“What the hell are you thinking right now?”
She sighed. “It’s silly. I guess I was worried about how to respond to that. And how it would make me sound if I did say that the thought of you punishing me turned me on. You said you weren’t into games and you wanted to keep it real.”
He brushed his thumb over her lips to silence her.
“First of all, never ever hesitate to tell me anything. Especially what turns you on, what you want, what you need from me. Sexually, emotionally, whatever. Second thing, your desires aren’t a game. I get that what I said may have caused some confusion. What I meant was that you and me, we’re real. Not a game. Doesn’t mean we can’t play together. As long as you get that what we do is real.”
“Clear as mud,” Josie said, amusement thick in her voice.
“We haven’t talked about punishment. Have to tell you, I’m not much into the discipline thing. I’m not your father and you’re not a child. But there are things I like, and there’s a big difference between thinking you need punishing and me wanting to redden your ass because it turns me on. Get where I’m coming from?”
“Yeah,” she said breathily.
“I’m guessing that idea appeals to you too.”
She nodded. “I like it. I mean it’s a turn-on. There’s something hot about a mouthwatering alpha male spanking me. Or exerting his will over me. That probably sounds stupid.”
Ash sighed. “You’re not getting me, baby. Nothing you think or feel is stupid. Understand? If it turns you on then it’s not stupid. If it turns you on, I want to know about it because I want to bring you pleasure. I want to make you feel good. Now, what I want at this exact moment is you on your knees, my dick in your mouth. But after? We’re going to have a discussion about your kinks. And mine for that matter. Hopefully they’ll match up pretty damn well.”
She swallowed and licked her lips in anticipation.
He groaned and then pressed his mouth to hers, devouring her hungrily.
“You drive me crazy,” he said into her mouth.
“Good,” she whispered.
He reared back, pushing up to his feet. Then he extended his hand down to help her up. After reaching over for one of the pillows from the couch, he dropped it onto the floor and then urged her down on her knees on the cushion.
His hand went to his fly, unfastening it and then lowering the zipper. He reached in, pulled his straining erection from the confines of his pants and fisted it as it jutted forward toward her mouth.
“Lick it,” he rasped out. “Tease the head and then suck me deep.”
She flicked out her tongue, circling the broad head and teasing the sensitive underside. She loved the way he sucked in his breath and the way it escaped in a long hiss in reaction.
His fingers delved into her hair, twisting around the strands before his knuckles came to rest against her scalp. His hold wasn’t gentle, and she liked that. With his other hand, he cupped her jaw, opening her mouth as he pushed inside.
His thrusts weren’t any more gentle than his grip in her hair, and she loved that too. She loved the raw power barely restrained underneath the surface. He was like a lion poised to pounce. All predatory, delicious male.
She levered up higher so she could take him deeper. She wanted him deeper. Wanted his taste, loved the way he took control, the fact that she had no power except what he gave her.
“Jesus,” he breathed. “Never felt anything better than your mouth around my cock, baby.”
She shivered in delight over his words. Her nipples hardened, puckering into taut crests. She gasped when he reached down and took both nipples between his thumbs and forefingers, twisting gently, exerting just enough pressure to drive her insane without causing her pain.
She licked leisurely from base to tip, letting the head rest precariously on her lips before sucking him back in and sliding her mouth down until her chin rested against his sac. She swallowed, milking the head with the back of her throat. He groaned, rewarding her effort with a twitch, and his fingers grew more aggressive at her breasts, eliciting a groan of her own.
“I’ve imagined you so many ways,” Ash said in a strained voice. “Tied up, ass in the air, my mark on your skin. On your hands and knees, me taking you from behind, in your ass, in your pussy. You on top of me, riding me. Me eating your sweet pussy while you suck my dick. You name it, I’ve imagined it.”
She shuddered, her body trembling almost violently as the images he provoked fired through her mind.
“I won’t always be this easy, baby,” he murmured. “It’s hard to hold back, but I don’t want it to be too much too fast.”
She tore her mouth away from his cock and stared up at him, her fingers wrapped around his erection. “I don’t want you to be easy, Ash. That’s not why I’m with you. I want what you can give me. I need it.”
He cupped her face in his hands and looked down, his expression tender. “I love that you want that from me, Josie. I just want to make sure you’re ready for it. You’ve been through a lot and the last few days have been hectic and stressful for you.”
“Yes, they have,” she agreed. “But do you know today was the best day? The first day in longer than I can remember where I was utterly content. I was happy, Ash. Because of you. Because I was here. I sat in your living room painting, and all I could think was how content I was to be here, working, anticipating the moment when you called to let me know you were on your way home.”
His eyes softened and went liquid green, the color almost electric. “You take my breath away.”
“Now,” she said, rocking back on her heels as she positioned her mouth to take his cock again. “When do we get to the kinky part?”
Chapter sixteen
Ash was nearly undone by the sight of Josie on her knees, her mouth around his dick, just like he’d imagined so many times since seeing her that first day in the park. Now she was his. In his apartment. His life.
He knew she’d given him a precious gift. He didn’t look beyond the fact that she offered him her trust. She’d placed her body and heart in his hands, and he’d do whatever it took to protect both. He’d never take for granted what this beautiful, courageous woman was giving him.
He slid his hands through her hair, curling the strands around his fingers as he leaned into her. Deeper. Each stroke the most exquisite pleasure he’d ever experienced.
He’d had many women. He’d been honest with Josie about that. But she was different. And he couldn’t even say why definitively. There was something about her that just spoke to him on a different level. Made him think about permanency when that had never been an issue in his past relationships. But then, him and Jace fucking the same women could hardly be classified as actual relationships.
