He surprised her with his smile. “Endure?” he asked. “We’ll see about that, love.”
She pulled him down to kiss her, and when he lifted his head again, he was damned thankful to see the passion was back in her gaze.
He knew that very little time had actually passed since he’d planted himself deep inside her, but the raging demand in his body made him feel as if it had been an eternity.
The intensity in his expression aroused the passion simmering inside her.
“Tell me what to do. I want to please you.”
“You do please me. Bring your legs up real slow, baby, so I can . . .” His groan made speech impossible for him. The pleasure he’d received when she began to move made his control snap.
She’d expected pain, but when she drew her legs up, she felt an altogether different sensation.
The intensity of the feeling made her want more. She moved again, felt another burst of pleasure, and tightened her arms around him. It really did feel better.
“It feels good, doesn’t it? And this time, tell me the truth.”
He sounded as though he were in agony. “Yes,” she whispered. “I still don’t feel like thanking you though.”
God, how he loved her.
He told her to wrap her legs around him, then shifted his position and sank deeper inside.
Neither one of them could speak again. He pulled back, then surged deep once again. He wanted to take it slow and easy, to drive her completely out of her mind with pleasure, but she was so incredibly tight and hot, and it felt so damned good to be inside her, his need to quicken the pace took control of his actions now, and it was impossible for him to think about going slow or trying to be gentle. Hell, he couldn’t think at all. He could only feel.
Her whispered pleas and moans urged him on. Each time he partially withdrew from her, she lifted her hips to bring him back. Her nails scored his back as her own control vanished. She became more demanding with her caresses, her cries. The pressure inside her built until she thought she would die from the sweet agony. She didn’t know what she wanted. She only knew she wanted it now.
Passion raged between them, and it wasn’t long before she couldn’t bear the intensity of the mating another second. She found release then, surrendered to the bliss, and cried out his name as wave after wave of splendor washed over her. She squeezed him tight inside, and when he felt the tremors of her climax, he allowed his own surrender. He poured his seed into her with a low growl of raw satisfaction.
It was the most incredible release he had ever experienced.
And all because he loved her.
He collapsed on top of her. She had taken all of his strength, and it was going to be a while before he recovered. He wanted to sleep with her in his arms, and when he awakened, he wanted to lose himself in her love once again.
It took her long minutes to recover. She was overwhelmed by what had just happened to her. She felt as though her heart, her mind, and her very soul had all merged with his in that blissful moment of surrender and she was being surrounded by the warmth of his love. Mating with Harrison had been the most wonderful and glorious experience in her life.
He made everything wonderful. From the minute she had given her heart to him, her entire world had changed. Ordinary days were magical because she shared them with him. She couldn’t imagine life without him. He was loving and gentle and kind and compassionate. He was erotic and sensual and bold and arrogant.
He was just about perfect. And all because she loved him.
“Are you all right, Mary Rose?”
He lifted himself above her so he could see for himself and looked into her eyes. They were still misty from the passion she’d experienced. Her mouth was swollen. There were a couple of his whisker burns on her face as well. Seeing his marks on her gave him a great deal of satisfaction. She belonged to him, and damn but he liked seeing her like this.
“I hurt you, didn’t I?”
The question sounded sincere, but the slow smile that came over his expression confused her.
“Yes, you did hurt me, but the pain didn’t last long. I only cried for a second.”
“The first time,” he agreed.
“Why are you smiling? Don’t you care you hurt me?”
“Of course I care. I love you, Mary Rose. I’m smiling because of the way you look.”
His voice had taken on that gruff, sensual edge she liked so much.
“How do I look?” She sounded. breathless.
“Like I’ve just been inside you and loved you and satisfied you. I’m feeling real possessive right now.”
She was feeling incredibly warm and safe and loved:
“You’ve always been possessive.”
“It’s different now, sweetheart. I’ve wanted you in my bed a long time.”
She reached up and stroked the side of his face. “And now that I’m here?”
The smile faded from his face. “You’re mine.”
She wasn’t going to dispute the truth. “Yes, I’m yours.”
He nodded with satisfaction. Then he leaned down and kissed her.
She rubbed her toes against his legs and sighed into his mouth when his tongue began to tease hers.
He felt the stirrings of arousal and knew he needed to stop before passion made him forget her tender condition. She needed time to recover before he took her again.
He pulled away, rolled onto his back, and then drew her up against his side.
“We have to talk, Mary Rose.”
The seriousness in his tone of voice worried her. She knew better than to try to second-guess him, but her own vulnerability made her think he was about to say something she didn’t want to hear. She even believed she knew exactly what it was.
Several minutes passed in silence. He stared at the ceiling while he considered various ways to discuss their future.
She spent the time fretting.
She couldn’t stand the silence any longer. “I’ll make it easy for you, Harrison. I’ll say it for you. You’re . . .”
He didn’t let her finish.
