straight, her demeanor dignified. “Scripps College. It’s
really small…”
“And a women’s college.” Fiona nodded. “I know
of it.”
“I don’t know how to tell my parents, but that’s
where I want to go. Because it’s small. Students were
really friendly when I visited. I felt like I belonged. At
Stanford I felt small and unimportant.”
“Have you told your parents that?” Fiona asked gently.
Her black hair shimmered when she shook her head.
“They took you to visit Scripps.”
“Actually we went to see Pomona. You know, they’re
right next to each other. But it’s a bigger deal. So, while
we were there we toured Scripps and Claremont and
Harvey Mudd. They all kind of share facilities, and
students can take classes at any of the colleges.”
Fiona nodded again.
Erin looked down at her hands, pressed flat on the
desk. “I didn’t tell them I’d applied to Scripps instead
of Pomona.”
“Ah.”
Her eyes were filled with desperation when she
looked up. “So you see…”
“I don’t know your parents well, but they have
always seemed to want the best for you.”
Erin bit her lip. “That’s why…”
“Have they ever given you reason to think that they
wouldn’t be happy with what you think is best for you?”
That seemed to confuse Erin for a moment. “No-o,”
she finally said, doubtfully. “They just were so excited
when I got the acceptance from Stanford.”
“Talk to them,” Fiona advised. “If they have problems
with your decision, I’d be glad to speak to them.”
“Okay.” Erin took a deep breath and stood, her poise
restored. “Thank you. I needed someone to tell me I’m
not making a really horrible decision.”
Fiona laughed. “You’re not. Come back tomorrow
and tell me what they said.”
The next day the girl stopped by Fiona’s desk on the
way into class. Her smile was shy but happy. “Mom
said she loved Scripps, too. They don’t seem disappointed at all!”
“It is in the top tier of liberal arts colleges in the nation.”
“I just thought…Stanford sounds more prestigious.
But I mailed my acceptance to Scripps today. I’m
really excited.”
It was as if all their lives were coming together, Fiona
reflected, paying attention that day as she saw them
coming and going. Willow and Dieter had blossomed
because of their romance, Hopper was his usual happy-
go-lucky self, Kelli and Tabitha both seemed to be
working harder this semester with a resulting improvement in grades, Erin and Troy were prepared for the exciting step of leaving for college, and even Amy,
another teacher reported, seemed to have a better attitude.
Only mine sucks, Fiona thought, checking her e-mail
before she put away the milk she’d bought on the way
home. And, of course, being once again disappointed.
She had a good life. A satisfying life. But aside from
that, she’d been right to say no to John. She knew she
had. The decision hadn’t been about what she would be
giving up. It had been about what kind of relationship
they would have, and whether either of them would have
been content with whatever that had turned out to be.
Unfortunately knowing she’d been right didn’t seem
to lessen her depression.
She had an exciting dinner of tomato soup from a
can and a grilled cheese sandwich, then tried to work
on a paper she was writing for a class in educational
psychology.
Fiona was about to give up after struggling first with
a paragraph for what had to be half an hour, then searching for another fifteen minutes for a reference she knew she’d jotted down. Somewhere. The sound of the
doorbell was a relief, even though it was unusual
enough on a weeknight to make her a little apprehensive.
She looked through the peephole and stared. Distorted though the face was, it looked for all the world like John Fallon. How could he be here? Had she ever
even given him her address?
Her knees felt weak and her heart drummed as she
fumbled with the locks and flung the door open.