The woman nodded her head vigorously at us, then looked over our shoulders and frantically shook her head. Turning to follow where she was looking, I saw the flight attendant was back with a pack of Benadryl and a glass of water.
I reached up just in time as she thrust them at me, sneered at all of us and then stalked away again.
“I wanna say she’s had a bad day, but the truth is she has terminal resting bitch face,” the Captain muttered, still glaring at her back. “And a total bitch mentality.”
He then excused himself as I got the pill ready and held it out to the woman who was still shaking her head with her lips tightly pressed together. Sighing, I moved my hand back to my side and tried to figure out how to get her to take it.
“Here, son, I’ll help,” the old man offered, before reaching up and placing his hand on her forehead.
I thought perhaps he was going to try to calm her and talk some sense into her. Instead, with an insane amount of strength, he held her head down and beckoned for me to put the pill in her mouth, which had opened with a squeak at the force being applied by the old guy.
Popping the pill in, I closed her mouth, pressing upwards on her jaw, and then held my hand over lips while the old man clamped her nose shut.
She squirmed and wriggled slightly, growling each time, and then gave a rough and awkward swallow.
“Reckon she’s about done,” the old man chuckled. “Might wanna give her a sip of that water.”
Holding the glass to her lips, I avoided eye contact with the beautiful ones that were currently trying to set me on fire and ignored the chuckling still coming from the helpful old man. Granted, I’d be about the same level of pissed if I was in her shoes, but it really was for her own good.
“Sir, you’re going to have to sit down,” flight attendant, aka Mile High Bitch, snapped behind me. “We’re beginning our descent.”
“I’ll swap with you,” the old man said as he got up and gestured to his chair. Stepping over the sick woman, he nodded at me and walked over to where I’d originally been sitting. “We’ll swap our stuff when we land.”
Standing up and wincing when my head met the overhead luggage compartment this time, I tried to figure out how to get into the vacated seat. Either side of me, the attendants were collecting trash from passengers, so they blocked the aisles. This meant that the only option was to climb over the woman.
At any point, doing this was awkward as shit be it on a plane, a game, or the movie theater. You had to bend your crotch away from them to avoid any rude crotch-to-face rubbing, and you had to make sure not to stand on their feet. However, when you were my height and the person couldn’t move, you really had to be careful because the only place on your body that their face would rub against if you misjudged it was your dick.
Just as I straddled her legs with my own, the man seated in front of her went to raise his chair into the upright position, forgetting to sit up first. This meant that the back of his seat came crashing down even further than it had been originally with his weight still pressing on the back giving it some extra force, inadvertently sending me flying forward.
My crotch ended up on her face, and by that I mean her entire face. Her forehead met the button on the top of my jeans (which were riding slightly lower than normal after sitting for so long), her nose met the middle of my dick, and her chin was left using my balls for support.
How the hell was I meant to get out of this situation? I couldn’t move backward at all, and I didn’t think it would be polite to wriggle my crotch around with her face pressed against it. So, I had no option but to freeze and try to figure out the best way to word an apology to her.
Of course, I hadn’t realized that we were the center of focus for a majority of the passengers in our section until people started to react.
Mile High Bitch gasped.
The air marshal started laughing loudly.
And the old man snorted, “Well, that’s one way to get her attention.”
Pushing against the back of the chair that was still pinning me in place, I tried to either get some space to move sideways or hurry the guy up in putting his chair into the upright position. When he finally did it, and I got the space to remove my dick from her person, I sat down and rubbed my face with my hands.