My father didn’t exist, the shit associated with him didn’t exist, my asshole was no longer in my nostril as I plummeted towards the hard earth… life was good. And I had Noah, so it was even more good-er. Ohhh, I loved that!
“Good-er!” I yelled at Maggie over the loud music as I lifted my Sex on the Beach cocktail and took a healthy mouthful.
“What?” She yelled back, just as drunk as I was.
“Good-er. Isn’t it an awsomtumulous word?”
Nodding her head eagerly, she pulled her phone out and drunkenly typed onto the screen.
“There,” she shouted, nodding her head once. “I’ve made a note to give it to the Urban Dictionary tomorrow, along with awsomtumulous. Does it have a silent pin it though?”
“Well, it does now!”
She typed another note as she squinted at her screen and then gave a final nod.
“Reminder set too. I always do that. I’ll type something and then find it six months later and wonder what the shadizzeI I was thinking! This way, there’s no forgetting.”
Smart!
And that wasn’t the end of the ideas.
It’s just that the next one was life-changing.13 Luna“I now,” the Elvis impersonator marrying us shook his hips. “Pronounce you,” shake, shake. “Husband,” shake. “And wife!” A big sweeping circle of his arm followed as he faced the wall and gyrated his hips before pointing at us and lifting the corner of his lip. “You may now kiss your bride!”
I never got to see how it ended, because the next thing, Noah was kissing the life out of me as Maggie screamed and threw rose petals over us and Sven clapped.Two hours later…
After Elvis had gyrated and sung to us, we hit a couple more bars on our way back to the hotel for celebratory shots, and then hit the casino downstairs.
Now I was Luna Townsend, and I was also two-thousand-three-hundred-eighty-two dollars richer! And Noah said I didn’t have a poker face.
Snorting to myself, I followed my husband out of the elevator and gave Maggie a slightly melodramatic hug goodnight.
“Come on, you,” Noah tugged my hand and pulled me toward our door. I was still attached to Maggie, so it was only slightly awkward.
Sighing, Sven walked up to his wife, picked her up and spun toward their door. “Catch ya in the morning,” he muttered over his shoulder.
How he managed to open the door to their suite without dropping her or even looking like he was doing it was a mystery. I wanted to learn that magic.
I was just setting off in his direction to ask him to show me the trick when Noah picked me up, slung me over his shoulder and stalked into our suite.
Looking down at the carpet, the pile and the patterns in it almost mesmerized me, until I felt the contents of my stomach moving with gravity. No sooner had I started to gulp, then I was flying through the air and landing on a cloud of squiffy pillowy awesomeness.
“Weeeee!”
Shaking his head at me, he started to get undressed. When I just lay there watching him, he nodded at my clothes and raised his eyebrow. See, if you want people to follow discrete orders like that, you really shouldn’t distract them by stripping– which is what he went back to doing.
The man’s body was a form of art, I’m sure of it! He had definition all over - shoulders I swear Maggie and I could have each perched on, and his legs… and the butt that was just being uncovered as he turned away from me to put his wallet and phone on the table.
“Luna, strip!” he ordered, before pulling down his boxers. “Luna,” he said again, trying to get my attention, but all I could see was his big fat cock waving around. It was almost hypnotic, and the most perfect thing that I’d ever seen in my life. In fact, all of Noah was.
At that moment, I suddenly felt poetic. An idea hit me, and I rolled quickly to my side and went hunting for the pad of paper and pen that I’d seen on the bedside table when we’d checked in earlier. Picking it up, I sat upright and chewed on the end of the pen, taking in the finer details of my husband.
“What are you doing?” he sounded torn between amused and irritated as he watched me.
“Shhh, I’m feeling poetic,” I told him, tapping myself on the nose with the pen and almost hitting my eye. “Your…” I couldn’t decide on one piece of him, so I just gestured from top to bottom. “Inspired me!”
Sighing, he walked around the bed and pulled my shoes off. I was about to thank him when he somehow wheeked– that’s the best word for it because it was like there one second, wheeked away the next– my top off my body and over my head. In the process, I lost my mighty pen, but I wouldn’t realize that until later when I went to write the words ‘cock’ and ‘balls’.