She nodded, her eyes drooping slightly; the clock on the dresser beside us seemed to taunt us, as it flashed, 2:04 a.m.
“I’m not ready for this. He’s early, Liam. He can’t be early because I’m not fucking ready. I can only do this when I’m ready,” she whispered through deep breaths, as who could only be my mother, knocked against our door repeatedly.
“Liam? Mel? Are you okay? Can we come in? How far apart are your contractions?” My mother knocked like she was fucking SWAT.
“If there is any woman on this planet that can do this, it’s you.” I waited for her to nod before calling out to my mother. “We’re good, come in.”
“Oh thank Jesus!” she yelled, running in with curlers still in her hair, while wearing a pair of sweatpants I didn’t even know she owned.
“ARGH!” Mel screeched through her teeth. “Can someone please get me to a damn hospital? No way in hell I’m having this baby here.”
MELODY
“These endorphins better kick in hard when he gets here!” I screamed through another contraction before falling back onto the pillows. “It’s been nine hours. I just want sleep, damn it.”
“Shh, baby, I know,” Liam whispered, dabbing the sweat off my skin.
Finally, I smacked his hands away. “Your fucking hands were what got me in this shit. The moment this is over, I’m cutting your dick off and buying pit bulls just so they can eat it!”
“Mrs. Callahan, we need you to relax—” said a nurse.
“Have you ever tried to relax with a head trying spilt your vagina? I have a nice vagina. A cute, tight, great vagina! Ask him, that’s the reason why I’m like this. I’m trying to calm down, but again, there’s a head coming through my fucking awesome vagina! Now, you people leave me alone, I want everyone out!”
I’d tried everything and the damn meds they were giving me weren’t working. This was what you got when you spent years experimenting with different drugs. My body could eat epidurals for damn breakfast. They wouldn’t give me more for the baby’s safety and what I could say to that? Fuck it, I want meds. The doctors and nurses wouldn’t leave, they just wrote me off as though I was just another bitching pregnant woman.
“Liam, I want them out. I need a second, please,” I whined, covering my face with the blanket.
“Okay.” He kissed my head before snapping at the doctor,
He ushered them out of our birthing suite. Our usual doctor wasn’t here, so we were stuck with some random woman who kept probing me like we were on a damn date. I didn’t look up. I just wanted the pain to stop.
He brushed my hair back as he spoke. “I know this is a dumb question, but how do you feel?”
“Scared. Tired. Frustrated, and so fucking tired,” I whispered, leaning into him as he held me in his arms.
“You’re doing great, love. It’s almost over.”
“How do you know?” I’d overheard the damn nurses say this could be another long one and that was only after hour eight. “I’m so done being pregnant, Liam. I swear to God!”
Before he could tell me some other placating bullshit, I clutched his hand as another wave of aching rushed through me. I clenched my teeth together so hard I thought they would break; I couldn’t even hear myself scream.
“Mrs. Callahan? What are you feeling?” The doctor yelled, rushing back in with a new pair of gloves in her hands.
Staring at her for a moment fighting the urge to rip her head off. What the hell? I was feeling pain! What kind of motherfucking question was that?
“Pain. I want to push,” was all I could bring myself to say.
She checked my dilation with one hand as she used her other hand to push against my stomach “I’m sorry, Mrs. Callahan. You can’t.”
Fuck.
“How are her vital signs?” she asked, turning to the male nurse next me.
“Her blood pressure is elevating with each contraction, but not going down.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Liam snapped, pulling away from me for the first time since we had come into the suite.
She looked at the number on the monitor as she listened to my stomach for a moment, then the doctor shook her head. “We’re going to have to do a cesarean, Mr. and Mrs. Callahan.”
“You want to cut her open.” Liam shook his head, as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He glanced at me helplessly, and I could see the worry in his eyes.
“Your baby isn’t positioning himself right, and your blood pressure is rising. This is the safest way for you and your child—”
“Then do it,” I demanded, taking Liam’s hand. “If it’s the safest way.”
Nodding at her, Liam kissed the back of my hand as he sat beside me. “You’re going to be fine.”
“Okay, we’re going to prep you…”
I just tuned her out, and focused on the lights above me. I relaxed slightly at the feeling of the cold towel Liam was using to blot my skin. Everything just had to be so fucking complicated, damn it.
“Mrs. Callahan, I’m the anesthesiologist, Dr. Meroe. I’m going to give you something to make sure you feel nothing, but you’ll still be aware enough to greet your bundle.”
I wanted to speak but I couldn’t. I was too tried, and all I could do was nod and fight back the nervousness building at the base of my throat.
“Can you feel that?” Liam whispered, staring down at my stomach, his eyes glistening with…something…as he watched me.
“Believe me, if I felt it, you would know,” I said, trying to readjust myself.
“Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Callahan. Your son is going to be here in a few seconds…”
“Seconds!” My head snapped to the side, but I couldn’t see anything. Hands gripped me and loosened just slightly. There was a tug, and a lot of pressure, then nothing.
“Here we are,” the doctor cooed from behind her mask as a soft cry—my son’s cry—rang throughout the room.
I felt myself take in a deep breath just as Liam did, biting his lips and trying his best not to let the water building under his eyes to fall. There he was, a bundle of blood and fluid, wailing.
“Would you like to…”
“Yes,” Liam answered, cutting her off and taking the pair of scissors. I didn’t realize I was crying until I had to wipe my face, as I watched Liam cut the cord.
Our son’s little hands were waving everywhere.
I held my arms out for him, and the moment he was in them, I knew I never wanted to let him go.
“Hello…” I cried, kissing his head, “I’m your m…mo…”
“She’s your mommy.” Liam finished for me as he kissed my shoulder. He stood beside me before brushing our son’s little red checks.
Nodding, I cooed to him softly. “I’m your mommy, Ethan.”
“Thank you,” Liam whispered before kissing me once again. “Thank you so much for this…for him.”
THIRTY-TWO
“The value of marriage is not that adults produce children, but that children produce adults.”
—Peter De Vries
LIAM
I watched him. I couldn’t help it. He was just so tiny. I could hold him with just one hand. I hadn’t slept in hours…days? Who gave a shit, I had a son. He was here in my arms, drooling. He’d been in the world for only six hours, yet still I couldn’t imagine a moment without him.