Tainted Gold (Providence Gold 3)

“Stuck in your mind?” Beau drawled, raising her eyebrow. Shit, Mom did that all the time, and I knew exactly what it meant – you’re full of shit.

“Okay, my cousins and my brother have found someone, right?” I asked, hoping she had heard the stories, and that I didn’t have to repeat them all. It took a lot of freakin’ time to explain the Townsend family as it was, adding in wives and kids was like reading out Santa’s naughty list. I breathed a sigh of relief when she nodded. “So, their women are the Ying to their Yang’s, they suit each other perfectly and there’s a connection there that just makes you hope and pray that you find it yourself one day, even if you don’t want it at that moment in time. You also might be praying that you find it, but sometimes you don’t actually want it – does that make sense?”

“Kind of,” she hedged, cocking her head and thinking it over. I’m glad she was making sense of it because this shit was like a riddle to explain. “I once wanted these pants that I saw online, so I ordered them thinking I’d look the shit. I looked like five pigs being stuffed into one sausage skin.”

What the fuck?

“Um…”

“Meaning, sometimes what you look at having in life, isn’t always what you’re going to get. On that occasion, I spent ten bucks on a pair that I gave to Goodwill, and then went and spent eighty bucks on a pair, and they were perfect.”

“Are we comparing Lily to pigs, sausage skins or your pants?” I asked slowly, struggling to keep up with where she was going with this.

“All of it,” she shrugged. “Life before it for you was the cheap pants that took six weeks to arrive from China and made me look like I needed to lose a hundred pounds, when I only really need to lose like ninety-five. I settled for the promise of something thinking it was right for me. Then, I realized it wasn’t, and I went for the more expensive pair that were perfect for me.”

Finally, someone who made me look sane!

“If you say so,” I drawled, giving her the head nod that my family gave me all the time. Damn it felt good to do it to someone else.

“You may continue!”

“Obliged,” I snorted, leaning my back against the armrest of the couch now.

In a way, it felt good to get all this shit out in the open. I could have approached one of the family, but at the same time, I couldn’t. We were a close bunch, but that closeness worked against us too because we had a lot of ammo against each other – something which we used all the time. These feelings were new to me and made me feel vulnerable, so I was reluctant to share them for now. Beau was close to Lily, so she would understand, hopefully.

“Because I didn’t know Lily, I didn’t miss or appreciate the feelings that someone could bring, so I didn’t miss them, but I still wanted them. Then she walked into the bar, and it was like…” Shit, what was it like?

“Like finding a pair of pants that fit like a dream and make your ass look like two buns in a hankie?”

I said, “Exactly,” but inside my head I was looking at her like she was crazy and saying, ‘not quite’. “We were only in there for one drink, but I picked up on her mannerisms, her sense of humor, her eye color, everything. And, since then, she’s been stuck in my mind.”

“But then she got together with the douche,” she guessed.

“Yeah, she got together with the douche,” I hissed, shaking my head. I hated that asshole for so many reasons. “I still don’t get how he could cheat on her with Carly…”

It was like going from champagne to sewage.

“She wouldn’t put out,” Beau said simply. “In fact, the only reason she went on the dates with him was because he’d turn up at The Bar and either make a scene or make it impossible for her to say no. Did you know his reason for sticking it in Carly was because he never saw her after her dad had his heart attack?”

Nodding, I ran my hand through my hair and tried not to show how happy I was about it all. That lasted all of five seconds. “I hate that she went through it, but I can’t lie and say I’m not happy as hell that it played out the way it did.”

“No shit!” she chuckled.

“Anyway, while I was away with my cousins, a friend of theirs almost lost his woman and his kid. I already knew Lily was special to me, but seeing how devastated he was, I realized that if I was in his shoes, I’d be the same way. Lily is different, she’s my someone special. I’ve had a handful of conversations with her, spent one night with her, and she’s carrying my baby now. But even though we’re doing it ass backwards and we haven’t had a chance to really get to properly know each other – I know she’s my special one.” When she just looked at me, I pressed, “Haven’t you ever met someone you know is special, and who you can’t get out of your mind? I’m not talking like as a crush, but someone who strikes you deeper inside.”