“You are walking in the opposite direction of the auction,” he points out, folding his gloved hands at his waist.
“So I am,” I respond with a tight smile. “I have decided not to participate.”
His brows draw together. “That is a terrible shame.” He pauses, studying me closely. “I’d hoped to outbid the others.”
Surely I didn’t hear him correctly. “I’m sorry, Your Majesty?”
“I’ve been an observer at the events, and though I didn’t expect to procure a queen in such an archaic manner, I witnessed you behave in a way that befits royalty. In my short time on the throne, I’ve found such qualities as compassion and selflessness very hard to find.” He flicks a glance back in the direction of Corbet’s tent. “Am I too late? Are you spoken for, Lady Gwen?”
Am I still asleep by Corbet’s side, having a wild dream? Or is the king of Lavere, my own homeland, asking me to be his queen?
I look around at the Joining and see the world behaving as usual. The wind dances upon my neck. I am definitely awake. The king of Lavere has a good reputation, even if he’s rumored to enjoy his wine a little too much. And I suppose he is handsome, though he is slight of frame and far from a warrior, like Corbet. This man is offering me stability. A title. A future for my sisters. I’ve only just decided to go it alone, to take on more work and find a solution that doesn’t include a man, but will I really turn down this offer to be queen? Who am I to turn up my nose at a position that could see my family flourish, instead of scrape by?
How can I deny my sisters this opportunity?
The king waits for my answer to his question. Is he too late?
In one way, he is. My heart belongs to another.
My hand does not. But I no longer have my virtue to offer a husband.
“If you fear yourself ruined, I promise you…” He chuckles. “I’ve done worse.”
A laugh carries out of me on a breath. And though my heart is wrenching sideways, visions of Corbet circling my mind, I say, “Then, no, Your Majesty. You are not too late.”* * *CorbetWhen I wake up, my intuition is screaming that something is wrong.
For one, Gwen is not in my arms and that will never, ever be right.
But there’s more. There’s a sharp clarity to my thoughts. I’m wide awake and balanced on the edge of a cliff. Or maybe I’ve been there for a very long time, fighting the wind at my back that threatens to knock me off. There are jagged rocks below, waiting to shred my bones when I land. However, I’ve never actually looked down, have I? I’ve just assumed I will meet certain doom below.
Now, though, I look.
And it’s nothing but a soft meadow.
Gwen is there, wrapped in sunshine and waiting for me.
Her words from earlier come drifting back, muffled as if spoken from a great distance.
You will be ready to take a chance on love someday. You’ll judge a person based on their actions and you won’t see them through the lens of your past. I promise.
I see Gwen swapping her pie with the fair-haired woman.
I see her losing her place in the water carrying race so she can help a friend.
And it’s never been more obvious that I’ve been a fucking idiot.
Now that I’ve unburdened myself of my life’s darkest days, there is no lens of ugliness. The scars are still there, but they’re faded. I might be a fighter, I might have littered battlefields with the corpses of my enemies, but I’ve been living life…scared. Scared of being betrayed again. Or left out in the cold.
But how can I use the lessons of my past to judge my relationship with Gwen?
One is night and one is day.
All this time, I thought I was pulling her closer, but there was always going to be a wall between us until I realized…I’m safe with her. My heart is safe in her hands.
But her heart?
It wasn’t safe with me.
I’ve asked this incredible woman to sell herself short.
I’ve asked her to be my mistress when she is destined to rule.
Jesus. I should have been begging her to be my wife.
Now there is a terrible hammering in my head telling me I waited too long. And the foreboding I felt earlier makes sense now.
She was never agreeing to be my mistress, she was saying goodbye.
My heart flies up into my mouth and remains there as I get dressed. I bust through the opening of my tent, then realize I don’t know where she will be. The auction is set to begin soon, but will she be part of it now that her innocence is gone? Women have been known to claim their virginity is intact in order to be part of the contest, but Gwen is too honest for that. No, she would have gone to get her sisters.