“You could say that.”
Alarm flashed across her mother’s face. “Go sit down in the living room. We’ll be right there.”
Her mom hurried away and Ashley made her way into the spacious living room. Instead of sitting, she went to the fireplace, grateful for the warmth. She was cold on the inside and it felt as though she’d never be warm again.
A moment later, she heard the footsteps of her parents and she turned slowly to face them.
“Ashley, baby, what’s wrong?” her father asked sharply.
Both her mother and her father stood a short distance away, impatient and worried. She drew a deep breath and took the plunge. “I’ve left Devon and I’m pregnant.”
Gloria gasped and put her hand to her mouth. William’s eyes narrowed and he frowned. “What the hell happened?”
“You happened,” she said bitterly. “How could you, Daddy? How could you manipulate us both that way?”
Her father threw up his arm in anger and swore. “Damn it, I told him not to tell you.”
“He didn’t. I found out on my wedding night. Can you possibly imagine how awful it was to find out on my wedding night that my father had all but bought and paid for my husband?”
“William, what on earth is she talking about?” Gloria asked in bewilderment.
It relieved Ashley that at least her mother hadn’t known. She wouldn’t have been able to handle the double deception.
“He made me part of the Tricorp deal,” Ashley said with more calm than she felt. “He forced Devon to marry me or the deal was off the table.”
“Damn it, it wasn’t like that,” her father bit out. “You make it sound like…” He dragged a hand through his hair and closed his eyes wearily. “I just wanted what was best for you. I thought Devon would take care of you. He seemed perfect for you.”
“I can take care of myself. I don’t need a man to do that. I want a man who wants me for who I am, not because my father waves a lucrative deal in front of him. I want someone who loves me.”
“Oh darling,” Gloria said, finally finding her voice. She rushed forward and enfolded Ashley in her arms. “I’m so very sorry. How awful for you. I had no idea.”
Ashley closed her eyes, absorbing the love and acceptance she’d been denied with Devon.
Her mom pulled away and gently stroked a hand through Ashley’s hair. “What about you being pregnant? When did you find out?”
“I went to the doctor this morning. Then I went to see Devon.”
“Ashley, are you sure about this?” William asked. “I don’t believe for a moment that Devon doesn’t care about you. Think about what you’re doing here, honey. Do you really want to throw everything away because of the way you met? I understand your anger and I take full responsibility. Devon never wanted to deceive you. It was me from the start.”
She had to take a moment as she battled tears. “He doesn’t like the real me. He thinks I’m flighty, irresponsible, impulsive, too trusting. He wants to change everything about me. How can you possibly think this is a man I’d want to be with? Is that really who you’d want your daughter married to? What would that teach my daughter if I stay with a man who doesn’t value me? How can I expect her to have any self-respect if her mother doesn’t?”
Her mother wrapped an arm around her shoulders and glared her husband down with furious eyes. “I can’t believe you did this, William. What in the hell were you thinking? You may as well have told your daughter that she doesn’t matter. You’ve pulled some stupid stunts in your time, but this takes the cake.”
William sighed. “Ashley, please don’t be angry with me. I only wanted the best for you. You’re my only daughter and I just wanted to see your future secured. I thought that you and Devon would make a sound match. I was wrong and I’m sorrier than you can possibly imagine.”
“You aren’t pulling the plug on this deal,” Ashley said in a low voice. “You won’t punish Devon because he can’t love me. If you think he’s the best choice for the business then leave me out of it. I’d appreciate being able to make my own choices in the future, free of manipulation.”
“I do love you, baby. Please believe that. I never meant to hurt you. Devon tried to tell me but I wouldn’t listen. I thought I knew better. He wanted me to tell you everything. He didn’t want to deceive you but I tied his hands and for that I’m sorry.”
Tears welled in her eyes. Who knew what may have happened if they’d just been left alone?
William hesitantly pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight. “You know you can count on me and your mother to help you with whatever you need, and we’ll be here for the baby when it comes.”
