As he joined her on the plateau, they looked around. They'd been working the quarry's long slope for a number of hours, shining flashlights into shallow caves and outcroppings of rocks. The search and rescue officers were tackling the steep side and the other CPDers were far over on the left or going around the rim with the dogs. Minutes passed slowly, agonizingly, the sheer expanse of what there was to cover overwhelming her.
And the undercurrents with Veck, the things unsaid, didn't help.
God, she hated this whole thing. Especially the fact that they were trying to find the body of a young girl.
"There's another cave over here," she said, jumping off a boulder and landing in a crouch on the muddy ground.
The terrain had looked rough from the rim of the quarry. Up close, it was an obstacle course, the kind of landscape you wanted to wear hiking boots to tackle - so good thing extra outerwear and backup evidence kits weren't the only gear and supplies she kept in her trunk. Good thing also that the rain from the night before had stopped or this would have been beyond grueling. As it was, the tops of the rocks had already dried from the sun so at least they had some firm footing; the puddles and mud in the low spots slowed them down enough.
"You ever been here before?" Veck asked after he landed next to her. As usual, he didn't have enough clothes on -
Hold up, let's rephrase that, she thought: As usual, he wasn't dressed warmly enough, and his footwear was more office-bound than Outward Bound. Not that he seemed to care: Even though his shoes were no doubt ruined, and his black windbreaker had all the insulation of a sheet of paper against the cool breeze, he was soldiering on, sure as if he were perfectly comfortable.
Then again, they were working up a sweat.
Wait, what was the question ... ?
"Like most people, I've known about the quarry forever." She glanced up to the rim. "But this is my first visit. Boy, it's like something ripped a giant pot out of the earth."
"Big something."
"They say it was created by glaciers."
"Either that or God was a golfer and the pin he was aiming for is in Pennsylvania."
She laughed a little. "Personally, I'll put my money on prehistoric ice. In fact, this is just called "the quarry" - it's never been one, just looks like one."
They surmounted another boulder, jumped off again, and pressed onward toward the dark maw of the cave she'd spotted. The one they were heading for looked larger than the others they'd been to already, and up close, its entrance seemed tall enough to get through without bending down - although there was no way Veck's shoulders were going to fit unless he turned sideways.
Shining her light in, there was nothing but a whole lot of rock wall and dirt floor, and God, the stink. Dank, musty. They all smelled the same, as if the place had one and only one kind of body odor.
"Nothing," she said. "But I can't see the end of it."
"Let me go in further."
Now would have been the perfect time to modern-woman it and hit him with a Hell, no, I'll take care of this. But heaven only knew what was in there, and she was not a huge fan of bats. Bears. Snakes. Spiders.
The great outdoors was the one area where she skewed solidly chick.
After she stepped aside, Veck pivoted and squeezed into the thin space. The fact that even his chest was a tight fit reminded her of just how much she knew about his body.
Glancing away, she tried to find the next target. Desperately.
"Nothing," Veck muttered as he reemerged and made a red X with spray paint on the stone.
"Wait, you have - " She rose up on her toes and brushed the cobweb from his hair. "There, much more presentable."
He snagged her hand as she went to turn away.
When she jerked in surprise and then looked around quickly, he said, "Don't worry, no one can see us."
Guess that was true: They were down in between three massive rocks. But that was hardly good news, because privacy was not what they needed. Spotlights. A stage. Bullhorns strapped to their faces, was more like it -
"Look, I know this isn't appropriate," he murmured in a voice that made her heart pound even harder. "But that shit that Kroner said - about knowing me?"
Reilly exhaled in relief. Thank God it wasn't about them. "Yes?"
Veck released his hold, and paced in a little circle. Then he took out a cigarette, lit it, and blew the smoke away from her. "I think on some level, that's what scares me most in this world."
Feeling like a fool for freaking out, she eased back on the sun-warmed flank of a boulder. "What do you mean?"
Veck stared up at the sky, the shadow of his strong chin falling on his chest and giving the appearance of a dark arch cut out of his torso. "Like recognizes like... ."
"You really think you'd tried to kill him," she said softly.
"Look, this is going to sound crazy ... but it feels like my father is always with me." He put his hand up to his sternum, right at that black shadow. "It's this ... thing, that's a part of me, but not me. And I've always been terrified that it's going to get out - " He cut himself off with a curse. "Oh, Christ, listen to this bullshit - "
"It is not bullshit." When he looked over, she stared right back at him. "And you can talk to me. No judgments. No other audience, ever. Provided you haven't broken the law."
His mouth twitched bitterly. "I haven't done anything that can get me arrested. Although I really wondered if I had with Kroner in those woods."
"Well, if you have a fear that you're like your father, and there's a bloodbath in front of you, and you can't remember a thing - of course you would."
"I don't want to be like him. Ever."
"You aren't."
"You don't know me."
His hard expression put a chill through her, in spite of the fact that her feet were dry and toasty, and she was wearing a parka and gloves. And he was so sure of being a stranger to her, that she wondered why the truism hadn't stopped them in time the night before. Then again, sex and sexual attraction had a way of making you feel close, when in fact it was just about two bodies rubbing together.
How much did she really know about him? Not much other than what was in his H.R. file at work.
She was certain of one thing, however: He had not, in fact, hurt that man.
"You need to talk to someone who's a professional," she said. Because of course there had to be psychological repercussions to having a father like that. "Get this burden off of you."
"But that's the problem ... it's inside me."
Something about the tone he used made that chill return - tenfold. Except now she was just thinking crazy. "And I'm telling you, you need to talk it out."
He resumed looking at the bright blue sky with its passing white streaks of cloud.
After a moment, he said, "I was relieved when you left so quickly last night."
Well, wasn't that a slap in the face to bring her back to her senses. "I'm happy to have obliged," she said with an edge.
"Because I could fall in love with you."
As her mouth eased open and she blinked like a fish, he tapped his cigarette and exhaled, the smoke rising up into the chilly spring air. "I know that's not helping anything. Both the fact that I said it now, and that it's true."
Too right. And yet, she couldn't help going there. "But last night ... you told me you would never take me to your bed."
He shook his head, his upper lip curling in distaste. "Absolutely not. That's where I've been with women who don't matter. You did - you do." He cursed, low and deep. "You're not like the others."
Reilly took a deep breath. And another.
And she knew that now would be a good time to set them both straight with something along the lines of, "I'm really flattered, but ..."
Instead, she just stared at him as he turned the cigarette around and looked at the little orange tip. Tracing the harsh and beautiful lines of his face, she tried to fight the pull toward him ... and then gave up: In this pocket of privacy in front of the cave, with the breeze whistling between the boulders, and the sun on their faces, the gears between them started to slide back into place again ... and she realized the true reason she'd left his house so fast.
Screw the job issues: She felt the same way he did, and it had scared her off.
"But it's tied up in all the shit with my father."
"I'm sorry, what?" she heard herself say.