During all of this, he’d asked me to stay at his house on Townsend land so he knew I was safe. I say ‘asked’ because I’m missing him today. What he actually did was order me to stay there. It’s funny how when you miss someone, even when you want to cut their balls off and shove them in their ears, you’ll cutify something they did to really piss you off.
That’s why I was currently sitting in Luna’s living room watching as she changed Jamie’s diaper. I’d never seen a diaper change before and I was still struggling to get my head around how something so small could do so much poop.
The front door slamming open and Ariana storming in with a look of thunder on her face distracted me from the poo-spectacle.
Stomping over to the other couch, she dropped onto it and did one of those screams where you don’t open your mouth so it’s quieter, but it’s equally dramatic.
“Still upset?” Luna asked her as she finished taping a fresh diaper onto her daughter.
“Well, yeah!” Ari replied, glaring at her Kindle that she’d dropped on the cushion beside her leg.
“What happened?” I mean, I had to ask. Sometimes it’s okay not to, you can just smile and look sympathetic. Other times? You just had to know, especially if it was out of character for the person which this was.
“She took her kitten to the vet today,” Luna informed me, doing up the snaps on the onesie like a pro.
“You got a kitten? When? Where is it?” I wasn’t a cat person per se. They just weren’t my preferred species of pet. That didn’t mean I didn’t enjoy seeing them from time to time. Plus, Ari hadn’t told me she was getting one so now I was really intrigued.
“My cousin Tom’s wife has a Munchkin,” she sighed, her head dropping back onto the couch. “I decided that I wanted one too, so I got one. It was kind of last second because it was the runt of the litter and the breeder was going to give it to a shelter so she didn’t have to vaccinate or worm it.”
“A what?”
“A Munchkin. They’ve got really short legs and are tiny,” Luna said, grinning at me. “Ariana likes little things,” she winked.
“Ariana does not like little things,” she snapped, her head popping up so she could glare at her brother’s wife. “I like big cocks and animals with little legs.”
This was true actually – she had wanted a Dachshund for years. Something which her brother Levi had bought Luna, his best friend, thinking it was her who wanted one. Ari was still holding a grudge against him for it and kept tormenting the guy by buying things he liked for her other brothers.
“So, why is this upsetting?” I asked, because come on – a kitten that fits your likes isn’t a reason to scream. Unless… “Oh shit, is it sick? Is it evil?”
“No, and no,” she mumbled, her cheeks going bright pink as she lifted her right butt cheek up off the couch and picked up the little squeaky giraffe she’d sat on.
“The vet told her she had a pretty pussy,” Luna snickered, putting the dirty diaper in a bag and tying the top of it shut. “She thought he was being fresh…”
“He was really hot,” Ariana interrupted in a sulky tone.
“But he was talking about the kitten,” Luna finished, laughing as she passed Jamie to me – something which made me freeze on the outside, and panic on the inside.
She continued laughing as she walked past me on the way to the kitchen.
“Please don’t go,” I croaked, not daring to even blink in case the baby shot out of my arms and into the air. Realistically, I knew it couldn’t happen, but what if I had a muscle spasm? Or if I sneezed?
Shit, don’t sneeze. Please, for the love of all things holy – Do. Not. Sneeze!
Ariana sighing caught my attention, but I still refused to take my eyes off the sleeping baby. “He was all about the freaking kitten,” she sulked. “Ironic considering my pussy wouldn’t have minded him being all about it too.”
“Should you talk like that around a baby?”
“Anyway,” she ignored me as she continued. “I came home, decided to read a romance and do you know what happened in it?” I figured it was a rhetorical question, so I didn’t answer, not that she gave me a chance to. “He’s like pumping away, right? And then he tells her she has the best tasting and tightest pussy he’s ever had. While he’s inside her,” she reiterated. “Who wants to know that? It’s not like the chick said back to him, ‘oh, your penis ranks above any other cock I’ve sucked and fucked, you know. In fact, the last one I had inside me wasn’t nearly as big as yours and tasted like…’”