Only One Kiss (Only One 1)

“So, traditionalist?” I scratch the scruff on my face, ignoring the burning in my stomach.

She shrugs. “Not really, but I want the white dress and the whole wedding. I want to have a house with a white picket fence. I want the fairy tale that I’ve always read about.” Her eyes glitter, and then she stops talking. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean . . .”

I hold up my hand to stop her. “Please don’t.” I shrug, not saying another word. “I was actually going to get going,” I say, lying. “I want to make sure that she takes a bath and sticks to her routine.” I wonder what story she heard, and who she heard it from. I mean, it’s not a secret that Cassie died in childbirth since it was all over the media. I just know from one person to the other, stories change, and I wonder what story she heard. I swallow down the lump in my throat, thinking to myself that no one knows the real story. No one knows me, for that matter.

She gets up, holding Ari to her chest. “Do you want to go say goodbye before you take her?” she asks, and I wonder why I didn’t think of that before I said I was leaving.

“Yeah, that sounds good,” I say and turn around, leaving her. I walk outside, hearing someone laugh and then suddenly see Zara try to hide behind Evan who just looks at someone else. I walk over to Justin who stands with his arm around Caroline as she slips her arms around his waist as they talk to his parents. “Hey,” I say, and they look at me. “I’m going to get going. Candace has Ari, and she’s sleeping so . . .”

“Aw, man, already?” Justin says. “How about we meet up before I leave town?”

“I’d love it,” I say, and five minutes later, I’ve said goodbye to everyone. I walk in, getting the diaper bag. I find Candace walking back and forth at the front door, and she looks up.

“I can take her,” I offer.

“I don’t want to wake her,” she says and opens the door. “I can put her in the car seat, but you should start the truck beforehand, so she doesn’t sweat,” she suggests. I walk out of the house to the truck and start it, opening the door to air out the interior. After a minute, Candace comes out and smiles at me.

“Do you know how to put her in?” I ask, and she looks at the seat and nods.

“I have the same one in my car.” She leans in and holds Ari’s head while she places her gently in the seat. Ari’s eyes open and then close again as she straps her in and brings the seat belt up to the middle of her chest. She shuts the door. “She should be out for a while since she finished the whole bottle,” she says, handing me the empty bottle.

“Thank you,” I say, grabbing the bottle from her. “For having us and for putting her to sleep.”

“It was my pleasure.” She smiles and then nods her head and walks back into her house, leaving me in the middle of her street watching her. She gets to her door, then turns around and waves before walking into the house. I hop in my truck, put my glasses on, and take myself home.

I don’t think of her again for the rest of the night. That’s a lie. I think about her when I’m giving Ari a bath, and when I ask her how she liked meeting everyone. She plays with her brush as I blow raspberries on her stomach. “Did you like all the kids? Did you like meeting Justin and Caroline?” I ask, skipping Candace as Ari moves her hands up and down, and yells at me with a gummy smile.

After putting her pjs on and combing her brown hair to the side, I ask, “Are you ready for your bottle?” Walking to the kitchen with her on my hip, I warm her bottle and then head back to her room to read her a book. We have the same routine every night. I grab the book and notice the pages are already starting to fray. When I finish the last word in the story, I look down and see the bottle is coming out of her mouth. I get up and place her on her back in the middle of the crib. Her head falls to the side, and ignoring the voice in the back of my head, I count my blessings that I have her in my life.

“Good night, Angel,” I say, and then right before I walk out of the room, I look over at the wall where Cassie’s picture is. “I’m sorry, Cass,” I whisper, walking away.