over again, I thought of something to say to distract myself but Ariana got there first. “So, how are you feeling, honey?”
This question wasn’t as easy to answer as it seemed. At this moment I was feeling great, regardless of some pain still in different areas of my body. When I was tired that pain increased slightly, a bit like when you’re not well and feel worse at night.
Mentally and emotionally I was exhausted, happy, sad, angry, I felt betrayed, I felt loved – I couldn’t say that I felt one way because I had too much going on in my head.
And to my shame, I was also horny. Levi wouldn’t touch me until the pain went away, and that was messing with my emotions as well. I also had some paranoia about it in case he didn’t want me anymore – which I knew was stupid – or in case he would get tired of waiting for me, which was also stupid.
I didn’t want to unload that emotional nightmare onto my friends, though. I was better sorting through it myself. “I still have moments where I’m close to having a panic attack,” I explained, angry at one of the other great side effects of what had happened. “If it’s dark at night and I can’t see, or I’m on my own and hear a noise, that’s when the anxiety hits hard. I’ve had some nightmares but they’re starting to get better.”
Sighing, Ariana picked up my hand. “And the pain?”
Forcing a smile onto my face, I grinned at her. “It’s getting better every day.”
A large body kneeling down in front of me almost made me poop my panties, and these were the nice purple ones that Levi liked so much.