“I’m not like that,” he says, huffing out.
“That is exactly who you are. Now you have to decide what kind of man do you want to be?”
“I want to be me!” he shouts, making me glare at him.
“Then be you,” I tell him.
“So, you can’t be with that person,” he says. “The second guy.”
“I won’t be with that person ever. I won’t be in a relationship if I have to second-guess my worth.” I wipe the tear away, feeling more hurt than I thought I would. “I will not second-guess my worth.”
“No one is asking you to,” he says.
“But you do—every single time you grab the blonde or the brunette and squeeze them in for a picture. I can’t do it,” I say softly. “I wouldn’t expect you to accept me that way, just as I don’t expect you to make me accept you like that.”
“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings,” he says and then walks to the door. “And for the record, they don’t mean anything to me. It’s just a part of my job. Take care, Layla.” He says my name and walks out of my house. I wait a few minutes before I move and lock the door, walking then to my purse and taking out my phone.
I look at his contact, and everything in me screams to block his number. But my fingers don’t do it. I don’t touch anything. I press the button, closing off the screen, and then a text comes through.
Miller: I’m sorry I can’t be that guy.
I power off my phone. “I’m sorry, too,” I say to the universe.Chapter 20MillerAs I drive away from her house, my heart is crushed like it’s never been before. I play the day over and over in my head. Showing her that part of me was something I didn’t take lightly. I’m not ashamed of it, but I love doing it just because there isn’t a big deal made from it. When I walk onto that fourth floor, I’m just a regular guy being invited in to help these kids forget they are sick for just a little bit.
When I pull up to my house, I see she hasn’t texted me back. To be honest, there really isn’t anything she can say. Unlocking the door, I make my way to my bedroom without turning on any lights.
I pack my bag to pass the time and try not to think about what she said, but I hear the words over and over again. I don’t have two sides, I tell myself, and when I go to bed that night, all I can do is hear “I like you but ...”
I’m cranky as fuck when I get to the airport and park my car. My shades are blocking the circles around my eyes from having the worst night of my life. I grumble to a couple of the guys who say hello to me and stand on the side while they bring the stairs out to load the plane that is parked there.
“Hey,” Manning says when he walks in a couple of minutes later. I nod at him, and he just stands there with his phone in his hand. I don’t even know what he’s scrolling since the guy refuses to be on social media. “This week is going to be a long one.”
I look over at him. “It’ll be good to get away,” I finally say, and I see he wants to ask me something, but he just looks ahead as Ralph gets here. With his bag hanging on his shoulder, he grumbles hello to us, and we grumble back.
We load up the plane. I sit by myself, and I look back to see Manning sitting by himself, and Ralph sitting across from me by himself. I take the baseball cap on my head and put it over my face and just zone out while we fly to Winnipeg.
When the plane touches down, I look out the window and am shocked by the amount of snow on the ground. “Shit,” I say. “I didn’t pack a jacket,” I say, looking at Ralph, who just furrows his eyebrows.
“Dude, we’re on a road trip to Canada in November. Were you expecting palm trees?” He laughs at me.
“I think someone is going to have to go shopping,” Manning says from behind me.
I get up and grab my bag. My balls freeze the minute I step out of the plane, and apparently, I’m the only one who didn’t pack for this trip properly. “Rookie mistake,” Ralph says, shaking his head as we walk to the waiting bus. I rush in taking the first open seat, rubbing my hand together.
“So does that mean you won’t come shopping with me?” I ask, and he puts his head back.
“No,” he says and then looks at me.