Only One Chance (Only One 2)

“I spent it with Grandma, but then I came home and cried.” She smiles shyly. “I cried a lot this month. I would go to bed and wake up sobbing. It was too hard. Watching you on television every night and then talking about you as if you were a stranger, as if my heart wasn’t broken. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was going to ask to be transferred tomorrow.”

The thought that she would have just left without me knowing is like a kick in the balls.

“I was so stupid.” I kiss her lips. “Tonight after the game, I skated off the ice, and I went looking for you. I almost ran down a couple of reporters, and then I found some lady who works with the radio station, and she said you left because you weren’t feeling well. I played the whole game so you could be proud of me. I played, hoping you would see me, and when I got off, all I wanted was you. I wanted to hug you and kiss you. I needed you by my side.” I look down. “I never moved on.” I repeat the words that she threw in my face. “I was dancing with Patrick’s sister. When I saw you walk in, my heart … it just started beating. You were so beautiful I had no words, and then you smiled and walked away, and I was just stuck. All I could think was I had to get to you, but then you were gone.”

“I went there to try to win you back,” she tells me, and my breath hitches in my chest. “I was going to tell you that I love you and hoped that you loved me, too. But then I just … I …” She brings her hand up and rubs away a tear with the back of her thumb. “I wanted you to be happy, so if she made you happy, I had to accept it.”

“You,” I tell her. “You are my happy. You are my everything. You.” I kiss her lips. “I’m sorry,” I say softly. “I’m so sorry that I wasted this whole month.”

“I’m not,” she says, and she smiles. “I don’t think I would have known how much I love you had this not happened. I knew that what I was feeling was love. I knew that I was teetering on uncharted territory. We just clicked so easily, and it wasn’t even a struggle. It just came so naturally that I thought it was all in my head, and then I didn’t have you, and I knew.” She puts her hands on my chest. “I knew that you …” She smiles as two tears roll down her cheeks. “Had wormed your way into my heart.” She laughs and shakes her head. “I know it’s crazy to even say. It’s only been a little while, and well …”

I grab her face in my hands. “I get it. I know now that you are a piece of me. I know that I want to be with you all the time. I want you to be there when I get home, and I want to wake up with you next to me. I want to hold your hand and take you out. I want them to know that there is no me without you.”

“Make love to me,” she says. I peel her sweater off her and toss it aside. Her tank top is a little bit loose on her.

I just stare at her, and she hugs her waist. “I know I lost a bit of weight.”

“Nothing that a few carbs and a little love can’t cure.” I smile at her and then look up. “I don’t have a condom.” I want to kick my own ass right now.

“I haven’t been with anyone,” she says and then looks down. I can imagine what’s going through her mind.

I put my finger under her chin and raise her head until she is looking in my eyes. “There has been no one.” I see her breathe a sigh of relief. “Are you on the pill?” I ask, and I suddenly realize I don’t give a shit if she gets pregnant.

“I am,” she says, and I slide her tank top off, tossing it over to where her sweater is. She pulls my shirt apart, and I see a button fly. “I missed you,” she says. Wrapping her arms around my shoulders, she squeezes our bare chests together. My lips crash onto hers as I spin us, placing her down on her back. Her legs open for me, and I sit back to grab her shorts and peel them over her hips when she arches her back.

She lies there in front of me naked, and my mouth waters. “Every single day, I would go to bed thinking of your face. Every day, I would fall asleep to my memories of holding you. Of you saying my name.” I unbutton my pants, pulling them down as she just watches me.