It had been years since he’d spent any time with a woman one-on-one, and he found the idea appealed to him now. Josie appealed to him.
She was on her knees before him, utterly submissive, and not only submissive, but she wanted the same things he wanted. Enjoyed the same kinks he enjoyed. There wasn’t a more perfect woman for him. Of that he was certain.
He sank deep into her mouth, twitching at the back of her throat before sliding back out, enjoying the rasp of her tongue over the sensitive underside of his dick. Then he withdrew, watched as her eyes, aquamarine pools clouded with desire, found his.
Wordlessly, he extended his hand down for hers to help her to her feet. As soon as she’d risen, he pulled her into his arms, crushing her against his chest. He kissed her, almost forgetting in his urgency to possess her mouth that he should take care. She still wore bruises. Her mouth was still tender. Yet it hadn’t stopped him from fucking her mouth, even as gentle as he’d been.
“Let’s go into the bedroom,” he said gruffly. “I’ve been hard on your mouth. For now I’ll focus on other portions of your delectable body.”
Her eyes flared with heat and anticipation. She’d asked him for kinky. He sure as hell could accommodate her there. His hands itched to redden her ass, to see his marks of possession on her body. It was a primitive urge that completely overtook him. He wanted to own her, for there to be no question as to his ownership.
But as he guided her toward his bedroom, he acknowledged that he didn’t want just to own her body. He wanted to own her heart. And while he would possess her body in short order—as he’d already possessed her once—it would take much more effort and time to own the parts of her she held most dear. Her heart, mind and soul.
He wanted them all. Wouldn’t settle for anything less than all of her.
Now he just had to convince her.
“Get on the bed. Lie on your stomach, hands behind you at the small of your back. I’ll come to you as soon as I prepare everything.”
She caught her breath and color suffused her cheeks. He could see her breathing had sped up and excitement reflected in her gaze. Her hand slid from his, leaving him bereft of her touch. Then she walked to his bed and positioned herself as he’d directed.
He collected the items he needed from his closet. A leather strap. He was confident it would bring her—and himself—great pleasure. A length of rope.
He dropped the rope on the bed and then positioned his knee between her splayed thighs. He gathered her wrists in one hand and then began coiling the silken rope around them, binding them together.
She gasped softly. He could feel the tension coiling in her body.
When he had her wrists securely tied, he stepped back.
“Up on your knees,” he said firmly, injecting a bite of command into his tone. “Ass in the air. Cheek against the mattress.”
She struggled upward, and he reached underneath her, splaying his hand over her soft belly. He helped her upward until her knees found purchase in the mattress and she rested her face against the bed.
Satisfied with her position, he stepped back again to retrieve the leather strap.
“Have you done this before, Josie? I don’t want it to be too much. You need to let me know what you can take.”
“Yes,” she whispered. “And I can take a lot, Ash. Don’t hold back. I . . . need it. I want it.”
He leaned forward, blanketing her with his body. “If it’s too much, at any time, you say stop. Understand? It all ends with that word, darling.”
A shudder rolled through her body. She liked endearments. He liked her reaction every time he used them.
Then he stepped back once more and smoothed a hand over her plump ass.
“Twelve,” he said. “Twelve marks you’ll wear on your skin. When I’m certain you’re with me, we’ll graduate to more. But for now, we start at a dozen.”
She nodded, her eyes closed, her lips tight with anticipation. He didn’t make her wait any longer.
The first snap of leather against her skin was loud in the silence. She jumped, the red immediately blazing across her ass. Then a soft moan escaped her lips, the sound intoxicating to him.
Again he expertly delivered the blow, the other cheek this time. Red shimmered, coloring her skin, the contrast between the paler, untouched skin and where the leather had kissed beautiful and striking.
She squirmed restlessly as he administered the third, fourth and fifth. By the ninth, she was softly begging. More. Harder.
“The last three, Josie. They’ll be harder. And then I’m going to fuck your sweet ass. Think you can take that?”
“Ash.”
His name came out a moan. A desperate plea. Yeah, she was with him. More than with him. He was holding back, and she didn’t want that.
He allowed more power into the tenth stroke, watching her closely, how she took the pain. It was there, at first. But just as quickly as the pain registered, she converted it, pushed it away and embraced the pleasure.
Her eyes, open now, were soft and dreamy, as if she’d escaped into another world.
He wasn’t used to tempering his movements, to holding himself back. He’d held back with Bethany, that night he and Jace had been with her together, because Jace wouldn’t allow him to do anything but. But Josie was important. Different. He wanted to cherish her. Be gentle and patient, even when she herself exuded impatience with his reserve. There would be plenty of time for him to give her everything. For now he wanted to make sure she was with him every step of the way, that he didn’t cross the line and cause her more pain than pleasure.
He gave her the eleventh and then paused, savoring the last, wanting her edgy and needing. She twisted restlessly, arching back. He didn’t even know if she was cognizant of the way her body begged for more.
“Twelve, Josie. Take the last. Give it to me. Everything you have.”
He brought the strap down, harder than the previous times, taking care not to hit the same spots he’d hit before. The crack sounded. Her surprised yelp faded into a moan. A soft, sweet sigh of pleasure that prickled the hair at his nape and dove deep under his skin. His dick was rigid, so hard it was painful. He wanted inside her body. Deep in her ass. It was the one part of her he hadn’t possessed yet, the final hurdle in his complete ownership of her body.