I shivered, a little scared by his words.
And I was also sort of … turned on. That probably meant there was something wrong with me. Okay, not probably. Most definitely there was something twisted and disturbingly wrong with me.
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Luc said. “It’s not the idea of violence that makes you feel that way. There’s no one who deserves it more than Jason Dasher.”
He was correct, but I shouldn’t wish that kind of death on anyone. I should be better than that or some crap, and besides that, I shouldn’t want to kiss him after hearing him say that.
Luc’s head gave that odd little tilt again. “It’s also because you know I’d do exactly what I said, that I would do all of that for you, and you also know how badly I want to be the last thing Jason Dasher sees.”
Breathing turning shallow, I knew he was right.
“Humans are messy, Evie. Complicated and layered beings who sometimes find themselves in that uncomfortable, moral gray area,” he said in that strange, power-heavy voice. “Just because you aren’t exactly human doesn’t mean you’re not just as messy.”
I wet my lips as my pulse pounded. It hurt my eyes to stare into the light, but as close as he was, I could see he looked nothing like a Luxen, who in their true form reminded me of liquid glass. Beyond the intense glow, I saw the almost perfect lines and planes of the face I still itched to capture to film like I’d done one afternoon in his club. “And you?”
“I am the mess,” he stated.
I didn’t understand what that meant, but he spoke before I could ask. “I wish you did not fear me now.”
“I don’t fear you.”
“Your mind is completely open to me. I know what you think.”
My watering eyes narrowed. “For the millionth time, it’s rude to read people’s thoughts.”
“It does not change what I know,” he replied.
“Okay. Yes. I’m a little freaked out. Can you blame me? You’re speaking weird, and you haven’t called me Peaches once since you sucked all that power into you—”
“I took it so you didn’t stupidly kill yourself.”
“And I thank you for that, but you could’ve left off the stupid part,” I told him, and he just stared down at me with eyes full of white flames. “You also told me that you could easily take me out now—”
“What I can do and what I would do are two separate entities.”
“Yes, I know that, Mr. Cold Logic, but that doesn’t make it any less creepy to hear.” My hands were tense at my sides, fingers digging into the blanket. It was the only way I could stop myself from punching him. “And in case you don’t know, you look like the Human Torch right now.”
“But I am still Luc.” He dipped his head just the slightest, and I had to lower my gaze to shield my eyes from the brightness. “I am still yours.”
My heart gave a happy little flop as my fingers eased off their death grip. “Yes. You are.”
One of his hands shifted to the space beside my shoulder, and the heat he threw off should’ve been unbearable but wasn’t. “I wish you didn’t fear me,” he repeated. “Because I want to remove the taste of what your memories held with something beautiful.”
What my heart did next put the silly flop to shame. Filled with the bitter sweetness of his words, it swelled so much I felt like I could float off the bed. He wanted to erase what I knew he felt, because it had been in me first, and honestly, I wanted nothing more than to wash that taint away. I was scared of what he was right now, but not of him.
Never of him.
I couldn’t count how many times he’d intervened and saved my life, only because I was sure there were times I didn’t even know about. I couldn’t fathom how he’d walked away and stayed away from me, because I knew I wouldn’t have been able to do that. I was entirely too selfish, and that was where Luc was wrong about him and me. He’d do anything to make sure I lived, and I would do anything to make sure he stayed by my side.
Luc started to pull back, and I stopped lying there and I stopped thinking, because Luc needed me. I lifted my hands, knowing that the Source surrounding him would not harm me.
Electricity traveled across my fingers and down my arms as my hands slipped through the heated glow. I pressed my palms against his cheeks, turning his head back to mine. Tears crowded my eyes, and I wasn’t sure if it was from the light or something else, but I closed them as I raised my head to his.