Sadie chuckled and shook her head. “Definitely not what I was going to say. But as long as we’re talking about rainbow cookies, I think we should order two helpings of those.” Sadie looked up at me, smiled, and squeezed my hand. “What I wanted to talk to you about is something you asked me the other day. You asked what would happen if your dad and I broke up. I’ve been thinking a lot about that question and even discussed it with your dad. So I thought I’d give you a better answer now that we’ve had the time to think about it.” Sadie glanced at me again and then leaned closer to Birdie, looking her directly in her eyes. “No matter what happens between your dad and me, I’m not going anywhere when it comes to being your friend. So I guess what I’m trying to say is, you’re sort of stuck with me, kid. No matter where life takes any of us, I’d like to be a part of your life.” Sadie looked up at me. “And your dad is good with that, aren’t you, Sebastian?”
I’d gotten choked up watching the two of them together and had to clear my throat before speaking. “Absolutely. Sadie will always be welcome in our family.”
Birdie got up out of her chair and stood before me. She tucked her chin to her chest and said, “Daddy, can you take my tiara out of my hair for me?”
My brows furrowed, but I did it. Untangling a few pieces of hair that were stuck, I slipped the sparkly crown from atop my daughter’s head and handed it to her. She then walked over to Sadie.
“This is our special friend crown. It’s my most favorite thing I have. One time I thought I lost it, so my dad went and bought me another one just like it. So I have two. I want you to take this one. It means more than just a friendship bracelet.”
Sadie smiled wide and lowered her head for Birdie to place the crown in her hair. When she was done, my daughter practically leaped into Sadie’s arms. The two of them shared a long hug, and then Birdie went right back to asking about dessert. She wanted to make sure I set aside two helpings of her cookies so they didn’t sell out. But while my daughter snapped back to business as usual, I felt like I’d just had my world rocked, and I needed a drink to calm myself down a bit. So I called the waiter over to bring Sadie and me a bottle of pinot noir.
After, I looked over at my two princesses and prayed that tonight after Birdie went to sleep, the revelation I would make didn’t leave me with only one.Sadie brought Birdie back to her room to help take her hair down and get her ready for bed. In the meantime, I paced. And paced some more. Sadie still suspected something wasn’t right with me despite my best efforts to put on an act during dinner. Her demeanor clearly showed that she was onto me. I doubted I would even have to be the first to start addressing my behavior once she came out from Birdie’s room. I knew she’d call me out on it once my daughter was safely out of earshot. Honestly, I hoped she did. Because I had no idea how I was going to even begin to broach the subject if she didn’t.
Still pacing in the living room, I watched as Sadie slowly closed Birdie’s bedroom door. Sadie looked so beautiful with her hair now down in loose tendrils. Her evening gown was a little wrinkled. The sight of her leg exposed through the slit on the side of the dress managed to make me aroused despite my mood.
Her expression was sullen as she slowly walked over to me. She placed her hands around my face and positioned me to look into her eyes.
“What’s happening? Am I losing you?” she asked. “Is this too much?”
My heart sank as I closed my eyes and took both of her hands to my mouth. “No. No, Sadie. The last thing I ever want is to lose you. I can promise you that.” Blowing a deep breath out, I found the courage to add, “But I’m afraid I stand a very good chance at that after what I’m about to tell you.”
A look of alarm flashed across her beautiful face as she pulled slightly away from me. “What is it? You’re scaring me.”
Reaching my hand out to her, I silently led her back into my bedroom. We needed to be as far away from my daughter’s room as possible for this conversation.
After leading her onto my bed, I turned the lamp on. I lay across from her as we faced each other and looped my fingers in with hers. It took a few seconds to conjure up the strength to get the first words out.