He tightened his hold around her waist and said, “You can’t possibly know what I’m going to say. You aren’t a mind reader, sweetheart.”
“No, I can’t read your mind,” she agreed. “I can draw certain conclusions though. From the seriousness in your tone of voice, I concluded the importance of what you want to say. Your hesitancy told me you were having trouble finding the right words. Am I right so far?”
“Yes,” he answered. “What I have to say to you is serious, and yes, I want to find just the right words.”
“Because you’re an attorney.”
“No, because I want to make certain you understand. I want to prepare you.”
“Harrison, I could save you a lot of time.”
She began to caress his chest with her fingers, barely aware she was distracting the hell out of him. He suddenly wanted to make love to her again.
He was going to talk to her first, however. He grabbed hold of her hand and held tight.
She promptly leaned up and kissed the base of his neck.
“Quit tempting me.” The command was given in a rough, no-nonsense tone of voice.
She ignored it and deliberately kissed him again.
“I’m not tempting you. I’m consoling you. There’s a difference.”
“You’re naked in my arms, Mary Rose. Therefore . . .”
“I’m tempting you.”
“Yes.”
She let out a sigh and rested the side of her face against his warm skin.
“I understand what’s happening to you. You’re having regrets now. I understand, Harrison, and that is why I was trying to console you. You don’t have to feel guilty any longer.”
He went completely still. “Exactly what am I supposed to be regretting?”
“Our . . . indiscretion.”
“Our what?”
The calmness in his voice masked his anger. He refused to belie
ve what he had just heard. She was going to have to say it again, just to convince him.
“Our indiscretion.”
She felt his long, indrawn breath. The reaction should have been a warning of the fury coming. He also tightened his arm around her waist.
She still wasn’t prepared.
“How in God’s name does that mind of yours work? I know you’re as intelligent as everyone else. Hell, you’re smarter than everyone else. Does everything shut down inside your head? How could you possibly believe tonight was an indiscretion? Answer me.”
He didn’t give her time to say a word, however. “We made a commitment to each other. Got that?”
Mary Rose was astonished by his anger. She wasn’t at all frightened by it though. The realization made her smile. Harrison was roaring like a wounded bear, and she was feeling just as safe as always.
She didn’t understand his reaction, however. He acted as though she had just grossly insulted him. And his mother. And even his dog, if he happened to have one.
She tried to keep the smile out of her voice when he finally let her speak.
“I didn’t say I believed we had been indiscreet. I thought you . . .”
He interrupted her again. “Listen to me. I really don’t think you quite get it yet.”
“Get it? What does that mean?”
“It means you obviously didn’t understand me when I said you were mine now. I didn’t imply you were mine for the night. I meant forever.”
“I wish you’d be logical about this. If ...”
“You want me to be logical?”
She thought that perhaps it hadn’t been the right thing to say to him. She was thankful she couldn’t see his face now, because she knew the muscle in the side of his cheek was probably going crazy. It flexed whenever he clenched his jaw, and he always did that when he was angry. It was a dead giveaway that a storm was coming.
“It appears I can’t say the right thing to appease you.”
He started to tell her what he thought about her remark, then decided against it. He knew if he continued on, he would become furious all over again. Indiscretion? He still couldn’t believe she’d used that word to describe what had happened tonight. It was going to take him a good week to get over it.
His silence indicated to her that he was ready to listen to reason. “I’m new at this. You could be a little more patient with me. It wouldn’t kill you, so quit breathing like that. I’ve never been intimate before. I can’t help but feel vulnerable.”
She was certain her explanation would gain his sympathy and his understanding. She was wrong with both expectations.
“It’s ridiculous for you to feel the least bit vulnerable. It’s also damned insulting to me, woman.”
She was beginning to lose her patience. He was taking exception to every word she said. He really was as temperamental as his horse. She considered telling him so, then changed her mind. The comparison would probably set his temper off again.
“You didn’t use to be this moody.”
“I didn’t used to be in love with you.”
She drummed her fingers against his chest. “Cole always becomes moody when he feels guilty about something.”
“I don’t feel guilty about a damned thing. Do you feel guilty?”
He grabbed hold of her hand and started squeezing. He was telling her without words her answer better be the one he wanted to hear.
“No, I don’t feel guilty. Happy now?”
He didn’t answer her. He relaxed his hold on her hand, though, and so she assumed she’d given him the right response.
“I believe we should end this discussion. If we continue, we’ll get into a full-blown argument. Then you’ll have to apologize to me. Do you really want to waste all that time begging my forgiveness when we could be doing much more enjoyable things?”
He smiled in spite of his irritation. “What makes you think I’ll apologize?”
“Because I can wait longer than you can. You’ll give in before I will.”
“In other words, you hold a grudge. Your brothers mentioned that flaw to me.”
“Sometimes I do.”
