“You didn’t know I was crazy in love with you?”
“I hoped.” He grunted at a memory like a body blow. “Do you have any idea how I felt when you informed me that all you were to me was an extension on kitchen and bathroom privileges?” He gave her a small shake. “You didn’t really think that.”
She huffed. “You didn’t give the slightest indication you were falling in love with me.”
“Do you really think every time I go out on a job I spend more time hanging around a woman and her kids than I do working?”
“Um…no?”
“You’re right. No.”
“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings,” she said softly.
No one in his life had ever apologized for hurting his feelings. No surprise when he’d done his damnedest to convince everyone he didn’t have any.
“Not your fault.” That came out gruff. He nudged her braid to one side and kissed her neck. Here came the hard part. “Lia… Do you love me enough to marry me?”
For a second she didn’t move, didn’t breathe. Then she lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
“I’m sure.”
She searched his eyes; he waited.
“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, of course I will. Only…”
Conall tensed. “Only what?”
“I’ve applied to adopt Walker and Brendan.”
He stared. “Well, of course we’ll adopt them.” Then he said sheepishly, “Well, I guess I shouldn’t make assumptions. You’ve chosen to foster and not adopt, and that’s okay if you want to keep taking in kids, but Walker and Brendan… They need us.”
“I think they do, too.”
He sighed. “You’ll have to quit taking in kids that are in this country illegally, though, Lia. I enforce the law. I can’t be involved in breaking it.”
“No, I understand.” She smiled crookedly. “It would be hard to keep making connections wherever you get sent anyway.”
Conall realized she didn’t know what he’d really been asking of her. She thought he was keeping his job, that he’d be uprooting her and the boys whenever he got transferred to a different field office, that she’d often be left behind coping alone when he disappeared on operations like this one and others far more dangerous. The fact that she’d been willing to do that, to give up her home, her friends, everything she knew for him, left him stunned.
“Lia, I’m turning in my resignation.”
“What?”
“When I said I want what I had here with you, I meant it. This house feels more like home than anyplace I’ve ever been. The yard is great for the boys. What would you do with the horses if we moved? We can get a dog,” he said with sudden enthusiasm. “I wanted a dog when I was the boys’ age.”
“But what will you do?”
He grinned. “Did I tell you Duncan offered me a job?”
“You’d do that?” she said in astonishment.
“Like I told him, when hell freezes over. But the idea of local law enforcement appeals to me.” His mouth trailed along her jaw. “I want to come home every night.”
“You won’t be bored?”
He lifted his head, taking her question seriously. “I don’t think so. I used to get a charge out of what I did. I loved drug buys, walking that tightrope, knowing each time that you have to act like you’ve never acted before, otherwise you’re dead. I liked busts. I liked danger, I liked winning.” He gave a short laugh. “Truth is it was like a grown-up version of a video game, me at the controls yelling, ‘Yee haw.’”
A frown puckered between Lia’s eyebrows. “When I asked, you said you liked the adrenaline.”
“I did. Past tense. I’ve been struggling with that for a while. Maybe as much as a couple of years. Discovering I didn’t get so much of a charge out of the same things anymore. Planning, strategy had gotten more interesting than being one of the players. I told myself I needed higher stakes, bigger busts.” He paused. “I was wrong. I needed something, but that wasn’t it.”