She met his gaze. “It’s okay, I get it. So how about we end this conversation, and I’ll speak to you tomorrow?”
“How about we don’t, and we finish it now?” Adam countered. “I don’t understand what’s going on.”
“Which is fine, because it’s probably just me being paranoid.” Lizzie sighed. “Which also means it’s better if I don’t say anything and get us into an unnecessary fight.”
“Lizzie, I’m not doing this shit again. We’re not kids anymore.” Adam held her gaze. “Just tell me.”
“You could’ve touched me at the Cortez ranch,” Lizzie blurted out. “There was no one there. But you didn’t, and now you think you’ll get me into bed at my place.”
“Why would I think that?” Adam felt like he was floundering around in a snowstorm. “I wouldn’t assume anything.”
“See?” Lizzie shoved her hair behind her ear. “This is pointless.”
“I did touch you up at the Cortez ranch.” Adam kept talking, desperate to keep her beside him. “It was awesome. I stopped because we’d decided to take things slow. And, I knew that in less than an hour your kid, Rio, and Yvonne were going to descend on us. You know when you went down on me so fast because you had to get back to work? It was like that.”
“Okay.” Lizzie nodded. “I accept what you are saying. I’m sorry for doubting your motives.”
“What goddamn motives?” Adam wasn’t moving until they sorted it out. “And for the record, I don’t believe you accept what I’m saying, either.”
She squared up to him. “I thought you didn’t want to come near me at the ranch because it was Louisa’s home. You disappeared on me superfast when we had an actual empty house with beds.”
“I—” He stared down at her. Had that been a factor? Was there some element of truth in what she’d picked up from him when they’d parked at the ranch? He put his hand on her shoulder. “Lizzie, if that was part of my thinking, I really wasn’t aware of it, but I can’t lie. Having sex with you in the Cortez house would’ve felt wrong somehow.”
“Yeah, I know.” Her shoulders sagged. “I really do get it.” She smiled up at him. “Can I go now? I really do have a lot to do before Roman gets home.”
“As long as we’re good,” Adam replied.
“We are. I’m just tired and worried about Carlos.” She put her key in the lock. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
Adam waited until she disappeared inside and then returned to his truck. On the one hand, he was pleased with himself for making sure he and Lizzie were straight about things, but on the other hand . . . Was he still so tied up with Louisa that he’d automatically dropped Lizzie like a hot potato after he’d reached the ranch? He could’ve found a place to make love to her if he’d really tried. Hell, he could’ve made love to her in the truck if he’d had some protection.
But as soon as he’d reached the ranch, he’d been compelled to walk away from her with a load of excuses that the more he thought about them, the less convincing they sounded. Touching her like that had shaken him, releasing such a need in him that he’d had to walk away to preserve the illusion that he still had a choice.
Adam started the engine. So he hadn’t been honest with Lizzie after all, had he?
* * *
Lizzie stood motionless in her kitchen listening to the roar of Adam’s truck as he drove away. Sometimes, she really did complicate things without even trying. She should’ve kept quiet. Adam probably thought she was way too sensitive. Despite his explanation, she still couldn’t shake the conviction that at some level she was right.
“Have sex . . .” She spoke the words out loud. That’s what Adam was looking forward to—not making love like he had with Louisa—just the sex.
Was that it? Was that what was bugging her? Was she in some strange competition with her best friend who’d been dead for over ten years? That was a horrible thought. Lizzie walked over to the sink and contemplated the pile of dishes she’d left there that morning when she’d gone off so happily with Adam to the Cortez ranch.