“Are you okay?” Kimberly’s voice makes me look down at her. Oh my God, I think to myself, she must think I’m here with her. I look up and see her walking to Candace as she smiles at her and hugs her. I see her going to Ralph and giving him a hug also, and I want to run over to her and take her in my arms. I want to ask her how she has been doing. I want to tell her that I have thought about her every single day. I want to tell her that it doesn’t fucking matter that she was married. I want to tell her all that, and I want all of that with her. “Um, Miller.” Kimberly laughs now uncomfortably. My eyes fly back to Kimberly. “Do you have to go?”
“Um,” I say and then look back up when I hear Nico beside me.
“Hey, Miller, can I borrow you for a minute?” he says, and I just smile at Kimberly.
“Okay, but first, I have to do something,” I tell him, and he shakes his head.
“I need you, Ralph, and Manning for a photo op,” Nico says, looking around and spotting Manning and Ralph, who nod at him when he motions with his hand. I look around the room and see her mingling and saying hello to everyone. Her purse is in one hand while she shakes with the other hand. Her hair is longer than I remember. She must feel me watching her because she turns back around, and for a split second, our eyes meet again. I wonder if she can see how much I miss her. I wonder if she knows that I spent all of Christmas Day thinking about her. I spent the past month building up the courage to go to her, hoping she didn’t slam the door in my face.
“What do you need?” Manning says, and I turn my head, hoping that this goes fast so I can get to her. My hands itch to touch her if just for a second. My heart yearns to just be next to her.
“We need to get a couple of shots of the four of us,” Nico says. “Let's go over there.” He points at the photo station setup.
I don’t know how long I spend there posing for pictures. The girls have us changing places and then switching around, and I am about to snap when she finally says, “I think I got it.”
Without listening to anything else, I just walk to the dance floor and look around the room for her. I turn in a circle as I look for her everywhere. I finally spot Candace walking back into the venue and run to her. “Where is Layla?” I ask. She looks down and looks back up again, and I can see the tears in her eyes.
“She’s gone,” she says, and my stomach sinks. “I just walked her out.” Her voice is low. “She had a headache.” I nod at her, and I know she wants to say more, but she doesn’t.
“Okay.” I turn around and make my way out of the room. Walking out of the building, I hope that maybe the universe will work in my favor for once, but it won’t be tonight.
I walk back into the hotel and make my way up to my room. There are people everywhere, and thankfully no one stops me. Taking the card out of my pocket, I hold it up to the lock, and the door opens. I walk over and sit on the bed in the dark room. The only light coming inside is from the open curtains.
I put my head back and get up, shrugging off my jacket when I hear the sound of people yelling and counting down. Then the sound of fireworks going off out of my window. I walk over and look outside. “Happy New Year, gorgeous,” I say to the sky.
My phone pings in my pocket, and my heart speeds up thinking it could be her, but it’s just from my parents saying Happy New Year.
I open my Instagram to post when I see her picture. She is right next to Grandma Nancy. Her eyes look wet from crying, and the tip of her nose is red. I wonder how old this picture is. I look down and see it was posted twenty-seven seconds ago. I also see that it’s from Grandma Nancy’s account. I started following her the day after our “date.” I also see there are more photos, and when I swipe right, I have to sit down. It’s another selfie, but this time, she is looking at the camera with her thumb under her eye, wiping a tear as she tries to smile. I notice it’s the same shirt she was wearing tonight. I can’t stop staring at the picture. I can’t stop thinking of how she looked tonight. My chest tightens even more when I see the caption.