He started to laugh. “Mary Rose, you make me want to shake you and kiss you at the same time. Honest to God, you’re going to drive me out of my mind one of these days.”
She started stroking his chest again. She loved the feel of his hair curling around her fingers. She wished he’d kiss her again. Just thinking about it made her restless. She let out a little sigh and draped her thigh across him.
He let out a grunt. She realized where her thigh was then, but the heat radiating from his groin felt too good against her skin for her to move away.
If he hadn’t liked it, he would have pushed her away. He didn’t though. He put his hand on her knee and began to caress her.
“Harrison?”
“Yes?”
“Was tonight as nice as your dream was?”
“It was much, much better. My dreams weren’t ever nice. They made me hot. Tonight, you made me burn. Understand?”
“You were satisfied?”
He could hear the amusement in her voice and knew she was up to something. He smiled in anticipation. God only knew what she was going to say.
“Yes, I was satisfied.”
“Now you sound appreciative, grateful. Are you?”
Her fingertips were making circles around his nipple. It was driving him to distraction.
“Yes,” he answered gruffly.
“I guess I made you happy.”
“Yes. You made me very happy.”
She smiled against his chest. He was mildly surprised she needed this much assurance. The way he had responded to her while they were making love should have told her how good she’d been. Maybe she really was feeling vulnerable because it had been a new experience for her.
Lord, was she beginning to make sense?
“And you can’t thank me enough.”
Her whispered words finally registered in his mind. She was tossing his words back at him. Harrison laughed again. “I guess you didn’t much like hearing that part of my dream, did you, sweetheart?”
She was too content to answer him. A sudden thought turned her attention. “What did you mean when you said I only cried for a second the first time? Did I cry again?”
“Yes. It lasted longer.”
“When?”
“When you came apart.”
The memory made her blush. She really had come apart during her climax. She didn’t remember crying though. Finding fulfillment had required her full attention.
“Now will you listen to what I have to say?”
“If you’re going to tell me I’ll hate you, then no, I won’t listen.”
“I want to talk about our future.”
“All right.”
“The next six months are going to be difficult for you.”
“Do you plan to be difficult?”
“No, that isn’t what I meant.”
“I love you, Harrison.”
“I love you too. I have to go back to England, sweetheart. I want you to join me there.”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Why do you have to go back?”
“I have to finish something I started.”
“Will you want to stay there for a long time?”
“That depends on you.”
She didn’t understand. “Do you still long for the Highlands?”
“I long to be with you. Where I live isn’t important.”
“It used to be important.”
He smiled. She was right about that. Returning to the Highlands had been an obsession. His plans had all changed, of course, because of Mary Rose. He could be happy anywhere in the world as long as he had her by his side.
“When do you want to leave?”
“I had thought to leave the day after tomorrow. I want you to come to me as soon as possible.”
He had just overwhelmed her wit
h all the changes he wanted to make. How could she possibly leave her brothers? England was an ocean away. Oh, God, why did it have to be so far?
Would they live in the city? How could she live like that? She wouldn’t be able to breathe. The crowds would drive her wild. Would she look out her window and see pavement and buildings? How could she leave her paradise?
And how could she ever let Harrison leave her behind? Life without him would be unbearable.
Her mind reeled with questions.
“I know you need time to think about it, sweetheart.”
“Yes,” she answered. “I wish . . . Harrison, would you ever consider living here?”
“If it were possible.”
“Is it?”
“I don’t know yet,” he replied.
“What if I couldn’t join you?”
“I would come back to get you.”
“I don’t want to think about the future now. Tomorrow we’ll worry about plans and decisions. Please kiss me again. I want you to make love to me now.”
She lifted up on her elbows and stared down into his eyes.
“I want to feel you inside me again,” she whispered.
“We can’t,” he whispered. “It’s too soon, sweetheart. It would hurt.”
She leaned down and kissed him. She didn’t care if it hurt or not. She needed him.
“Please,” she whispered. Her lips brushed over his again. “One kiss, my love. Let me kiss you once and if you want me to stop then, I promise you I will.”
“I love the way you throw my words back at me,” he said. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her up until she was stretched out on top of him.
“Are you planning to keep on kissing me until you’ve got me inside you?”
“Oh, yes.”
They were the last coherent words either one of them could speak for a long, long time.
They fell asleep wrapped in a tangle of arms and legs. And love.
April 5, 1868
Dear Mama Rose,
Adam got in a fight yesterday. It was all my fault, because the Indians like my pretty hair. I am putting some of it in the envelope so you can see how pretty it is. But it’s yellow, Mama, and the Indians liked it so much they tried to take it all off my head. Then one of them says to take me with my hair and that’s when Adam got mad. Cole and Douglas were gone, and by the time Travis came out of the barn, Adam had punched them good and hard. Your son got a bloody nose, but the Indians he got mad at were all sleeping in our garden by the time he got done with them.