Mad Gold (Providence Gold 2)

That lasted all of two seconds because Levi moved from his seat on the other side of Madix, so that he was kneeling on the floor, and whispered something in his ear. Madix listened looking completely confused and then nodded.

Suddenly, the Townsend insanity reared its awesome head as Levi bolted up from his position, gave Madix a loud smacking kiss on the cheek, and then jumped up on his chair.

“He said yes! Oh, holy Jesus, my sweet cushion tush said yes. We’re getting married!” he screeched, pumping his arms in the air and squealing.

The entire restaurant burst into a round of applause and then climbed up onto their chairs and tables and started chanting.

“Cushion tush, cushion tush, cushion tush, cushion tush!”

I couldn’t help it, the look on Madix’s face teamed with the actions of the people around us, and the Townsends who were now standing on the table yelling, “Say ‘yes’ to the dress!” was too much.

I started laughing harder than I’d ever laughed in my life, so hard that I lost my balance and fell off my chair. From my position on the floor, I saw that the leg of my chair had actually snapped which was what had made me fall. At this moment, I couldn’t even muster one tiny shit for my lack of luck.

“Give me a kiss, pookie,” Levi squealed.

A hand appeared under the table to help me out, and then I was lifted up to sit on the table.

“I’m going to kill him,” Madix growled, watching as Levi slowly and seductively – or at least trying to be – crawled along the table toward us with his lips puckered. “I’m going to shove his balls up his ass and…”

I don’t know what came over me, but I did something at that moment I would never ever have thought I’d have the lady-balls to do. I jumped up so I was standing on the table and yelled, “Levi, you lucky guy. He’s into the kink as well!”

The chants in the restaurant changed to, “Kinky cushion tush, kinky cushion tush, kinky cushion tush!”

I’ll give him credit – when Levi reached him and pulled him in for a big old smackeroo, he didn’t flinch, he didn’t lash out, and he didn’t rub his face afterward.

Instead, he stood up slowly, looked at Mrs. Crane – who was all of five feet tall in her old lady shoes – and raised an eyebrow.

Giving all of us the dirtiest look I’d ever seen her throw, she stormed out of the restaurant with her nose in the air.

Just as she was walking out, Levi screamed and yelled over the still chanting customers, “Get your finger out of there. We’re in public, you sexy bastard!”FiveMadix“I hate that old woman,” Erica muttered as we all sat on the porch drinking a beer, apart from Luna who was rubbing her bump and chuckling at something. “She’s been a pain in the ass for years.”

The old bitch from the restaurant had apparently had an issue with the Townsend cousin’s friend Tony and his husband Lars coming to visit a few weeks ago. She also had an issue with anyone of color, anyone who wasn’t Christian, anyone who didn’t go to church, anyone who farted, and anyone who breathed.

She was just a plain old bitch! Because of that, I was impressed with how Levi had dealt with her regardless of the role I’d inadvertently played in it, but I’d never admit that out loud.

“What did she mean about Dahlia’s mom?” Luna asked me.

I shifted uncomfortably because it really wasn’t up to me to tell people. She’d only just told me the story today and if she wanted people to know something like this she’d tell them herself, right?

“Her mom ran away with the previous Pastor’s wife,” Erica responded, shocking me. Waving her hand in my direction, she shook her head as she said, “It was quite the scandal a long, long time ago. She left that poor sweet baby and her daddy. Then again, she was never really maternal in any shape or form. We never saw her with Dahlia or her dad, and when she was pregnant, she was constantly miserable and complaining.”

“Damn,” Luna muttered, looking out at the grass beside Jer and Erica’s house. “That’s rough. Do you think I should talk to her and tell her about ours?” she turned to look at me and cocked her head to the side.

“I already told her.”

“You did?” she gasped. I never spoke about our mom to anyone so even I’d been shocked when I’d opened up to her. I wasn’t embarrassed or ashamed of it. It was mostly because it was a shitty story. Who wanted to hear that kind of crap?

“Yeah, on the way to the restaurant today,” I said before taking a big mouthful of beer.