Turn and Burn (Blacktop Cowboys 5)

Fletch hadn’t been lying, exactly. He was sick. Heartsick.

He dragged himself out of bed and showered. Halfway to Muddy Gap he wondered if he should’ve brought her flowers or something. During the remainder of the drive he hadn’t come up with any great speech to give Tanna; he just hoped she’d give him a chance to speak.

His stomach lurched seeing Tanna’s horse trailer stretched along the back fence—especially when he saw the living quarters’ door open and odds and ends littering the ground. He parked behind her, essentially blocking her in.

He was not letting this woman go without a fight.

Fletch marched up to the door. He didn’t bother to knock; he just barged right in. “Tanna?”

She whirled around. “Fletch? What are you doin’ here?”

His heart gave one last thump before it rolled over and dropped at her booted feet. This beautiful woman owned him. Heart and soul. Blood and bone.

“I came to apologize.”

“Okay. But it’s the middle of a workday. Are you on lunch break or something?”

“No. I called in sick.”

Her mouth dropped open. “What? You never call in sick.”

“I know.” He erased the distance between them and cradled her face in his hands. “This couldn’t wait another day. I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I am saying it now. Tanna. I love you.” Then he kissed her.

The kiss wasn’t dueling tongues and unrestrained lust, although it simmered just beneath the surface like it always did with them. But more an affirmation of how he felt.

Question was: did she feel the same?

They reluctantly broke apart. She rested the side of her face against his heart. “Apology accepted. I missed you so much. I hate fighting. Especially with someone I love.”

He tipped her face up. “Can you look at me when you say that?”

“I love you.”

“Aw, sugar twang, that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard.”

She smiled at him. “Felt good to finally say it. Almost as good as it felt to hear it.”

Fletch kissed her again. “We need to talk.”

“I know.” She stepped back. “Have a seat.”

He’d never fit in the bench seat with the foldout table. Damn thing had to’ve been made for midgets. Another bench ran along the opposite short wall. He sat and tugged her onto his lap so she faced him.

“Fletch. We’re supposed to be talking.”

“We are. But we’re gonna stay close like this while we’re talking as a reminder to each of us how right it is when we are close like this.”

“You are such a sweet, wonderful man.”

“But you’re still leaving me. You’re moving to Colorado.”

“I don’t know if it’s moving,” she said in a soothing tone. “I called the Gradskys this morning after Harper talked to me and accepted their offer. So I’m goin’ there to train. We’re bein’ fluid with plans because with all the unknowns, things can change in a helluva hurry.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Fletch said softly.

Tanna froze. “You don’t want me to go, or you’re asking me to stay?”

“Both.” He sighed and shoved his hand through his hair before meeting her eyes again. “I know what this opportunity means to you. A chance to get back doin’ what you love, what you’re meant to do. I’d never ask you not to live your dream, Tanna.”

“But?”

“But there’s already a big hole in my life from you leaving and you ain’t even gone yet. That’s why I stayed away from you. I thought it’d be easy to get used to you bein’ gone. But it wasn’t. Not by a long goddamn shot.”

She blinked at him, wordlessly urging him to continue.

He couldn’t maintain eye contact when he confessed this next part. He stared at an ugly cow figurine, wearing a grass skirt that sat on the opposite counter. “Want to know why I didn’t come to watch you Saturday?”

“Why?”

“Because I’d’ve been happy if you’d sucked. Christ. What kind of man does that make me?”

“An honest man.” A pause. “Would you’ve been happy if I’d succeeded?”

“Beyond happy because I know how hard you’ve struggled. So see? I was screwed either way. God, Tanna, I love you and it’s killing me to watch you pack up even when I won’t try and stop you.”

Silence.

Tanna framed his face in her hands and tipped his head back. “You love me, right?”

“I’ve been in love with you since the night we first met.” He smiled slightly. “In fact, I believe I told you I loved you that night at the bar.”

“You were joking.”

“Was I? When I saw you at the branding I had the feeling we were meant to be. As we got to know each other I had this hope that you’d fall in love with me. That you’d walk away from barrel racing and we’d live happily ever after. I’d even had this secret fantasy that you came to work for me as my vet assistant. But at some point, I understood that as perfect as that scenario would be for me, it wouldn’t be perfect for you. You’d always wonder if you’d settled for me because you couldn’t have what you really wanted.”

“But you never said . . . you never encouraged me to quit. Exactly the opposite in fact. You forced me to get on a horse that day.”