“I know,” she whispered. “And I love you too, Daddy. Just let me make my own mistakes from now on. Your heart was in the right place but now I’ve fallen in love with a man who can never love the real me.”
He slowly released her and her mom pulled her into another hug. “Do you want me to send someone over for your things? You know you can stay here as long as you like.”
Ashley shook her head. “I’m going to stay with Pippa for a bit until I figure out what my next step is. I need to find a better job. I have a child to consider now. Devon is right about one thing. It’s time to pull my head out of the clouds and grow up.”
How long could she possibly avoid him? Devon paced his office, though he hadn’t gotten any work done in the three days since Ashley had walked out on him. He hadn’t slept. He’d worn out his phone trying to call her. He’d called her friends, her parents, every family member he had a number for.
The reception had been understandably chilly.
He didn’t care. He had no pride where Ashley was concerned. He didn’t care if he came across as the most pathetic, lovesick guy who’d ever lived. He just wanted her back. He wanted her stuff strewn all over his apartment. He wanted to be able to smell her as soon as he walked into a room. He wanted her to be happy again. He wanted her to smile.
When he wasn’t at the office, he was at the apartment, waiting. She hadn’t returned. Not even to get her things. All her clothes were still neatly hung in the closet. Her shoes—and there were a ton of shoes—were stacked in boxes on the shelves in his closet. Ashley never went anywhere without her shoes and the fact that she still hadn’t returned to the apartment worried him.
If only she’d answer her damn phone. Or one of the hundreds of texts he’d sent her. He just wanted to know she was all right. Worry was eating a hole in his gut. She was pregnant. What if she had another one of her headaches? Who would take care of her?
Eric had said she had frequent headaches when she was unhappy. Devon had made her miserable. Her medication was also at the apartment but surely she couldn’t take it now that she was pregnant. He could at least hold her, rub her head, make sure it was cool and dark in the room.
If she would just talk to him. Just give him a chance to tell her how much he loved her. He hadn’t realized how much he missed the sunshine she brought into his life until it was gone. Snuffed out over careless, thoughtless words he’d thrown at her.
His cell rang and he scrambled for it, nearly dropping it in his haste to see if it was Ashley calling. Disappointment nearly flattened him when he saw it was Rafael. With a heavy sigh, he put the phone to his ear and muttered a low hello.
“It’s a girl!” Rafael said in a jubilant voice. “A beautiful six-pound, twelve-ounce baby girl. She was born an hour ago.”
Devon’s eyes closed and he swallowed back the bitter disappointment. He was so envious of his friend in this moment that it took everything he had not to throw the phone at the wall.
“Hey man, that’s great. How is Bryony doing?”
“Oh she’s wonderful. What a trooper. I’m so damn proud of her. She breezed right through labor. I think she was a hell of a lot stronger than I was. I was ready to fall over by the time the little one made her appearance. But boy, is she gorgeous. Looks just like her mama.”
Devon could practically hear Rafael beaming through the phone.
“Give her my love,” Devon said. “I’m happy for both of you.”
“Is everything okay, Dev? You sound like hell if you don’t mind me saying.”
Devon hesitated. He didn’t want to dump on Rafael on the day his daughter was born, but he was at the end of his rope and he could use any advice he could get.
“No,” he said bluntly. “Ashley’s pregnant and she left me.”
“Whoa. Back up a minute. Holy crap. I thought she was head over heels in love with you? What the hell happened? And damn, you move fast. How far along is she?”
“I have no idea,” Devon said in a weary voice. “I don’t know anything. She came to my office three days ago, told me she was pregnant and then announced she was leaving me.”
“Ouch. That blows, man. I’m sorry to hear it. Is there anything I can do?”
Devon sank into his chair and rotated around so he could watch the falling snow through the window. “Yeah, you can give me some advice. I have to get her back, Rafe.”
There was a prolonged silence. Then Rafael blew out his breath. “Okay, well the first question. Do you love her? Or is this more of a ‘you’re not leaving me because you’re pregnant and we should stay married’ type thing?”
