“What the hell can you possibly need to get out of your system that requires attacking so many other people?” He crossed his arms over his chest. “You don’t make sense, Chelsea. I know we’re friends and all, but damn if you aren’t confusing the hell out of me. You want to be platonic but crawl into my bed. You leave the lights on like a scared toddler and have a stage name like a stripper. You hide something that’s totally awesome like the derby, but you attack your teammates. I don’t understand what all this is adding up to—”
She leaned in close, her teeth gritted, fists clenched. “I. Was. Raped . Is that what you want to hear?”
It was like a splash of cold water on him. He took a step backward. “You . . . you what?”
Her breasts heaved, her expression emotional. “You want to know what I need to work through? Three years ago, I was roofied at a bar and when I woke up, I was in a Dumpster. Discarded like trash. So if I seem a little too ‘aggressive’ on the track”—she did air quotes around the word—“you don’t know the fucking half of it, all right?”
“Are we going to jaw all night or are we going to fucking talk some strategy?” A man in a purple shirt called from the next room. “Get the fuck over here, Chesty. Potty break’s over! We need to have a team talk.”
“I have to go,” Chelsea said to Sebastian in a flat voice. “Still got half the bout to go through.”
“I’ll see you when you get home,” Sebastian said. “Then we’ll talk.”
She skated away, not answering him.
And that was just fine. Because he couldn’t really put together coherent words at the moment. She’d leveled a grenade at him, an emotional grenade that had torn through his scaffolded hopes for what their relationship might turn into.
The derby he could handle.
The thought of Chelsea being traumatized and roofied? When who knew what happened to her?
It made him feel helpless. Angry. He understood why she skated like she was on a mission now. Why she flung herself at others, heedless of her own safety. Why she body slammed herself through every jam.
He felt like doing the same at the moment.
But he couldn’t, so he turned around and stalked out of the stadium.
He needed to think. To process.
Something.
Chapter Thirteen
Sebastian lay in bed, awake, staring at the ceiling as Chelsea arrived home. He heard her come up the stairs, but instead of heading to his bedroom, she went into the shower and he heard the water running for what felt like forever. The scent of soap and cherries filled the hall, and he rubbed a hand over his face for what felt like the thousandth time that hour. Tonight, he wasn’t sketching. It brought zero relief, because all he wanted to sketch was Chelsea.
And every time he pictured her face, he saw her dark, tortured eyes as she confessed her secret to him, over and over again.
I was roofied and left in a Dumpster.
He hated himself, but he needed to know more. What had happened? Did she know who’d done it to her? Was this why she wouldn’t date? Why she looked at men with fear and anger when they approached her? The questions ate at his mind.
The water turned off and he sat up in bed, waiting. Was she going to spend tonight with him after all? Or had his careless, pissy words scared her off?
Fuck, he hoped not. Maybe he needed to make the first move, to tell her he was sorry. Sebastian got out of bed—
—just as Chelsea knocked on his door. She poked her head in, her normally cheerful expression gone. “Can we talk?”
“Hop on in,” he said, gesturing at the bed he’d just vacated.
She slid into the room, wearing nothing but a pair of tiny boy short panties and another tank top. This one was purple and had her derby team’s logo on it. She came and sat cross-legged on the bed, clearly unwilling to lay down until they got it all out of their systems. All right, then, he could meet her halfway. He sat down across from her and sat cross-legged as well, his sleep pants tight on his knees. He was shirtless, and rubbed a hand on his chest. “Would you be more comfortable if I got dressed?”
“What?” She waved a hand, dismissing his words. “Pff, no. I’m totally fine. I’ve seen you more unclothed than that.”
“I just wasn’t sure after . . .”
“After I told you I was raped?” The look she gave him was patient. “We can talk about it, you know. I’m terrible with sharing things, but the more I think about it, the more I think this is a good thing, the sharing.” Her hands twisted in her lap. “So maybe you should let me talk for a bit and not interrupt, okay?”