The Hero's Redemption

Her mouth seemed to be hanging open. She managed to close it. “But—”

“Go online, Erin. Don’t take my word for it. See what’s being said.”

She managed a nod. Was any of that true? There’d been so little time to react that day. Because I let my attention wander. But…she’d tried to swerve.

“There’s something else.” Cole seemed more hesitant now, his voice more ragged. “You haven’t gone out at night speeding for weeks.”

She hadn’t needed to. The nightmares had receded, too…until last night.

“I want you to promise not to do it again. You survived, Erin. I know you’re happy at least some of the time. If you feel the pull, fight back.” His throat worked. “Please.”

The hoarse plea shook her. Confusion swirled as competing needs battled. Agree, the hurt in her suggested. He’s leaving. He’ll never know.

Maybe not, but she would know. She thought Cole had been honest with her, as she’d tried to be with him. Lying now would feel wrong.

And…what he’d said resonated enough that she suspected he was right. She had stretches of hours now when she didn’t think about the girls, when she did feel happiness in the moment, satisfaction at accomplishments, pleasure in other people’s company. She wasn’t healed…but she might be getting there.

Cole watched her, the hand that lay on the table seeming relaxed. Erin somehow felt sure he wasn’t relaxed at all.

“I promise,” she said, her own voice small and raw. “I won’t deliberately endanger myself.” Death would have to work to find her.

He expelled a harsh breath and his shoulders slumped. “Thank you. I want only good for you.”

“Sure.” She sounded almost careless. “Listen, I’ll clean up. You must have things you need to do.”

Appearing relieved, he took his cue and said good-night. After hearing the door shut behind him, Erin closed her eyes, the pressure in her chest swelling, and wondered what she’d do if it became unendurable.

* * *

IT WASN’T EXACTLY a shock to hear her doorbell the next morning. Erin knew who was here and what he’d say. The temptation was huge to pretend she hadn’t heard it. He could leave her a note. A phone message. But that would be more cowardly than she could accept from herself.

When she opened the door, Cole waited on the porch, bracing his feet apart the way he did when he felt on edge. Erin had no doubt he saw the bruising beneath her eyes that told him how her night had gone. He didn’t look good, either. Except, of course, he did. His gray T-shirt stretched over powerful muscles. Work boots and cargo pants only emphasized his size and strength.

“Cole.” Why hadn’t she done something to her hair besides pull it into a tight ponytail that didn’t flatter her face? Actually getting dressed would’ve been an improvement on the flannel pajama bottoms and oversize, many-times-washed T-shirt, too. But really, what difference did it make? She had no secrets from him.

“I found a place to live that’s close to where I’ll be working,” he said. “I wanted to let you know I’ve vacated the apartment. Here are the keys.” He held out his hand.

They dropped one at a time onto her palm. As she curled her fingers around them, they felt heavier than two keys should. Colder. “If you need any of the furniture…”

He shook his head. “I’ll manage. I can pick stuff up at a thrift store now that I can haul it.”

How could she not have been prepared for this moment? It wasn’t like she hadn’t seen it coming almost from the first. Holding herself together until he was gone…well, she had to do it.

“I’m…really glad for you, Cole. I want you to know that. I’d never want to trap you. That wasn’t my intention. Seeing you succeed…it’s a gift.” Her smile probably wobbled, but she hoped he knew it was genuine. “You’ve come a long way.”

“Mostly thanks to you,” he said huskily.

“No, it’s because you’re the man you are.” She so didn’t want to humiliate herself. “Good luck, Cole.”

He stepped forward, kissed her cheek and swung away. He was halfway down the steps he’d built before she could get the door shut.