Still. Why, oh why, was it taking so long to find a place for Julia and Arturo to go? Didn’t Mateo understand how dangerous her situation was? The whole network could be at risk.
The deep sound of an engine made her stiffen. As she saw headlights turn into her drive, she was glad she hadn’t turned on the outside light. She’d have felt unbearably exposed.
It wasn’t too late to go in, before he saw her.
No. This was a good time to talk to him, to feel him out, and she had determined to seize it.
The Suburban rolled to a stop by the barn. A moment later it went dark and silent. The door slammed, and Conall strolled across the yard toward the house. One of the horses whickered softly and Conall’s head turned but he kept walking.
She knew the exact moment he saw her.
CHAPTER FOUR
HE DIDN’T SAY anything until he reached the foot of the steps. She could see him better than he could probably see her, as light shining through the living room window fell on his face as he stopped.
His voice was deep and quiet. “Enjoying some peace and quiet?”
“Something like that. I actually came out to feed the horses.”
“Kids okay?”
She liked that he asked, but didn’t trust him. “All asleep except Sorrel.”
His shoulders moved slightly. “Teenagers tend to be night owls.”
“She’s only thirteen.”
“She looks older,” he said thoughtfully.
“She, um, acts older than that in some ways. Younger in others.”
“Is that a warning?”
Lia frowned. “I suppose it is. She’s rather drawn to men.”
“Ah.”
She hesitated, unsure whether to say more. Sorrel was in counseling. Lia didn’t like exposing her kids’ problems to anyone unnecessarily. Surely neither of the two men, federal agents, would behave inappropriately toward a thirteen-year-old girl.
After a moment, she said, “What I really wanted to talk to you about is the boys.”
Hearing how aggressively that had come out, she winced. His expression had been reserved; now it closed completely. Bang. All access denied. She’d blown it.
“I’m sorry,” she said hastily. “That didn’t come out the way I meant it to. The thing is, they’re…vulnerable.”
“And I should have kept my mouth shut at dinnertime.” His tone was resigned. “Understood.”
“No.” She bent her head and bumped it on her crossed arms, then lifted it again. “It’s not that at all. Everything you said was…right. They opened up to you.”
He stared at her. She imagined he’d tensed, but couldn’t be sure. He was very, very good at hiding what he was thinking.
“Okay,” he said slowly.
“I don’t want you being nice to them if you don’t mean it.” She’d gone from belligerent to fierce and didn’t regret it. “If you keep being nice, they’re going to—” She had to swallow, and still her voice came out small and cracked. “Depend on you.”
“And I won’t be around for long.”
“It’s not that,” she said again. “I won’t be a permanent part of their lives, either.” Why did saying that out loud make her feel as if her heart was breaking in two? Kids came, kids left. That’s what she did. “They know you’re only here for a while. What would be bad is if you talk to them, spend time with them, and then blow them off.”
“I see.” He paused. “Let me think about it, okay?”
“Okay.” She hugged her knees harder. “Was what you told them true? About your parents and your brother?”
Still he didn’t move, his expression didn’t change. His eyes were too shadowed in the limited light for her to read them, assuming she could have.
“Yes.”
Lia nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you, but sorry isn’t necessary. I haven’t been a kid in a long time.”
She wondered if he’d ever been a kid after his mom walked out. Or was he even before that? His couldn’t exactly have been an ideal family.
“Even so.”
“All right.” He finally put a foot on the first step. “You planning to stay out here long?”