Not yet, she thought. It wasn’t too late yet.
She’d find Arabella now, and beg, borrow, or steal money to leave London tonight. The sooner she left, the sooner she’d be at Brinkley End.
Decided, Thea drew back behind the velvet curtain and turned, almost colliding with a large man who had come too close.
He was big and broad, this man, with a great lion’s head over his tousled dark hair, and an intent look in his brandy-colored eyes.
His mouth curved into a half smile.
“There you are,” Rafe said.
The arrangements were cobbled together so hastily, there was the risk Rafe would not find her, but as all the other pieces fell into place smoothly, he had not worried too much. If he could find a tiny flower in the middle of the selva, he could find the woman he loved in the middle of the Prince Regent’s party.
And like magic, he had. He had slipped through the side door into the alcove to watch the play, and there she was. His Thea. He devoured her with his eyes: her hair tumbling in delicate curls, the surprise animating her features, her expressive blue gaze.
It took all his strength not to launch himself at her and haul her into his arms. Tensing every muscle in his tortured body, Rafe prayed, yet again, that this time he had understood. That he had accurately understood Thea’s reasons for leaving and what she needed. That he had finally understood her.
Behind her, the heavy curtains swayed and closed. On the other side of the curtains, actors performed for society. On this side of the curtain lay everything important and real.
Her eyes were suddenly swimming with tears.
“Thea?” Rafe whispered.
Somehow, his hands found hers. She clutched a fan and the Venetian cat mask, but his hands were big enough to hold hers and whatever she carried too.
“I am so sorry,” she blurted out, her voice low and urgent. “I made the wrong choices. I was coming back to you. But…you’re here.”
“I could not wait.” He drew her deeper, into a corner of the alcove. They moved together as easily as if they were both floating. “I heard Ventnor burned your pamphlets. I cannot tell you how much I regret not being there to stop him. I could have stopped him, if only I had come sooner. I’m sorry I let you down.”
“But it does not matter. I’m glad he burned them, because that was how I saw the truth.” Her eyes searched his, frantically. “My story, my reputation, my family: None of it matters. What mattered most was that I lost you.” Her fingers weaved more tightly around his. Something fell to the floor at their feet, but neither paid it any mind. “What I mean is, I love you.”
Rafe’s heart stopped, jolted, tumbled through his body to his knees, and then started up again with as much fervor as if he’d sprinted a mile. Blood rushed in his ears, the audience laughed, but all the noise in the world would not stop him from hearing her words.
“I love you, Rafe, I do, and I have for a long time. I wish I had told you before. Because you should know that you are loved. That you are—you are everything. I should have simply said it, but I was too scared and I got it all wrong, and now you’re here, and I don’t know why you’re here, but everyone’s here, it’s like a dream, and I’m talking too much, and I know you don’t like talking, and you don’t owe me anything but I love you anyway.”
She breathed in deeply, raggedly. Rafe was out of breath too, though he’d not said a word.
“Say something,” she whispered.
He did not dare look away from her, for fear she might disappear. “I understand now, why you had to go. You had to fight your own battles, address your past before you could look to your future. You helped me break free from my past, and you needed to do that for yourself too. I wish I had understood sooner.” He freed one hand, caressed her cheek, chased away the distress haunting her eyes. “You were coming back to me?” he repeated.
“I had to. I resolved to be brave this time. To take a risk, to ask for what is mine. You said you would not come after me, so I vowed to come after you. I vowed to ask you to forgive me and give me another chance.”
“Thea, know that I shall always come after you, as long as you want me. You said you cannot trust the ground on which you walk, but know this: I will be the earth beneath your feet.” He lifted her hands, pressed his lips to her knuckles, and struggled for the words. “I’ve had days to craft a proper marriage proposal, to get it right this time but… I can only tell you that I love you, Thea, fiercely, truly, irrevocably. Just say you’ll have me, and I will be there for you as long as you want me.”
“Always,” she whispered. “Which is precisely as long as I’ll be there for you.”