The Hero's Redemption

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

HER LIPS WERE as soft as he’d imagined. Hazily aware that he was gathering her into his arms, Cole had trouble thinking. The pleasure of finally kissing Erin zapped him as if he’d opened himself to an electrical shock.

Shouldn’t have done this.

Too late.

She hadn’t moved at all, not to respond, not to pull away. God. She was probably in shock.

Cole began to lift his head just as Erin rose up on tiptoe to press her lips harder to his. She flung her arms around his neck, too. The kiss became clumsy and desperate. He nipped her lower lip: their teeth clanked together. If he’d ever had any skill at this, it had atrophied from disuse. Which didn’t seem to matter, because her body was plastered against his, his blood felt thick and hot in his veins, and she was kissing him with as much urgency as he kissed her.

Not one-sided, he thought exultantly. Why he’d started this eluded him. It didn’t seem to matter. Nothing did but the sensations bombarding him—her breasts pressed to his chest, her thighs to his, the quivering intensity running through her body and jumping to his. Her taste, the thick silk of her hair, the little sound she was making.

When his tongue touched hers, it was so damn erotic he jolted.

And thought, What am I doing?

Somehow, he wrenched himself away. One hand hadn’t gotten the message and still squeezed her hip, but at least a few inches separated their bodies.

Erin stared at him, her eyes dazed and heavy-lidded, her lips parted. She blinked, then again, and seemed to realize he wasn’t just catching his breath.

“What…what’s wrong?”

Wrong? Nothing. Everything.

“We can’t do this,” he said hoarsely. “I was…trying to explain something here.”

Her expression slowly changed.

“I already feel like roadkill under the tires of your fancy new SUV. I’d enjoy—” he managed to stop himself from being too crude “—sex with you. I guess you can tell.” He gestured toward his obvious hard-on. “But that’s one thing I’m not willing to do for pay.”

Still she stared, for another second, then cried out and leaped back. “That’s what you think of me?”

“No.” His mouth twisted. “That’s what I think of myself. We’re not equals. We can’t be.” Could she hear how desperately he wished it was different? That he could have her without savaging his pride? “I’m sorry. I owe you so much, I can’t start anything like this.”

She spun away. “Fine. You feel like the hired hand. I get it.” She opened the dishwasher and gazed into it as if she had no idea what the damn thing was.

He felt… He didn’t even know. His fingernails bit into his palms. “I’ll finish what I promised you.”

“Fine,” she said again, but stayed where she was.

Cole backed up until he bumped into the doorframe. He’d been an asshole when he didn’t have to be. He wished he knew what to say to make it all better, to go back fifteen minutes to when they were friends. But so much was churning inside him he couldn’t think.

“Thank you for dinner.”

The sound she made might have been a laugh.

* * *

WHEN SHE WAS sure he was gone, Erin slumped onto a kitchen chair. She labored for breath.

Cole had implied that she’d thrown herself at him. Attacked him. Like she’d expected him to service her in bed because of everything she’d done for him. But he was the one who’d started it. Wasn’t he?

A while back, he’d said something snotty about payback. Maybe that was what this had been. See how scummy you make me feel? Try a little of it, why don’t you? Was humiliation the whole purpose of that kiss?

If so, it had worked. At least she wasn’t crying. She was too stunned. Hurting, but also… She didn’t even know. Why would he do that? Make her feel so much, then lash out so viciously? Was that his version of “thanks, goodbye”? Maybe she’d been totally naive where he was concerned.

If she was careful, perhaps she could avoid seeing him. For all she cared, he could leave the apartment key on the doorstep when he left.

Did she still owe him any money? Erin didn’t think so. She’d stick a note on his apartment door reminding him to return her house key. Not like he’d want to make use of it, she thought painfully. Apparently, that was his message.