He heard it then, that note of uncertainty, like she was still on the outside looking in.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He kissed her slowly. “If you’re okay with that.” He glanced ruefully at the mattress. “I do take up a lot of space.”
“Don’t worry. I’m used to Roman coming in here. He’s a terrible cover hog.”
“Too hot for covers,” Adam commented. “I’m just going to use the bathroom, and I’ll be right back.”
* * *
A while later, Lizzie woke up to a strange buzzing sound in her ear. It took her a few moments to realize she was draped over Adam like a blanket, and that he was gently snoring. She smiled against his muscled chest and breathed him in. Even without his clothes, he still smelled of leather, hay, and the great outdoors, as if they were so much a part of who he was that they never left him.
She got up to use the bathroom and, out of habit, stuck her head into Roman’s bedroom even though she knew he wasn’t there. She went through to the kitchen to get a drink of water, and paused by the window to look down at the quiet moonlit town. Without the traffic, it looked very much as it must have done over a hundred years ago when it was founded. She half expected a posse to come around the corner and swagger up to the old saloon in Hayes Hotel.
Adam Miller was in her bed, and she still couldn’t quite believe he was there....
But neither of them could claim that this time had been a mistake, or an aberration, or a moment of shared grief. She’d asked, he’d agreed, and she wouldn’t regret that. Except that now she couldn’t pretend she hadn’t developed feelings for him. Did he feel the same? Could he? Some small part of her was afraid to ask. The last time she’d been this close to him he’d walked away, and hardly spoken to her for years.
With a sigh, Lizzie went back into the bedroom, pausing at the door to appreciate the sight of a naked Adam stretched out on her sheets. She wanted to be with him, to touch him and have him touch her.
She climbed in beside him, and he moved over to accommodate her, curling his big, hard body around her back, his arms around her hips and breasts.
“Mmm . . .” He murmured in his sleep. “Nice.”
She smiled to herself as his touch became more purposeful, and deliberately pressed her butt back against his groin.
“God, Louisa, honey, you’ll wear me out.”
Lizzie froze and then gently eased herself out of his arms. She grabbed her robe again and went through into the kitchen. She was sitting on the couch, her arms wrapped tightly around her knees, when she sensed him come into the room.
She waited in silence as he crouched on the floor in front of her, his gaze steady.
“I didn’t mean to say that.”
She tried to tell him that it didn’t matter. Somehow the words stuck in her throat, and she could only look helplessly back at him.
He wrapped a hand around her ankle. “Lizzie, I was half asleep. I just—” He sighed. “Didn’t think.”
This time she managed an awkward nod.
“It’s the first time I’ve ever spent the night with someone other than Louisa.” Adam kept talking, his voice roughened with sleep. “I woke up feeling great, and my mind just . . . took me back to her.”
“Of course it did,” Lizzie said woodenly.
“I’m sorry.”
“Was that what you were thinking the whole time?” Lizzie couldn’t believe she’d actually spoken her worst fear out loud. “Were you imagining I was Louisa?”
“No.” He met her gaze head-on, his gray eyes clear. “I knew it was you. I wanted you.”
She let that sink in, wondered desperately if it was enough, and if she could believe him and live with it.
“Come back to bed.” Adam stroked his strong fingers over her skin. “Let me prove it to you. I’ll keep my goddamn eyes open the whole time I swear it. Please.”
“You don’t have to convince me of anything, okay?” Lizzie finally found the strength to answer him. “You don’t have to stay either, if you don’t want to.”
She got up, gathered her robe around her, and went through to her bedroom where she spent a moment folding his clothes before hanging her dress in the closet.