Only One Kiss (Only One 1)

“I did not keep this a secret from you,” she says, and I shake my head. How is this happening right now? Tonight was amazing laughing, dancing, holding her hand; it was fucking perfect and then hearing her gush to the other women about kids. My heart sank, my stomach sank, and I knew I should have just made an excuse and left her there. “Ralph.” She calls my name. “You’re an amazing father. Why would you not have more children?”

I snap and slam my hand down on the counter, the rage ripping through me, and I roar out, “Dammit, Cassie, I’m not having anymore kids!”Chapter 31CandaceI knew the minute we sat in the car that something was off, and now here it is. “Dammit, Cassie, I’m not having anymore kids!” he roars. I take a step back, and it feels like he just slapped me in the face. But nothing could hurt more than my heart being shattered in my chest.

“Candace,” I say my name. “My name is Candace, not Cassie.” He looks at me, and I shake my head. I don’t say anything to him. I just turn and walk out of the room.

“Candace,” he says. I feel his hand wrap around my arm and yank it away from him.

“Don’t touch me,” I hiss. “Don’t ever fucking touch me.” I can’t stop the tears even if I wanted to. This night was so perfect with us as a couple. No one really said anything, but we got looks. I held his hand softly and danced with him, and I could not be happier.

“I . . .” he starts to say. “I—”

“You nothing,” I say. “I don’t want to know, and I definitely don’t want to hear it.” I look around one last time, knowing I will never come back here. “I think it’s fitting,” I say, taking all the courage and strength that I have in me, and there isn’t much. “I fell in love with you in this room while you cooked,” I say finally. I have wanted to tell him I love him every single day, but I stopped myself. Thinking we had time. “It’s only fitting that I fall out of love with you in the same room.” I look down at my hands that are shaking, and I try to stop them from shaking. “Goodbye, Ralph.”

“Candace.” His voice is broken, but I don’t turn back. Instead, I grab his car keys from the table and walk out of the house. “Candace, please listen to me,” he says, following me.

“I’ll have your car returned to you tomorrow,” I say, getting in and turning on the car. I close the door and lock it just in case he swings it open.

“No,” he says. “Please listen. I made—” I pull out of the driveway, and the tears fall down one after another. I don’t know how I make it home, but when I do, I pull out my phone, seeing that I have forty-five missed calls from Ralph. I walk into the house, not turning on the lights, and I pick up the phone, not even sure what time it is.

He answers after one ring, and just the sound of his voice makes me sob. “I need help,” I say, and I can hear the rustling of covers.

“Where are you?”

“Home,” I say. “I’m home.”

“Zara, call Matthew.” I hear Evan say. “Cand.”

“It hurts, Evan,” I say, rubbing the pain in my chest. “It hurts so much.”

“Are you hurt?” he asks, frantic, and I hear Zara in the background telling him that it’s going to be okay.

“I can’t be here. I have to leave,” I say, looking around the bedroom.

“I’m coming to get you,” he says, and then Zara gets on the phone.

“Candace,” she says my name softly, and I shake. My body is shaking.

“I’m . . .” I start to say. “I love him.” My teeth clatter. “He called me Cassie.”

“Oh my God,” she says. “Listen, Matthew is getting the plane, and we are taking off in thirty minutes.”

“I can’t stay here.” I look around. “I don’t want to see him.”

“Okay, listen, you need to go pack a bag and meet us at the small airport,” she says, and I want to answer her, but I can’t.

“I can’t stop shaking,” I say. “I’m . . .”

“I’m going to fucking kill him.” I hear Evan in the background. “Listen to me,” he says, grabbing the phone from Zara. “We are going to be there in four hours,” he says to me. “I’m sending you a car that is going to pick you up in an hour.”

“Okay,” I say, lying on the bed. I’m looking out, replaying the whole scene in the kitchen. His eyes were so guarded, and then he was so angry. I’ve never seen him that way, and never has he raised his voice to me. The phone falls from my hand as I lie here shaking, the tears soaking through my pillow. I force myself to get off the bed and slip out of the dress. I take off the special bra and panties that I wore, thinking this night would end up so much more different. I throw them in the trash and pack my bags. I ignore the buzzing from my phone, and I ignore the pain in my whole body. It’s almost like I’m on autopilot except everywhere I look, I see him in my space. I go to get my laptop, and there on top is the blanket that Ari likes to be wrapped in when she lays on the couch. I walk to it and pick it up, bringing it to my nose and smelling her.