Devon swore. “I love her. I screwed up but I love her. Not that she’ll ever believe me. I messed up so bad with her, Rafe. I make you and Ryan look like choirboys.”
“Oh boy. That’s bad. That’s really, really bad.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Well, I’ll tell you like a certain gentleman once told me when I was standing around with my thumb up my ass wondering how the hell I was going to get Bryony to forgive me. Either go big or go home.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“It means you need to pull out the big guns. Do something huge. Make a gesture she can’t possibly misunderstand. And then get on your knees and grovel. Trust me. The first time on your knees sucks, but if she takes you back, you’ll spend the rest of your life on them anyway so better get used to it now.”
“If she’ll take me back, I’ll gladly stay on them,” Devon muttered.
“It pains me that I can’t even give you hell about falling hard like the rest of us poor schmucks you liked to rag on. You’re too pathetic to pick on right now.”
“Gee thanks,” Devon said dryly. “Don’t you have a daughter to go take care of? She probably needs a diaper change or something.”
“She’s sleeping with her mama, but yeah, I’m going to get back to my family. It’s the best feeling in the whole world, Dev. Get your ass out there and get your family back where they belong.”
“I will. And thanks, Rafe.”
“Hey, no problem, man. Anytime.”
Devon slid the phone back into his pocket and pondered his friend’s advice. Go big or go home. Pretty solid advice. Now he just had to figure out how big to go. There was absolutely nothing he wouldn’t do to convince Ashley to give him another chance.
Twenty
Ashley sat on Pippa’s couch, curled underneath a blanket as she sipped hot tea and watched it snow. It had snowed for the last two days, leaving a heavy blanket over the city. She longed for the comfort of her own apartment…or rather Devon’s apartment. She bleakly considered that it had never really been her home. But she missed it all the same. Nights like tonight she and Devon would have snuggled in front of the fire and watched a movie.
“Hey, chickie,” Pippa said as she settled down the couch from Ash with a bounce. “How are you feeling? Nausea still a problem?”
It was probably the pregnancy hormones—that was what she was blaming anyway—but she got positively weepy over how protective and caring Pippa had been ever since Ashley had moved in. Or sort of moved in, since Ashley hadn’t yet worked up the nerve to get her things from Devon’s apartment. Instead she’d been borrowing clothes from Pippa. But soon—as in tomorrow—she was going to have to brave going.
“Yes and no. I honestly don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or the fact I’m upset. I’ve been so queasy and nothing sounds good. Even my favorite foods have suddenly lost their appeal.”
“I’m sure neither is helping,” Pippa said dryly. She hesitated a moment as if deciding whether or not to say what was obviously on her mind. But Pippa wasn’t one to hold back. “Have you talked to Devon yet, Ash?”
Ashley put her cup down and sighed. “No. I’m a horrible coward.”
“No, you aren’t,” Pippa said fiercely. “It took guts to go to his office and lay it out to him like you did. I’m so freaking proud of you. I so want to be you when I grow up.”
Ashley’s eyes got all watery again. “Oh my God. I’ve got to stop this,” she said, sniffling back the tears. “Pippa, you’re the most put-together person I know. You’ve got it all. You’re smart. You can cook like a dream. You’re gorgeous. And you’re the best friend I could possibly hope for.”
“And strangely I’m still single,” Pippa drawled.
Ashley giggled. “Only because you’re a picky bitch, as you should be. I could use some lessons from you.”
Pippa shifted forward on the couch, her expression suddenly serious. “Ashley, you have no idea how truly special you are. When the rest of us were struggling to find ourselves, sleeping around and experimenting with all the wrong guys, you were so calm and centered. You knew exactly who you were and what you wanted. You’ve always known who you were. You valued yourself and you refused to settle for less. Just because Devon turned out to be a prick who tried to change you doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. You may have lost your way for a very short time, but ultimately you didn’t let him change you.”