During it all, the fact that life was short as hell had hit me all over again, and I’d also assessed the connection I felt with Lily. I’d decided I was going to give it my all to make sure I didn’t lose what I’d had with her, and if she hadn’t felt the same way, I was going to make her. I came from a family that were tenacious and who fought hard for what they wanted – how convenient was that?
Telling Beau this last bit, I waited for her to laugh in my face. Instead, she nodded understandingly. “That makes sense. When you’re faced with the harsh realities of life, you see things more clearly. Lily was the same when her dad had his heart attack, but she’s taken on all the responsibilities of The Bar, so she kind of been boxed in. She should be out enjoying life, but instead she’s keeping the family and the business afloat.”
That one comment gave me an idea – my family could help shoulder some of the burden. Our parents got along, so they’d be happy to help out. Plus, they could take on some of the bar’s duties so she could have a break, and the pregnancy was the best excuse to make that happen.
“Anyway, back to the point I was making,” I returned to the original part of the conversation and far away from my Gramps, it was still too raw for me. “I’m not the flake that everyone thinks I am, I just live life refusing to let the little things get to me. Sure, sometimes they do, but I refuse to give them the power to take over.”
“You’re afraid it’ll make you do what your friend did,” Beau noted.
“I know that depression is an illness, but people try to kill themselves because of different triggers, not just mental health problems. I never want to put my family through what that family went through, so I look at life less seriously and refuse to let the little things rule my life and thoughts.”
I couldn’t believe that at Satan’s-asshole-o’clock I was having this conversation with someone I hardly knew, but Beau had something about her that made her easy to talk to. Plus, I wanted her to know where I was coming from when it came to her best friend.
Eventually, after leaving us in silence for a couple of minutes, she nodded her head and hummed. “I get it. Don’t sweat the petty stuff.”
Relieved, I snorted, “Right, and don’t pet sweaty stuff.”
Wrinkling her nose, she made a gagging noise. “Gross,” she gagged again. “You know, our Lilith is… unique.”
Our Lilith, I liked that.
“How so?”
She was about to say something, when the sleepwalking beauty carrying my baby stumbled back into the living room.
“The squirrel wants to Netflix and chill, but we’re out of tomatoes,” she mumbled, rubbing her eyes, before stumbling back to her room again.
Waiting until she was out of sight again, I turned back to Beau who was trying not to laugh. “How often exactly does she do that?”
“She’s done it every time I’ve been here,” she chuckled, shaking her head. “The first time I saw her doing it, I woke up to her crying because the elephant had left footprints in her butter.”
I wasn’t sure what to do with this. What I knew about sleepwalking was pretty much slim to none, but at the same time I knew they could do some dangerous shit. “Where does it all come from?”
Looking at me like I was crazy (again), she admitted, “I’m not a sleep therapist or a shrink, so I don’t have a clue. Sometimes, it’s stuff that I know about and that’s relevant to life or what’s happened in the past. The rest of the time, it seems to be random AF.”
A crash from Lily’s bedroom got both of our attentions. “Is she ok?”
“I also can’t see through walls,” she pointed out sarcastically. “If I could, I’d stand outside Chris Hemsworth’s dressing room, one very happy lady.”
Moving toward the hallway to go to Lily’s room, I shot over my shoulder, “Me thinks our Rico Suave might have an issue with that, Ms. Beau.”
Just as my hand touched the doorknob of Lily’s room, I heard Beau mutter, “Fucker!”
I really needed to talk to him.FiveTateWaking up this morning felt different to every other morning. Taking stock of my body, I winced as I moved my head slightly, eyes still closed, wondering why I’d fallen sitting upright against the headboard of the bed. It felt like my spine had frozen in place, and I couldn’t feel either of my butt cheeks when I tried to move them.
Shifting slightly, I realized that my hand was frozen around the object in it. I remembered thinking over things and Googling shit until I’d had to admit defeat, i.e. I’d passed out holding my phone.