Molly nodded, not sure why she was. She wasn’t agreeing with him; he hadn’t said anything that begged for agreement. She couldn’t think of anything to say. They sat together for a rather long, silent period that he finally broke.
“You got mad when I mentioned abortion.”
“I think I was mad in general,” she said ruefully.
“So you’re not discounting the possibility?”
She studied him narrowly. Was that his preference? She wanted anger to rise, but couldn’t make it. Of course that’s what he’d be hoping Caitlyn chose to do. He was Trevor’s father; his first interest had to be his son, and there was no question abortion provided an out for Trevor. No fuss, no muss, problem gone. He was unlikely to have any later qualms, the way Cait might.
And that, naturally, was part of why Molly tightened every time she thought about Cait going that route. Trevor didn’t deserve a Pass-Go-Collect-Two-Hundred-Dollars card.
But Molly knew that the possibility of down-the-line regret wasn’t the whole reason she hated desperately to think of Cait undergoing an abortion.
“This is your grandchild, too, that we’re talking about,” she pointed out.
He closed those so dark eyes. “Grandfather. God.”
She couldn’t tell him the other reason the whole concept bothered her. It was personal, and had nothing to do with what was right for Cait.
“Ultimately it has to be her decision,” Molly said.
He looked at her again. “You don’t think Trevor should have a voice?”
“Was he even admitting to any responsibility?”
He heard the barb in her question, but didn’t rise to it. “Be fair. You and Caitlyn had some time to process. What happened tonight was pretty much a knockout punch for him. Give him a chance to stagger to his feet.”
He was right, which made Molly feel ashamed again. “We’ll…keep you informed,” she said stiffly.
“You’ll do more than that.” His voice was hard. “This is Trevor’s baby, too. If it’s given up for adoption, he’d need to sign to relinquish his parental rights, just like your daughter will. If there are financial consequences, he’ll bear them. He has to have a part in this decision. He and Caitlyn are in it together.”
“When he won’t even return her phone calls?”
“That was then. This is now.”
“What if he’s not interested?”
“Let me be more accurate. We’re all in this together.”
“So one of the Wards is taking responsibility?” Oh, that was low. Even before she saw his expression, she wished she could pull the words back.
“Responsibility—” he rose to his feet “—is my middle name. I was barely nineteen when Trevor was born. As big an idiot as he is, except I thought my girlfriend was on the pill. But you know what? I married her without one accusation. Was it the right thing to do? I still don’t know. But, by God, I took responsibility.” He sounded unutterably weary. “Even as big a jackass as he’s been lately, I don’t wish Alexa had had an abortion. So don’t tell me I’m pushing your daughter that way. I was asking you to talk to me, that’s all.”
Throat thick, she stood, too. Oh, heavens, how many times tonight had they popped up and down? “Can I say I’m sorry again?”
“I meant it when I said let’s ditch the apologies. Maybe neither of us is at our best. We need to talk again, but obviously this isn’t the time. I’ll give you a call, or you can call me.”
“Yes.”
“Good.” He nodded and left before she could pull herself together.
She couldn’t seem to do anything but stand where she was, staring after him even though she’d heard the front door open and close. Quietly, unlike when his son tore out of her house.
Had tonight’s meeting—confrontation—helped in any way? Or had she only ramped up the hostility? Molly hated this overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. It made her realize how arrogant she’d been, even though now it was easy to see that life hadn’t been as perfect as she’d wanted to believe it was.
She only wished that if she had to be brought crashing down, Cait hadn’t had to go with her.
* * *
TREVOR RAN UNTIL HIS breath was whistling in and out and his lungs were on fire. He ran harder than he had even when he’d been determined to win every sprint, to be the best. He ended up in Terrace Park. With dusk having descended, it was dark under the trees. He walked up to one, wrapped his arms around it and laid his cheek against the bark. Ground his cheek against it. With shock he heard the sob and realized it had come from him.