By the time I was done, Heidi was staring at me, her mouth gaping. “Holy shit, Evie—I mean, Nadia. What am I supposed to call you?”
“Evie. I guess. I mean, Nadia feels weird. I’m not her—well, I am, but I’m Evie.”
“Yeah. You’re Evie.” She slowly shook her head. “I don’t know what to say.”
I laughed under my breath. “Welcome to the club.”
“It’s crazy,” she said, her gaze flicking over me as if she were looking for some sign that I wasn’t who she thought I was. “What the Daedalus was able to do, you know? Some of the stuff is nothing short of miraculous. They were able to save your life, but then they did all these horrible things. It’s just … it’s a lot.”
It was. “I’ve been thinking about it. Like, I think everything has a good and bad side, and the Daedalus was no different. They probably saved a lot of lives, but none of that makes up for the terrible things they did. Maybe that was why Mom worked for them, because of the good she was doing—they were doing at one point.”
“I can’t believe she’s a Luxen. Damn.” Heidi suddenly laughed. “Is that why Zoe never went over to your place when your mom was home?”
I nodded. “Yeah, Mom would’ve known what she was. Zoe steered clear.”
“Damn.” She smoothed a hand over the fine wisps of hair framing her forehead. “Damn, Evie.”
My lips twitched. “I know.”
“It kind of makes sense—at least the whole Luc part. How he was with you. Emery couldn’t figure it out. As long as she’s known him, he’s never been the way he is around you with anyone else.”
Pressing my lips together, I took a tiny breath and then closed my eyes, saying something I didn’t really even let myself think. “I like him, Heidi.”
“I know.”
I shook my head, keeping my eyes closed. “Things with him are complicated. I like him. I can feel it in here.” I raised my hand to the center of my chest. “I like Luc and his stupid shirts and his really dumb pickup lines, Heidi. They’re so bad, you have no idea. And I like the way he looks at me like—” My voice caught. “He looks at me like you look at Emery. And I like the way he makes me feel special. I like that he’s funny and that he’s super-smart. I even like how … unrepentant he can be, even though that’s wrong. I don’t even care. I know that I like Luc, and now he’s mad at me.”
“That’s all good, Evie. Not the Luc being mad at you part, but everything else.”
Slowly, I opened my eyes. “I know I like him for who he is, but he likes me for who I was.”
Understanding crept into her eyes. “Evie, you don’t know that.”
“But I do. Maybe that will change? Or maybe that doesn’t matter, because I am her, but it terrifies me, because what if I don’t ever hold up to her? You know?”
“Oh, Evie. I didn’t know you—Nadia, whatever—back then, but you’re cooler than shit now, and you do not give yourself enough credit.”
I smiled at her. “You have to say that.”
“No. I don’t. I could just pretend like I have a phone call and leave this conversation.”
A laugh burst out of me. “That’s terrible.” Exhaling heavily, I straightened. “I’m glad you know the truth now.”
“So am I.” She took a deep breath. “Okay. So, what are you doing with the camera?”
Welcoming the distraction so I didn’t break down in tears, I decided to show her the picture of April. “The last picture she was in was like this, too. See? Nothing else about the photo is weird except her.”
She frowned. “And you have another pic of her like that?”
“Yes.” I told her about checking out the yearbook. “It’s so freaking weird. I’ve never seen anything like that, and you know what I was thinking?” I lowered my voice as I looked around the library to make sure no one was near us. “I couldn’t help but think about the Arum, but wouldn’t Zoe know if she was one?”
“I think so. At least, that’s what Emery has said. They can kind of sense one another, even the Origins and hybrids.” She brushed a thin wisp of red hair back from her face. “Maybe she’s got one of those ghosts from that old movie—you know? What was it called? Aha! The Grudge. Maybe the grudge ghost is attached to her,” she said, frowning at the screen of my camera. “You know what I’m talking about? The creepy ghost girl—”
“I know what you’re talking about.” I stared at her, eyebrow raised. “I don’t think that’s what this is.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t know.” I studied the weird shadowy outline. “I wish I had another picture of her, one indoors to see if it’s just some kind of weird exposure issue outside versus…”